[QUOTE=Hamadryad]
Two words: SAND FLEAS.
[/QUOTE]
Two more words: Fiddler Crabs.
One strategically placed pinch from those little bastards makes a case of pubic lice seem like a day at the beach.
[QUOTE=Jodi]
This doesn’t make any sense. Are you saying you are required to be entertaining, and you don’t want to have to be? Or are you saying you are just naturally so darn entertaining that you can’t help but entertain the ones you’re with?
[/QUOTE]
No, no, no. Think of it this way. You’re at one of those speed dating events. You sit across the table from someone and you ask: “So, what brings you to this event?”
The answer: “I’m bored.”
So, he/she came because he/she is bored and looking to not-be-bored-anymore… and you’re the lucky one that’s sitting across the table! So, what now?
You’ve got nothing to work with. If you want to find out hat this person is like, you’ll have to do all the work, and ask all the questions. Which is fine, but if the object of the personal ad is to meet someone, then you’d hope it would be a bit more give-and-take.
Aside from the “I’m happy enough to be with me” (which I think was a poorly phrased way of saying, “if you’re bored, go find something to do”) I don’t think the OP was trying to be particularly boastful. Stoid was just voicing the frustration of hitting balls over the net, when prospective players can’t be bothered to pick up a racquet.
[QUOTE=Cat Fight]
Great OP – I can see why people responded to your ad if it was this witty (is there an ‘I’m not being sarcastic’ smiley?). You weren’t being harsh, either.
[/QUOTE]
Thank you, I 'preciate it.
[QUOTE=Cat Fight]
Answers like ‘Great ad. Here’s my number. Call me’ make these guys about desirable and charismatic as Russian mail-order bride spam. And the ones who read an entire ad then totally disregard its contents (e.g. proposing a fling when the ad mentions wanting to start a family) is just sleazy.
[/QUOTE]
I dont’ know about sleazy so much as lazy. I know that men in general have a much harder time and a much lower response rate overall, so many of them just kinda spam it. They look at the picture, if it’s reasonable, they send a pre-written email. Kinda like direct mail… it’s a numbers game.
Sleazy is dickpix. they don’t shock or offend me, they’re just icky. Besides, the most beautiful dick in the world holds no appeal attached to the Elephant Man. (His genitals were perfectly formed, a fact pointed out in the movie.) Oh yeah, a word about dicks: shaving til smooth is, the vast majority of the time, totally disgusting and strange. Guaranteed to be so if your bodyfat is higher than about 5%. And the reason is simple: it looks for all the world like a vulva with a dick growing out of it. (Which is what it actually is, sorta, but pubic hair hides that fact, as it should!) And i prefer my vulvas with clitorises and vaginas, thanks.
It’s fun paging through the dickpix on AFF to see some of the monster tools, though.
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone]
N
You’ve got nothing to work with. If you want to find out hat this person is like, you’ll have to do all the work, and ask all the questions. Which is fine, but if the object of the personal ad is to meet someone, then you’d hope it would be a bit more give-and-take.
[/QUOTE]
Oh! Oh! You reminded me of another thing… the responses that are something short and meaningless as already cited, and then: “So ask me any questions you want.” or you DO ask a nice broad question like “Tell me about yourself” and they respond: “What do you want to know?”
I am so tempted sometimes to simply say: “Well, it turns out, I’ve learned all I need to and now I don’t want to know anything more. See ya!” Instead I just pull out the line I talked about earlier. Thanks but no thanks and have a nice day.
Last year, the first year I was back in the game after a decade, I gave a whole lotta guys a whole lotta room…and it was, well, not wasted exactly because I learned from it, but not rewarding enough to keep doing it. No one that didn’t spark in their initial communication surprised me later.
I also had the ultimate looks-ain’t-everything experience. A guy whose picture was jsut jaw-dropping reached out to me. His profile was practically blank, I think there was a single sentence, but his picture was amazing. So I met him in the vain hope that there was more to him. FIVE minutes into it, he could not possibly have been less appealing to me than the elephant man. I think I could actually HEAR the wind blowing in his braincase.
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone]
Aside from the “I’m happy enough to be with me” (which I think was a poorly phrased way of saying, “if you’re bored, go find something to do”) I don’t think the OP was trying to be particularly boastful.
