Question for parents who allow kids to sleep with them.

I don’t and will never have kids. I did not sleep with my mother when I was a kid. My question for parents who co-sleep: what do you do for a sex life? Just move the kid over and have at it? Or do without sex until your child decides to sleep in their own bed?

I have no experience with this at all, and am nowhere near having kids or a spouse, but I’m guessing you find time during the day, if it’s a priority.

I was not a co-sleeper but I have friends who were and the answer seems to be, locations other than the bed, after the kids went to sleep. Some had future kids rooms already furnished with beds, others were more creative.

The people who I have talked with who do this have told me that they will sometimes use the guest bedroom when the kid is already asleep in their room. Also they point out that at night, in bed is not the only time or place to have sex.

Easy for me - I was a single parent. But I think that, when she was very young and I was breastfeeding, I would have prioritised not having to get out of bed to feed her over having to get out of bed to have sex.

We did it on the floor. Or the chair. A few times on the washer in the kitchen. The shower, except that was usually just the starting off spot.

But for six months now, nowhere.

Also, for some of us it’s not a matter of “allowing” but not having enough space for another bed. There was only the one room. We had a mattress we kept under the bed we’d pull out sometimes but mostly it was such a hassle to move furniture around to get it out we’d all crash together on the bed.

When the kiddos were babies, we put him in the bassinet next to the bed. As they grew older, they weren’t in bed with us every night, and they generally didn’t start out in bed but came in during the night.
Frankly, sex wasn’t happen much when we had babies and toddlers.

We allowed the second child to co-sleep, or rather my ex did. I didn’t mind much, but after the first few months I was kicked out of the bed. As for the sex life, we didn’t have one and she said that’s the way ALL parents are. :rolleyes:

The girls have their own beds now, they are 5 and 3. They will sometimes come to bed with me, and since I live alone I normally let them sleep with me. They don’t usually come to my bed until 4 or 5 in the morning. I figure that since I don’t see them enough I’d rather have them in my bed if that’s what they want.

The 3 year old though normally gets kicked out, she’s always up against me and she has sharp nails.

This is us, too. My son and my daughter typically started out in their own rooms and eventually hopped into bed with us in the middle of the night. Both kids now sleep in their own rooms. My daughter is 2 and my son 5.5.

We had to kick our son out of the bed at 2 and a half; he wasn’t happy about it, but it was time. Our daughter hasn’t slept well with either of us - me, especially - since I was breastfeeding her. And she sweats more than any kid I’ve ever met. We booted her when she was about a year old with few problems.

Wait til he falls asleep then move him to his own bed, do it when he is napping, do it outside the bedroom during time he is with someone else.

I understand most of the sex between my maternal grandparents took place in the afternoon, the notion that a bed might be a requirement rather than one of many possible props is viewed by Grandma as absolutely quaint. It doesn’t seem as if having a baby in a bassinet most of the day or a toddler in the bed at night (which they did, the kids got their own beds when they were about 5) hampered their style at all.

Just about everywhere / time except at night in bed.

Even before we had kids sex was rarely at night in bed since that just seemed so cliché. The fact that emotionally we didn’t think of the bed as “the sex place” may be part of why we were willing to let the kids sleep with us when they were preschoolers. That and the fact that we have a huge bed.

Now that the kids are in their own rooms we have 3 cats who choose to sleep with us instead.

That’s how it is with us and the Firebug, now 4.5 years old. He’ll start off in his own bed, but frequently moves over to our bed sometime after midnight.

Which means that his invasion of our bed isn’t an impediment to our sex life, because if we were having sex, it would be shortly after he goes to sleep, when an earthquake probably wouldn’t wake him up, let alone any sounds of parental sex that might reach his room from across the hall.


Truth. I’m looking forward to some hypothetical future when we have the energy for a sex life.

I’ve found that my wife’s sex drive has dropped way off with breastfeeding, so unfortunately, this hasn’t been an issue for us.

Sex? What’s that? Breastfeeding makes it much harder because my wife doesn’t get enough sleep at night.

We use the other bed, when we do, but between both working and having two toddlers, the frequency has dropped off tremendously.

My three kids have slept in our bed, sometimes at the same time.
Sex was (realtively) simple to plan.
a) Before they arrived. They would fall asleep in the bed and then wander into ours.
b) We would put them back in their beds. They would sometimes return but after enough time.