Baker, I’ll take the unpopular position here, and say that sometimes it is the moral thing to do. I had to do that last month with a dog that started to bite and scare the neighbor.
Sometimes, as responsible pet owners, we have to make a choice. We have to balance the animal’s quality of life with our own. Not all of us are willing to make every sacrifice and live unhappily or unhealthily for the sake of an animal. And I don’t feel that it is moral to pass your problem along to someone else, or to let yourself off the hook emotionally by thinking, “oh, someone will adopt him” when it’s really not all that likely. I chose to put my dog down rather than bring her to a shelter or rescue organization once she did actually bite (I was looking at that option before she did). Sometimes, you just have to make that judgement, and if it’s likely that he will live the rest of his life in an unhappy, crowded shelter after exhausting all options to fix the problem, I would support that decision.
It doesn’t make you a bad person to consider this, again, it’s an animal, not a person. Pets have to be of some benefit to you, or else why have them? I think euthanisia is a kinder option than torment for the rest of his life, and it’s a better option than you living unhappily for the rest of his life too.
This would be a good idea if you could do it. It might be hard because IIRC you live in an apartment and that might make it harder. We had to finally allow our cats outside because our second kitty, Lucy, was a marker. She was a rescue kitty and probably wild. She marked everything…“this is mine and this is mine and this is mine…” We could never make her understand that it was all hers. So we finally installed a kitty door from the computer room to the deck and now they have unlimited access to the computer room and outside but only come in the rest of the house on invitation. She basically has stopped the marking behavior but now they love “their room”. Go figure. :rolleyes:
I appreciate all the advice I am getting. One thing, he couldn’t be an outdoor cat, as he is declawed in front. He had another problem once, clawing everything except the scratching post. Nothing I tried seemed to help. I rubbed fresh catnip on the post, I put “stay-away” sprays on the furniture, he still clawed.
I would like to give him a chance, but as has been said, even if I got him into our local no-kill shelter, he likely wouldn’t be adopted. And they do have a long waiting list. And I have decided that Cowgirl Jules is right, I’d just be passing my problem on to someone else, with no assurance the cat itself would ever be happy. So I’m trying to figure out how to ask the vet about euthanasia, I mean, do I just come right out and say, “Would you put the cat down?” The vet is a good guy, has treated the RW for almost four years.
Baker, your vet knows your cat’s history, and if he’s exhausted all the options he’s aware of, I can’t imagine that he’ll be judgemental about your decision.
So yup, you just tell him that: I’ve done all I know to do, nothing is working, and at this point I have to consider euthanasia. I’m sure he’ll take it from there.
It’s a very difficult decision, but I trust your judgement. Everyone has limits.
Hang in there. Email me. Shoot, CALL me if you need to.
{{{baker}}}
Just make an appointment, and when the receptionsist asks what it’s for, just say euthanasia. The staff will understand, and most of the time they’re especially supportive of owners at what they know is a very stressful time. If you’re feeling guilty about asking the vet to put down a phsyically healthy cat and are worried about his reaction, don’t. Even if he disagrees, (which I doubt - after all, he’s seen what you’re going through) it’s not his business unless he offers to live with the cat. I’m quite sure any experienced vet has been asked to euthanise animals for much less.
FWIW, when the day comes, ask if you can pay the bill and handle all the paperwork before the euthanasia, especially if you decide to stay with the cat during the procedure. Trust me, it’ll be easier on you.
Your vet knows you too, not just RW, so I think he will be very understanding of what you have attempted and how you feel. Just ask him, just like you presented it here. Part of being a vet is helping people deal with these issues so I doubt he will be judgemental and make you feel worse. You might want to take a friend with you. That’s your call.
I’m sorry you are going through this and hope we didn’t make you feel worse with all of our suggestions. They were well-intended.
Selkie, I’ll be seeing the vet today anyway to pick up my other cat, who spent the night before having tests, and some dental work. And about the arrangements you suggested, when I had my first cat put down(old, and sick with kidney failure) that’s just what the vet had me do, sign the papers and pay beforetime. I didn’t have the nerve to stay with him but this time I would.
Again, I can’t say how much the advice here means to me.
Baker, you have to do what you have to do, but I would like to mention that giving RW to someone else may not just be passing along your problems. Someone who wouldn’t mind his bad habits, because he’d become an outdoor cat for example, might be happy to take him in.
Don’t forget to ask the vet about meds, but if he/she says no go, euthanasia may be the only way to bring peace, or help him avoid a very unhappy future. Good luck.
