I’ve read that one of the classic modes of infidelity for a married woman is to get pregnant by another man and rely on her husband to provide for the child. (true or false?)
What strikes me as odd about this sort of conduct is that it would require a lot of calculation on the part of the woman. From my understanding, infidelity is (in general) anything but a calculated act. It wrecks lives for the sake of fleeting pleasure.
So what’s the deal?
There have been DNA studies done that show this occurs in many cultures across the world. IIRC, the percentage of such children varies from the low single digits all the way up to 20-25 percent in some poorer neighborhoods in the US & UK.
Of course, without DNA testing, it can be very difficult, if not impossible, to tell if the mother’s spouse/partner is really the father.
What’s the question, lucwarm? How to tell, or do women calculate. Or something else.
Peace,
mangeorge
The question is whether (and how) women calculate.
Here’s a scenario that doesn’t require much calculation on the part of anyone:
Married woman embarks upon affair with [nonspecific] male - perhaps the affair evolves out of a close working relationship with a colleague, perhaps after a reunion with an old classmate, perhaps something else, but in any case, the affair happens pretty much ‘by surprise’ to her - she didn’t go trawling bars or leaving cards in phone booths, it ‘just happened’ - perhaps it goes on for a little while and to be honest, who knows what she is thinking, perhaps not even herself.
Then she misses her period.
Then she takes a home pregnancy test.
Then reality starts to hit home and she returns to earth with a hefty bump; realising the gravity of her mistake, she ends the affair, but cannot bring herself to tell her husband about it.
(OK, there’s some calculation involved in making the pregnancy plausibly the work of her husband, but the infidelity or fact of pregnancy itself needn’t be calculated).
Probably seems a bit of a fanciful tale to imagine that the woman doesn’t really know what she is getting herself into, but people are sometimes capable of phenomenal feats of rationalisation and logical disconnect.
They wouldn’t have to calculate. Evolution could have, in theory, equipped them with desires and urges that would propel many women down such a path.
I’m not saying that’s what happens, only that it’s possible. After all, many of our urges and desires tend to have a very definite effect, even though we do not consciously calculate our actions in order to achieve that effect.
For example, when my body detects that it’s in need of water, I don’t have to calculate that drinking X amount of water will help me by doing A, B, and C to my body, which would be to my benefit. I just get thirsty.
I think the date of conception can be calculated pretty closely, within a week or two, so it would behoove a woman involved with a man other than her husband to “give it up” to said spouse at least every week or so. Of course if he’s not “putting out”, which is pretty common during football season I’m told, she would do well to take precautions.
I’ve yet to see a relationship truly survive infidelity from either spouse when the other knows about it. And the “outside” relationship usually fails too.