Tell me comrade, do you like snowy mountains?
Have you seen my mukluks?
Are you out of luck or out of mukluk?
Is it live or is it Memorex?
Is the fat lady singing?
Have you shattered any glassware lately?
Isn’t it true that in Soviet Russia, glassware shatters YOU?
Is it true that in America Yakov Smirnoff jokes haven’t been funny for over 25 years?
How does Dagwood keep his shirt closed with only one button?
And why does he never spill any of his massive sandwiches on it?
And what’s up with his weird hairstyle?
Is that a hairstyle, or an accident?
What color would it be if you had not dyed it orange?
Is plaid a color?
Sure it is – haven’t you heard that ZZ Top song, “Just Got Plaid”?
I thought it was called “Just Got Plaited” and was about their beards?
Did you know I saw ZZ Top and the Fabulous Thunderbirds open for the Rolling Stones in the Cotton Bowl in Dallas, Texas on November 1, 1981?
Was that you?
How could you miss me?
Because my gun sight is broken?