[/quote]
I have no idea what she was trying to do. I was and am reacting to how she sounds. I wouldn’t know whether that’s congruent with how she intends to come across.
[QUOTE=Hamadryad]
Two words: SAND FLEAS.
[/QUOTE]
Forget the fleas…just the sand itself. One of those things that sounds a whole lot better than it plays (I put 69 in that category as well. Fun for about 3 minutes, then just awkward and distracting) Every time I see That Scene in “From Here to Eternity” all I can think of is sand in the bathing suits and the sickening saltiness.
The tiniest bit of sand in the wrong spot and ouch ouch ouch…
[QUOTE=Sage Rat]
Well let me tell ya then…
I’m ugly. I gots hair growing outta my bum like someone planted a mop up there. I make people around me miserable. I HATE going on walks. Walks are stupid. Anyone who ever uses the word romantic is stupid!
I don’t want to talk to you. I’m only responding to yer add 'cause my momma made me, and damnit all if I’m not ready to kill the bitch.
Love ya toots, get back to me. 
[/QUOTE]
I’d love to get an email like that! I’d answer it instantly wtih eager anticipation
[QUOTE=Stoid]
or you DO ask a nice broad question like “Tell me about yourself” and they respond: “What do you want to know?”
[/QUOTE]
I’m the type of person who does that, because “Tell me about yourself” is just so intolerably broad a question.
“So, tell me about yourself.”
“Well, my average body temperature is 98.8, I don’t like beets, I’ve never been to Lichenstein, and I’m left handed. You?”
Just out of curiosity, Stoid, what sort of response to your ad would pique your interest? What would show you the respondent is the kind of man you’re looking for?
“Touch my monkey.”
How about “no fat chicks?” Can I still say that? Because for me, that’s like, major deal-breaker…
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]
“Well, my average body temperature is 98.8, I don’t like beets, I’ve never been to Lichenstein, and I’m left handed. You?”
[/QUOTE]
OMG!!! Captain Amazing, that is all true of me too!! Wow, we have so much in common!
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton]
Just out of curiosity, Stoid, what sort of response to your ad would pique your interest? What would show you the respondent is the kind of man you’re looking for?
[/QUOTE]
Any answer that conveys intelligence and some wit, which covers the third thing, being able to communicate.
There’s more beyond that, but this is what I look for in the initial contact.
[QUOTE=Stoid]
Seriously. I find the idea of keeping you entertained completely uninteresting.
[/QUOTE]
Maybe these responses reflect their agreement with you this subject?
[QUOTE=Stoid]
Ah Guin… I can count on you to miss the point entirely. If I was merely seeking fans and admirers, the gentlemen I am complaining about would be just the ticket, woudn’t they? Seeing as how they have nothing interesting to say and they are so complimentary, almost fan-like. It’s nice to be appreciated, of course, but it would be so much nicer to be appreciated by someone I could appreciate in return.
[/QUOTE]
Apparently, I’m not the only one.
[QUOTE=Stoid]
I’d love to get an email like that! I’d answer it instantly wtih eager anticipation
[/QUOTE]
Well if you added 20 years to your birthdate in your profile…
Ah well…
[QUOTE=Sage Rat]
Well if you added 20 years to your birthdate in your profile…
Ah well…
[/QUOTE]
Well, wouldn’t matter anyway…I’d kick you to the curb for your voting behavior.
[QUOTE=Guinastasia]
Apparently, I’m not the only one.
[/QUOTE]
I can count on that, too.
There’s a certain comfort in consistency…
[QUOTE=Priceguy]
Or if they’re like me and like the food from coat-and-tie places but like stretching the limits of the dress code as much as possible at the same time.
[/QUOTE]
So, um, how you doing?
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing]
“Well, my average body temperature is 98.8, I don’t like beets, I’ve never been to Lichenstein, and I’m left handed. You?”
[/QUOTE]
"My average body temperature is about 99, I loathe beets and most vegetables, I consider Texas to be a foreign country and I’m ambidextrous.
I also walk cats for fun, play whirling dervish in my living room to see how much stuff I can knock over before I hurt myself, and have had thirty-seven stitches in various appendages over the years.
Your turn!"
Edited to add: Damn, Jodi beat me to it. Alas. :smack: