Thank you everyone, particularly engineer_comp_geek for placing the thread here.
I remember as a new father having the plerophory that the hallmark of good parenting was the amount and quality of worry bestowed on one’s children, and I resolved to not be deficient. For almost a year I worried she would not walk. Then one day she did, and I moved on to worrying that she might fall. When she went out to play I worried that she might be hurt or harmed somehow, and when she stayed in I worried that she wasn’t getting enough fresh air and exercise. I worried that she wasn’t eating her vegetables, and was relieved when at 12 she became a vegetarian, because worrying that she was not eating meat made a nice change of pace. And so on. But while I was busily obsessing over everything that might happen or might not happen, or was happening too fast or not soon enough, I paid too little attention to what was actually was going on: Virginia became a kind and thoughtful and strong young woman, inspiring loyal friendships, learning French and playing the violin, tutoring college-level mathematics, volunteering to help the sad and the addicted among her peers, overcoming a neurological disorder that often hospitalized her, and creating works of art containing depth and beauty and insight and humor.
I am so sorry. Your daughter sounds like an amazing young woman - I wish I’d known her, and I wish even more that she’d had the opportunity to introduce me to her grandchildren. She lived. She made the world a wonderful place in the areas her footprints touched. My heart breaks for you, but I’m also happy that you had the opportunity to share your life with such a remarkable woman. May we all hope for such a eulogy from someone who saw our good points and understood our flaws. Thank you for telling me about your daughter.
I love reading your description of her. She and I had some things in common. Virginia sounds like a wonderful soul. I will remember her, and think about her, and appreciate her, and your experiences raising her, and your undying love for her. I share your grief.
I’m so very, very sorry, King. Virginia sounds like she truly had the heart of a servant, the talents of an artist and the strength of a warrior to help others so much, all while fighting on herself. That’s incredibly rare for anyone so young. I wish I could’ve met her, because the world is a dimmer at her passing. My sincere condolences to you, her nice young man, Will, and all the others that loved her. Please take what little comfort you can from that. It Aline’s speaks to what an amazing person you raised.
Last post from me here. Thank you everyone. No one, least of all Virginia, had a chance to see what she might have been. As for what she was, she was, like any young person, a giant blob of virtues and faults and weaknesses and strengths that I was alternately worried for and annoyed by and mad at and amused about and proud of, and constantly in love with. Right now from my perspective she is a big hole in the world that will require something pretty amazing to fill. I’ll let this thread go now, but again, thank you all
King, I am so sorry to hear this. I am sorry you have to go through this. I am not religious either, but any solace you find to help deal with losing Virginia, take it to the heart. Faith or not, all condolences are valid. Please stay strong through all of this. And keep posting to let us help.
Jeez, how terrible. I’m so sorry. I know it’s been a week (but I missed the thread first time around), and that you said you had made your last post, but in case you check, you deserve to see that your post is still touching people. So here’s my addition. Your daughter’s life mattered. It’s an important thing for the world to pause and regret, and it’s a fucking travesty she’s gone so young. I’m so sorry.
King of Soup, I’m so very sorry to hear this; I offer you my deepest condolences. I know it probably doesn’t help much, but know there’s someone out here that cares and is thinking of you.
Take gentle care of yourself, King