Would you be offended if I preferred to keep that information to myself?
So, not getting any, eh?
Is that what you think?
Why beat around the bush? Or, um, are you not, that is, heh? 
Since I have nothing to say on this topic, why don’t we change the subject?
What would Kate Middleton do?
About what?
What’s Watt got to do with it?
Did you miss me?
Isn’t it rude to break into a conversation with a non-sequitur, even if your absence may have been be silently noted and even lamented, and your recent appearance welcomed?
How could we not miss you?
(simulpost)
Would you believe I missed you, but only by a few inches (to the left)? Better luck next time?
So exactly how Prodigal were you, Son?
Is Elendil’s Heir feeling missed?
Wait, what? He’s got advanced neuropathy? Does he have ageusia also?
What do you know about advanced neuropathy and ageusia?
How can you ask such an unfeeling and tasteless question?
I hate to burst your bubble, but are you thinking there might be a reward for clever puns?
Why do you think that’s clever?
Do you know how happy I am that you said “clever”?