Do your feet look like this?
http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f183/docdanz/yourfoot.jpg WARNING: Disturbing Images!
If they do, I can help…
In the benevolent spirit of this holiday season, I have decided to allow the SDMB community to have access to the quite reasonably priced organic foot and skin care products that I have painstakingly formulated and packaged for your health, wellness and aesthetic pleasure. Rest assure, these products do not break the SDMB marketplace rules disallowing “medical” products. These are explicitly non-prescription, non-OTC formulations that include no medical claims of a curative nature (i.e. they simply do what they are supposed to do, I just can’t label claims that they do so, definitively). They are in the realm of organic skincare “cosmeceuticals”, having high concentrations of certified organic ingredients, formulated by qualified professionals (me, in particular), in such a fashion as to have positive and specific therapeutic effects.
You needn’t worry about issues of sterility with these products, either. Although admittedly tempting, I have yet to place the organic ingredients in my bathtub and mixed them with the paddling motion of our pet schnoodle (a small, annoying dog, chosen by my wife, not me)—doing so could be construed as being less than optimal manufacturing practice. No, these products are manufactured at a premiere, FDA registered, organic custom formulation house, adhering to the highest standards of quality control and operational procedures, assuring unsurpassed product stability and efficacy (standards, unfortunately, our schnoodle can’t meet). To top things off, the manufacturing practices are incredibly “green” and eco-friendly—certain to appeal to our predominately tree-hugging SDMB community (I mean that in a good way). Safe, effective, good for you, good for the planet, what more could you want?..(no, you can’t have them for free).
But, SDMB members, I implore you, do not purchase my products for the wrong reasons. Sure, profits from sales would indeed help pay for an operation that would greatly improve the quality of my ailing father’s life (i.e. breast augmentation surgery for mom), and help put food in the mouths of my gaunt children (pre-teen fashion dieters with a penchant for black truffles and Beluga caviar). Instead, purchase my products for one and only one reason: because they are simply the best products in their class and are affordably priced.
I took the liberty of including a few extra categorized items which I feel may be particularly appealing to the esteemed members of the SDMB community. However, please note that I will not pander to any specific group simply to increase sales, including the venerated SDMB membership—my web store treats all consumers equally (unless you purchase in bulk 55-gallon quantities, then you get treated like royalty).
You may now proceed:
And, if you plan on visiting Northeast Florida in the not-too-distant future, be sure to book a service with me, or one of my colleagues at our soon to be open facility, Hands, Feet & Above (act soon, while my services are still legal in most states):
Hands Feet & Beyond
(Website still under construction)