Well, damn. And I was about to offer Stoid the chance to be my love monkey. Never mind, then!
- I’m looking for new and exciting people, so I can maye try something different, like learn how to rollerskate or try my hand at ultimate frizbee.
2 & 3) I’ve been told I have a sense of humor, but my sibling says it’s “brain damage”. You be the judge: pull my finger… Just kidding!
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These are the things I like to do for fun: This, That, and the Other.
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My idea of a romantic evening is a bottle of wine and starlight: a rooftop, an empty, beach, or a midnight picnic, as long there is a peace and quiet and we can talk like we’re the only ones there.
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I’m a vegetarian, but I like the high end veggie restaurants that serve me food that sticks to my ribs. Not the rabbit-food kind. And I like places that have a beatnik vibe and live jazz late during the cocktail hour.
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(Anything with a full sentence that makes you look like an adult).
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(A simple signoff)
Basically, put anything that is specific to who you are! People who actually put stuff in their ad that allows people to learn something about them, will have far, far better success because they will be able to see if you’re compatible or not, while they’re browsing. If you list actual interests explicitly enough, then maybe someone who shares your interest can find you.
If a someone is a die hard carnivore, who hunts on the weekends, and thinks a romantic night is dancing at a nightclub, then he/she will read the above and think “No, that would be a waste of my time.” The person won’t call you and waste your time. By the same token, the sensitive vegan who also shares your hobbies of This, and That, sees right away that you have a lot in common and there is already some kind of foundation for communication.
Action works and decisive descriptions will go farther than vague and wishy-washy. Something as generic as “I like to breathe!” doesn’t tell the recipient of your ad anything about you.
Oh, please. I’m never bored, because I get to be with me!"? Heck, I love me, I think I’m grand (when I’m with me, I hold my hand), and I still am not under the impression that (a) boredom will never strike or (b) if it doesn’t, it must be due to how super-awesome it is for me to “get” to be with myself (lucky, lucky me!), as opposed to the simple fact that I’m just pretty good at entertaining myself.
One might assume that such all-pervasive fabulousness as to consider one’s own company a privilege would obviate either the necessity or inclination to place a personal ad in the first place. There’s quite a healthy serving of irony there, but I doubt the OP’er will see it.
Two words: SAND FLEAS.
Two lovers and their sand fleas … how romantic. 
Jodi to clarify, I don’t think the OP is referring to the occasional ennui people get. Sure, everyone gets a little bored from time to time, even if it’s briefly before they decide to go out and do something. But I think the OP is referring to personal ads where respondents fill out templates, and where it says: “What brings you to Find-a-Honey?” they answer uelessly: “I’m bored of my regular scene, and looking for something new.”
That’s not helpful for anyone who reads their ad. Even putting a more positive spin on it would be preferable because it voices enthusiasm: “I’m looking for new experiences! I need a change of social scene.” because that at least is friendly. Better still is to provide some kind of descriptor: “I’ve been living the corporate life, and looking to loosen my tie, and maybe try ballroom dancing or something…”
Anything that serves as a starting point will do, but most people fill in personal ads with a series of dead-end answers.
Walk up to someone in a bar, and ask “What brings you here?”
If that person just answers “I’m bored.” The conversation grinds to a halt.
So that’s why all my relationships are so fleating!
Just don’t order milk at L’Auberge Chez Francois.
Damn, don’t we like ourselves?
:rolleyes:
So, do you want a date, or just someone to lick your ass constantly and tell you how lovely your farts smell?
She better mention whether or not she’s had anal bleaching done, first.
Does the OP have a point about personal ad drafting, and how not to do it? Yup.
Does the OP sound, from the limited evidence available, like an unpleasantly egotistic person, not a whole lot of fun to date? Also yup.
Great OP – I can see why people responded to your ad if it was this witty (is there an ‘I’m not being sarcastic’ smiley?). You weren’t being harsh, either. Answers like ‘Great ad. Here’s my number. Call me’ make these guys about desirable and charismatic as Russian mail-order bride spam. And the ones who read an entire ad then totally disregard its contents (e.g. proposing a fling when the ad mentions wanting to start a family) is just sleazy.
Well let me tell ya then…
I’m ugly. I gots hair growing outta my bum like someone planted a mop up there. I make people around me miserable. I HATE going on walks. Walks are stupid. Anyone who ever uses the word romantic is stupid!
I don’t want to talk to you. I’m only responding to yer add 'cause my momma made me, and damnit all if I’m not ready to kill the bitch.
Love ya toots, get back to me. 
Ahh… the delicious satisfaction of being perfectly understood. It’s like a massage.
Now, for the record:
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I do not insult anyone who contacts me…or rather, I strive not to, it is not my intention to ever do so. In fact, unlike most people in the world of personals, I try to make it a point to respond to everyone, and my blowoff is generally something like: " Thank you for your interest/time/compliments, but based on your profile/message/whatever, I feel we wouldn’t be a good match. It’s not a judgment on you or me, we just aren’t suited. Good luck in your search." If I made it a habit to tell these guys all the above, I wouldn’t have come here to say it.
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Notes on funny and me- the op remark is me responding to the generic stand in guy I’m talking about who has told me this, I’m not trying to convince YOU guys that I’m funny. As to my profile… who knows wht drugs I was on, except that I was evidently in a crabby, overly sober mood and felt the need to apologize for it somehow. (Wehn did I write that, anyway…)
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Boredom and getting to be with me: good lord. A) the point of the thread is that so many people need other people to entertain them, and so often I find men want ME to do that…so getting to be with the person they find entertaining means I’m probably going to be entertaining and B) As it happens, I am not bored. Ever. The world is an endlessly interesting place and I am perpetually interested in it, as well as finding my own thoughts very engaging. I consider it a tremendous good in my life and for my life that I spent a great deal of time alone as a child, and learned early how to keep myself stimulated. (insert stupid joke here…or don’t, that would be even better). I’m amazed by people who require others to keep them from boredom, or, even more shocking, a job! I can find enough to keep me interested and engaged for five lifetimes without ever working at anything I don’t particularly want to ever again.
And someone along the way pointed out the distinction between wanting someone because you’re bored and wanting someone because you are lonely. Two completely different things.
And then there’s wanting someone not because you are bored OR lonely, but simply because you want to have a delicious sexual and chemical and emotional connection because it just feels great. That would be my big motivator for gettin’ out there. I like stuff that feels really great, and fabulous connections that include a powerful sexual component top my list of things that feel great.
I’m guessing it’s more of a deep-tissue massage to be perfectly understood by a person who disagrees with either what you say or how you say it or both. So consider yourself rolfed. Disagreement != misunderstanding.
This doesn’t make any sense. Are you saying you are required to be entertaining, and you don’t want to have to be? Or are you saying you are just naturally so darn entertaining that you can’t help but entertain the ones you’re with?
What is really unattractive about this, since you seem to have missed it, is the element of smug self-congratulation. Other people are rarely bored too, other people manage to entertain themselves – they just are smart enough not to phrase it in terms of “getting” to enjoy their own company and finding themselves “very engaging” – five lifetimes worth of engaging, apparently. (Wowsers.) It reads as arrogance, and few people want to pursue a delicious emotional connection with a people who come off as quite so in love with themselves.
Dear Stoid,
Saw your personal ad. You talk too fucking much.
Drop me a line.
Love,
Ogre
( )
Yep, and we like ourselves better with each passing year that we live. It is one of the compensations for losing our youth. We find liking ourselves a very healthy and satisfying feeling, and it has been earned. Therefore, we would like very much to date and spend time with gentlemen who also like themselves in a healthy, well-earned way, and we find that people who are casting about for someone to entertain them generally do not fit that description.
Ah Guin… I can count on you to miss the point entirely. If I was merely seeking fans and admirers, the gentlemen I am complaining about would be just the ticket, woudn’t they? Seeing as how they have nothing interesting to say and they are so complimentary, almost fan-like. It’s nice to be appreciated, of course, but it would be so much nicer to be appreciated by someone I could appreciate in return.
It is really sad to me how many people cling to the idea that there is something inherently wrong with openly acknowledging one’s positive traits and qualitiies, whatever they are. I find false modesty ridiculous. I dont’ think there is anything remotely admirable in pretending that you are not what you plainly are. Brad Pitt doesn’t deny his beauty, and he recognizes the power it has given him. He wasn’t taught to act like he wasn’t aware of it, he was taught to understand and appreciate what a gift it was.
I have gifts, and I have flaws, and I acknowledge both with equal frankness.
I was on a phone personals line and one guy kept sending me that message. I kept asking him why he was taking time out of his day to let me know I talked too much instead of just moving on to the next ad, especially since it cost him money to do it!He finally ended up apologizing for being a dick, then a week later when I changed my ad and he didn’t realize it was me again he did it again.
He was an ex-cop, I think he had some anger issues.
Oh, please. From everything I’ve ever seen or heard, Brad Pitt is remarkably unassuming about his physical appearance. He would never be so crass as to do anything as off-putting as to be openly self-congratulatory about how good-looking he is. Why? Because he knows it’s deeply unattractive. If he expliots his beauty and the fame it helped bring him in the name of good causes – and I agree that he does – he does so in an appropriately low-key way, which includes rarely if ever talking about his own personal handsomeness. “Openly acknowledging one’s positive traits and qualities” reads to others as smugness and self-congratulation, and that’s why people don’t do it. If you so “plainly” are so completely fascinating, you shouldn’t have to tell people so. I mean, surely they will be struck dumb with amazement just to be in your presence.
There is a difference between boasting about your own personal awesomeness and simply standing there silent and letting it radiate off you. Brad Pitt does the latter; you don’t.
For some reason this thread reminded me of an earlier discussion today over in Cafe Society. Anyone want to guess the thread I’m talking about?