I called the vet’s office and talked to the staff, asking them to let the vet know ahead of time I’d like to speak to him this afternoon “about the Road Warrior”. But the vet had had to leave the office at noon, so I asked that if he called in, could they pass along the message I needed to speak to him. Didn’t expect to get a call back, but they must have caught some vibes in my voice, because the vet did call me. I thanked him, then asked if he remembered what I had said yesterday about the cat. He did, so I plowed ahead and asked “In that situation, do you think it is moral to consider euthanasia?” He said he did, and he would do it for RW. He asked if I wanted to be present, because if I did I need to make an appointment. Otherwise I could just drop him off. I couldn’t see doing the latter, so when I go pick up my other cat in a few minutes I will see the staff and make the appointment. I feel I should be with him, as the last thing I can do for him. So within the next few days I will have only one cat again. I think until this one goes I will not get another second. If I have two again, I’ll try for littermates, or animals that were raised together.
The vet said he isn’t going to charge me either, as he knows I have been a dedicated pet owner. I told him that since I couldn’t be sure another home would make him happy, I didn’t want to pass his problems along, and the vet said that sounded mature. I wish it didn’t, I wish this had never happened.
Baker, it’s not your fault. You’re showing your pet more compassion than many humans out there receive. I don’t think anyone reading this or who knows you doesn’t wish the circumstances were different, but this isn’t a decision you’ve made lightly. Too many pet owners are casual about their responsibilities - it’s more than obvious you take this job extremely seriously.
Baker, you are one of the most kind-hearted, caring people on this board. When you called me last year when I was sick with my kidney infection, and scared and alone to make sure I was okay, it meant the world to me.
If I can do the same for you, please let me know. I know you would never have come to this conclusion lightly and that this is so incredibly difficult. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
To those of you who have offered to let me bend your ear, I may need it Friday evening. The appointment is set for 5:00PM Friday.
I will be with the Road Warrior, as I just don’t think it would be right to drop him off and leave him. It’s the price I have to pay for what I’m having done. I’’ bury him in my backyard.
Oh God, there has to be a place for Your creatures somewhere. I don’t think I could bear it if there wasn’t something for them to go to after You put them here on Earth, especially if they have been unhappy. I just wish You would have told us about it, so we wouldn’t grieve so.
Baker, it sounds as though you’ve made your decision, however I will add what I have done…which as far as I can tell, has not been posted yet. If you have the room, they have large cages for cats. I had to keep my cat in there for a few years, and she miraculously stopped peeing on the floor and now we have not had problems with her for years…except maybe once a year. The cage has also been helpful in times when cats where sick and so forth.
My cats are strictly indoor, and to tell you the truth, they didn’t seem to be bothered at all. I put it by sunlight, have plenty of places to jump up and a clean litter box. One cage I have is about 5 feet tall and maybe 3 feet wide.
I now have (because I have room) a St. Bernard cage that I put the cats in when necessary.
Now, I did not keep the cat in the cage ALL THE TIME, just when I couldn’t keep track of her (which, of course, is most of the time).
So, I’m sure there will be people that think this will affect the quality of life for your cat, but I would suggest you consider the cat’s personality…does he basically sleep most of the time? Also, there is the possibility that he will stop that behavior.
Now, my other cat had problems as well, and my solution, though kind of a pain, was to give him 4 very small litter boxes as he will only go once in the litter box. And I use paper towel in the box that I remove each time as he doesn’t seem to like litter at all.
The Road Warrior is gone. My mother drove me to the vet’s office, as I know that when it was over I wouldn’t be much good for driving. It was peaceful, the vet gave him a shot and he just “went to sleep”
What was hard was the trip to the office. Both my cats hated being driven, and on top of this it was a one way ride. I was okay up until mom pulled into the parking place, then I got weepy. But I sucked it up and tried to be stone faced in the office. As he went I asked his forgiveness, and told him it wasn’t his fault, it was mine. I imagine many people know that rather glurgey “Rainbow Bridge” essay. But you know what? It doesn’t seem so syrupy now. I wish with all my heart there really was a place like that.
My wonderful father did me a favor and came by while I was at work today. He dug a hole in my back yard, so I wouldn’t have to. Road Warrior has the mat he liked to sleep on, his favorite catnip mouse, and a St. Francis medallion around his neck. Guess I was embracing my inner pagan, giving the cat things for the next life.
Here’s to hoping he has found his way to a place where he has no more problems, and he can do as he pleases.
To all those who have given advice when I started talking way back about his problems, thank you. Those of you who have offered sympathy and caring, God bless you.
Today I recieved a condolence card in the mail, from the vet and staff. A simple card, on the front it says “We will never forget good friends” The inside has “Good friends stary forever in our hearts. We would like to offer our heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your special pet.” The card is signed by all the staff, and an enclosed slip says the $5 has been donated to a revolving fund the helps treat the pets of owners that need financial aid.
That’s so sweet. I haven’t cried in several days, but I’m a little blurry as I write this. No wonder I like this vet’s office so much.