Since no one thought to buy me a child puke catcher’s mitt, it never occured to me to try to catch the stuff.
To be honest, if there was nothing else available and we were in an enclosed area, I would probably pull their shirt up (like an apron) and try to catch it with that. It’d be a mess anyway right?
I would look around for a trashcan, bucket, bag, cup, diaper, spare t shirt, towel, or newspaper even, and if I couldn’t find any of those things I would tell them to aim low. No one likes to clean puke off the walls and windows too.
My favorite was either a brand new sweater or a white shirt just as I was leaving for work and running late.
Heh. Funny, though. My ex- took the little dude to her place of employment to show him off. Her boss was doing the “cutsie wootise” thing Rez mentioned, and got a facefull of baby barf.
As far as catching it…that’s what wet vacs were made for.
I’ve had the cutsie-wootsie mouth vomit catch. And the “don’t puke on the bed! The floor! The floor!” yell and push thingy.
I’ve experienced the foamy green stomach virus shit all over my white shorts at Micky D’s and I learned early that those snot suction bulbs do not work anywhere near as effectively as the vacuum you can make with your mouth.
No, I’ve never caught vomit in my hands though.
Parenting. A disgusting job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
If you told me before I gave birth to two of the most incredible children to have ever been spawned ™ that I would one day be voluntarily catching vomit in my hands, I would have had myself sterilized.
Then when the Heir to Mr. Ujest’s throne showed early signs of a light gagging reflex at 8 months and could and did puke at any signs of a) not getting his way b) wake up in his crib/bed & realize he was asleep which is such an inconvenience to his social calendar. c) A & B combined, we had to deal with lots o’ vomit. This charming feature on the Heir lasted from about 8 months to about 2 years and was anywhere from 2-6 nights a week. It was never sick related. It was all a control measure. He also throws up if he coughs too hard.
Barf is de rigeur around this house now. And, if he is moderately scared he has hurled too, like the first time we went to the library, he puked right there in front of the librarian. Cleaning vomit up in a public place off of carpet is very much a drag because * no one will help you out at all * and you have to literally scrounge for paper towels and garbage cans. I am now proud to point out the vomit stain on the carpet at the library as a ‘serves them right for putting carpet there instead of tile.’
After scrubbing the carpet countless times, the stomach acid from hurl stains it as if being sprinkled with bleach. When I would realize he was about to hurl I would use my hands or sometimes whip off my shirt because it beat dragging the $300 rug scrubber out *again *. Mr. Ujest and I were like a pit crew with clean up. One cleans the child up , the other the spew. We could get get the job done in under five minutes (rug scrubbing and all) most nights.
The Heir to my throne, my daughter, has only hurled once, due to sickness. She is more like me.
This may sound insane but all in all, I will take a hurling child as a control measure *any day of the week * over a child that throws a screaming fit in a public place. Vomiting lasts about two seconds and takes about two minutes to clean up and it is quiet. Screaming fits and temper tantrums are far messier and inconvenient.
You realize once you are a parent that (literally) shit washes off. My son’s diaper once leaked onto my white pants…my son threw up hours after we moved into our new home (thank God we have tile and not carpet) and once my daugher literally sneezed a cold out of her with the biggest flood of mucus I have ever seen from a 10 month old.
Catching vomit in your hands? Well, I don’t remember that being covered in Miss Manners Tome on Parenting Etiquette, but whatever works. As far as feeling guilty about making a mess…that’s why they have janitors. Clean up what you can, alert someone, and go on. It’s not like you did it on purpose (Prince Ujest notwithstanding)
Don’t worry - if you’re not the one getting “the juice” you get to have a good laugh from it. FunLvnCriminal was watching at the time. While I was whimpering “Ahhhh! Heepp maaa. Dit it tooo goosss!” he was alternately gagging and laughing.
Karma got him back for me. He walked quickly toward me, a serious odor coming from both him and the babe. His arm was covered in poo. Hee hee hee!
Only the fact that the OP was Northern Piper could have induced me to open this thread.
One vote here for “No”. Puke belongs on the floor, period. The parent should try to find something for the kid to puke into (trash can, McDonalds bag), but if nothing is available, then let 'er fly.
But then it’s the parent’s duty at least to offer to help clean it up, or at the very least to go fetch the janitor.
No, no, no! You puke in the bed, not on the floor. Aim for the bedspread. It’s easier to change the sheets than to wash puke out of the carpeting. You just wad up the sheets or the spread (puke and all) and throw the whole mess in the washing machine. Better than picking chunks out of deep-pile carpeting.
Hmmmm. Now that’s one of those comments that could have a few different implications.
“I’ll open it because I know Northern Piper would have a serious reason for asking this.”
versus
“Northern Piper and baby vomit? Cool!”
or even:
[snuffy English academic voice]
“Piper? Oh yes, he’s quite sound on baby vomit.”
Hmmmm. Thanks, DDG (I think).
My niece was begging me for one of the macadamia nuts I was eating. I was a little afraid it would be the wrong size for a 3-year-old’s throat (I warned her to be careful and chew it), and I was exactly right. So I kind of felt obligated to catch what happened when she upchucked it right back at me. Luckily the volume wasn’t enough to cause overflow problems. I just stood there, holding the evidence in my hands and laughing, along with my brother and eventually, my niece. (Then I looked for a bathroom to clean up.)
Two words: Wood. Floor. Other than the noise little wooden train tracks make when dropped upon it, it’s just about ideal for kids. Let 'em make their messes. They clean up easily. When they get past the chocolate milk spilling, projectile puking, potty training disaster age, you have the floors refinished. Easy peasy!
It seems this thread is serving as very effective birth control for some Dopers out there…
Kids = Probably, I’d try other things, but I can understand it.
Parents become immune to all ports of exit, hey, it washes off. She was on a tile floor, but, as a parent that has been in a similar situation I can tell you this: She could have been standing in a bathtub, awareness of surroundings is kind of lost because all of your attention is aimed at your child. Selfless acts such as these come with parenthood (or uncle/aunthood, as was the case for MisterThyristor)
The mum mentioned in the OP loved her child very much.
