I turned into a gym freak a few months ago, and go three times a week for intensive weight training sessions. I deliberately chose not to get a membership at a so-called “gay” gym because at the beginning, I had very little muscle tone and a lot of weight to lose, and I really didn’t want to be on display to muscle queens. I also didn’t want to have to buy a trendy workout outfit just in order to fit in. I wanted a “come as you are” (no puns, please) place where I could where whatever, and where no one would pay attention to me. (And even the YMCAs don’t fit that bill anymore, at least not downtown.) So I joined the gym at my alma mater, and got the alumni rate. It’s mostly straight; there are proportionally just as many gay guys there as there are on campus. Fine with me.
One of the fringe benefits of being gay and belonging to the gym is the opportunity to see a lot of different kinds of men nekkid. (And I have just as much right to be in the lockerroom as they do. I don’t go there to cruise.)
I really thought the pubic hair trimming/shaving/styling thing was only beginning to make inroads into the hetero male population (and less so at the college age), what with the whole “metrosexual” movement. I was wrong. Fully half of the seemingly straight men there do some grooming down there - and you really can’t tell by the “type” of guy - that is, until he whips off his towel.
Fine. Trim your pubes. Shave them off. If that’s what you and your girlfriend/boyfriend prefer, be my guest. It’s your body. Or leave them alone, and go for the classic look. (IMO, the way a full bush frames a package is very sexy. And I also believe if you’re getting hair in the back of your throat when performing fellatio, you’re not doing it quite right. I’ve never had a problem.)
I truly believe that the explosion of the Internet - and with it, the hyper-availability of porn - is what’s behind this trend among straight men. Ten years ago, when I was still a student and worked out at the very same gym - and very few people knew what the Web was - no one but no one at the gym shaved or trimmed. That’s all changed now.
But something needs to be addressed, and that is bad male pubic hair styling decisions. I see them all too frequently. And how can any guy - gay or straight - think these look good, or sexy? Some examples:
The landing strip.
Obviously a take-off of the female equivalent: a vertical strip of well-groomed hair on the pubis, finger-width or wider. On a man, I can only think, “what for? Who’s going to land there?” And when the strip is more like a chunk - basically, just shaving off the left and right edges of the bush to transform it from triangular in shape to a square - I don’t see the point.
Even worse is the Hitler 'stache. Javol, mein Fuhrer. :rolleyes:
The uneven trim job.
Dude, if you’re going to just trim, then buy a pair of clippers and get the length even. You have bush on one side and practically stubble on the other.
The “I have a hairy back and chest, but my crotch is bare”.
I shit you not. The Yeti himself came into the showers. He turned around and I took a quick glance: hair everywhere - everywhere on his body, but a crotch shorn bare. I can’t even begin to describe how ridiculous this looked. Going for the primate look? I have Jane Goodall on the phone: she laughs at you.
The fringe.
You know what I’m talking about. A little horizontal line right at the base of the penis. Either short, or long. Now that is just creepy. You look like a 12-year-old just beginning to sprout. Is your partner a pedophile?
And, taking the cake:
The tiny triangle.
Women do this. Fine. But there’s this one guy I’ve seen maybe twice who has a perfectly-formed triangle about his dick, each side maybe one inch. (I wouldn’t be surprised if he measured it.) This looks like a professional job. I think this guy is gay. So, honey, if you want it to be a symbol of your pride, dye it pink.
Now, having read this, you’d think I spent way too much time in the lockerroom. I admit, I don’t rush. But in maybe twenty minutes getting undressed, showering, getting dressed, and brushing my hair, I’ll see at least two of these horrible 'dos.
The moral of the story? Guys, if you’re straight and going for the “metrosexual” look, consult some web sites. Ask the opinions of trusted lady friends, and close male friends, if you feel you can talk about this kind of thing with them.
This must be stopped.
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