Sometimes things transpire in such a way that I get really stressed. Usually it isn’t a single external problem amenable to or worthy of “fixing.” I just have a personality that tends toward the anxious, and it’s like I bank up stress until I feel like bitch-slapping the person closest to me, eating a gallon of ice cream, or both.
As part of my efforts to slim down, and also to avoid the unpleasant feeling that I’d like to rip the heads off my loved ones on occasion, I’m looking to have a list at hand for in-the-moment de-stressing techniques. I’m also keeping some ideas for things that can be coordinated within a few hours or a couple days. I’d love to have things I can do even while taking care of my kids, when a double martini isn’t really in the cards. And I’m assuming those of you who are employed aren’t 1960’s advertising men, so that’s probably a good limit for most people during the day.
Cheap is good too. If we could hire a babysitter, get a full body massage, and order dinner in every day, we probably wouldn’t be too stressed in the first place.
I figured I’d pick your brains, and at the same time share our list with everyone, since who doesn’t need some anti-stress measures?
Here’s what I’ve got:
Instant
Play a video game
Read
Shop for books (cruising the library website and putting stuff on my request list counts, and is free)
Have a cup of tea (I think the English and the Japanese are onto something here)
Five minutes of mindfulness meditation
Five minutes of self-hypnosis
Blow off work that ought to be done, but can wait
Go for a walk outside
and the old standby, deep breathing
Within a day or two
Time alone
Massage (I reckon a neck or foot massage might be inexpensive enough to do fairly often)
Coffee or lunch with a friend
I put the toddler on my lap and sit down behind my computer. One screen plays his favourite Youtube clips. I’ve got playlists, so he will be entertained as much as 15 minutes in a row. In another screen, (I’ve got a wide screen monitor) I surf the web or watch my fav shows. Without the sound, of course.
A stroll through an arboretum or greenhouse. A hike on the prairie if weather permits.
Sitting in a bookstore with a warm beverage.
Browsing in antique stores and letting the wares stir pleasant memories.
Playing with the kittens at the Humane Society.
Going to a motel and paying a couple of bucks to use their jacuzzi.
Going to a fabric shop even if I don’t want to buy anything.
These are all places where I find people at their best.
Another which works, if I have some patience and good will to spare, is going to a care center and chatting with people who have no one to talk to. Gets me out of myself for a while and gives a gift, I hope, to someone who is lonely.
Taking a walk always makes me very, very happy… especially if I take a camera with me and try to find interesting things to photograph. Good for city, good for country.
Go to Grooveshark and listen to “At The River” by Groove Armada. It might do for you what it does for me.
And a cup of hot tea. My gosh yes, that is RELAXING.
I like the idea of keeping an older person company for a while - I’m investigating to see if there’s something along those lines that my 2yo could participate in. She certainly seems to cheer up everyone she meets!
I’m going to check out those meditations (have an iPhone). I have several guided meditations from my MBSR class, but they’re all like 45 minutes long - not something that’s going to happen with my kids around!
Unauthorized Cinnamon, I’m glad you started this thread. I had been thinking about this subject recently, this year being the Year of Incessant, Unsolvable Stress for me. No solutions in sight, you just kind of have to roll with it and try to control the fist of death. Oh and cry your face off a couple times each week, the shower is a good place for that.
One of my favorite stress-relief outlets is watching movies with at least one violent, murderous, psychotic ass-kicking bitch as a female lead. Top choices ALWAYS include Romeo is Bleeding with Lena Olin, and the Kill Bill films as a close second. Not sure why, but I always feel fantastically soothed after watching them. Kind of like some people like, oh I don’t know…It’s a Wonderful Life or something. Somehow the nice warm stories never work for me, I need blood and gore and samurai swords.
Another free stress reliever is completely dorky and fun: I sing along with the radio in my car, at the top of my lungs, using a different celebrity voice. For instance, Ethel Merman sings along with Morrisey or Peter Lorre sings Toni Braxton, Loretta Lynn does Barry Manilow, whatever. Guaranteed to make you laugh when you’re in the depths of the foulest, most black-hearted mood.
I also freely admit to watching that Geico ad with the pig on YouTube for instant hilarity.
Taking your daughter to visit with people could be ideal. That sounds like it would be full of potential. You get the benefit of watching people appreciate her and the ill and elderly sometimes brighten up with a child in the room. She gets an opportunity to see how her presence can be of use to others. And the recipient of the visit has a chance to cheer up. It’s a win-win-win!
orderfire mentions You Tube. Snowball, the cockatoo, strutting to “Another One Bites the Dust” never fails me. What a cocky little cockatoo! Goes with the butt-kickin’ theme as well.
If on the Internet, I’ve got a couple of flash game sites that I go to when blowing off steam–Ferryhalim comes to mind right now; so does Hedgehog Launch.
If not on the Internet… well, you already mentioned going out for a walk. Cleaning/sorting can be surprisingly relaxing, if you’re in the mindset of just switching off your thoughts and following routine.
See how “Play Video Games” is number one on my list? It’s usually Left4Dead2, where I get to shoot lots and lots of zombies. Nothing like 'splody headshots to take the edge off.
BTW, if you haven’t seen it, rent Death Proof (second half of the Grindhouse movies). If you like, dig through the chapters to find the part where Kurt Russell takes the girls for a ride in his car. Then fast forward to the last 20 minutes or so, after the second set of girls borrows the muscle car. That movie is mostly boring as shit, but the payoff is incredibly cathartic.
Oh thank you Maastricht & Unauthorized Cinnamon, for those recommendations. I could start a little library of my personal “spa day” empowerment flicks. Keep 'em coming. I mentioned my violent movie relaxation technique to my mom & she thought I should pitch it to a cable provider: why not start a Murderous, Ass-Kicking Bitch channel? Oh hellz yes!
I’ve noticed that focusing on only what I’m doing at the moment can help a lot. With kids you get interrupted and distracted a lot. When I’m thinking about what I “ought” to be doing, or what I’m trying to get ready for, I stress out, but if I block that out and just pay attention to what I AM doing, it does help the adrenaline levels.
Ah! I thought of adding that. But many people take that in a negative way and say that it just makes them focus on the anxiety.
Mindfulness. It works. Doesn’t hurt to cast a spell or two at the uncomfortable feeling as well. I say something to myself like, “Anxiety, you are poison to my spirit and I refuse to entertain you.”
And then say it again. And again. Personalize that irritating little rascal and cast him over your shoulder.