I have been suffering from quite a lot of emotional stress lately (relationship related), and I don’t deal with stress very well. I was hoping to get some ideas of some small ways I can make myself feel better. I find going for walks helps, as does watching silly, mindless sitcoms, but I feel like I need some ideas for ways to help. What do you do to help yourself in times of stress?
Going for a walk is a good one. Another one is taking a bath with soothing music. It’s weird – even though I normally don’t sit around listening to Enya, forcing yourself to soak in a tub with new age-y music is surprisingly relaxing.
I spend as much time as I can in NATURE. I hike, walk, canoe, anything to get outside and calm my anxieties. That allows me to think about problems and work through them with some logic.
I color. Like with crayons. Except that I have upscale coloring books and use Berol Prismacolor pencils of which there are about 160 colors 
. I usually have the t.v. on for company while I do it. Non-goal-directed behavior is key. Crossword puzzles work well, too, and often put me to sleep, which isn’t a bad thing.
Sometimes, though, calling someone is a good idea, even if it feels like the last thing you want to do. Especially if you can make plans to do something with them at a later point - it gives you something to look forward to.
My sympathies, Ultraviolet. I’m having ended-relationship stress myself. 
Shopping online’s good, too 
.
Play in the mud. I was brought up as a “prim and proper” boy as a kid but there’s somethign so fun about kicking off your shoes, throwing on your holey sweatpants and just wallowing like a pig
I’m completely with jellyblue… I color. I ordered some mandalas, which are fairly intricate coloring designs, from a website for “color therapy”. Usually takes me about 4 hours to color each design, and I just keep coloring the same designs over and over, switching the color schemes. Mat and frame them, hang them in clusters, give them as gifts… and they are really, really soothing for me.
-
Exercise. A lot of times I really need to force myself to do it, because I don’t feel like it. But then I get to the gym, and I have my routine, and I don’t have to think about it. And when I get out, I feel better.
-
Yoga. About two years ago I was in the midst of trying to change careers and was having a pretty stressful time, so much so that I was having trouble sleeping. I had been yoga kind of twice a month, but started going a few times a week. I found I could sleep much better and was generally more relaxed.
-
Get in bed with a relaxation CD. Try to get and keep everything stress related out of the bedroom. If you’re worried about your taxes, don’t work on your taxes while sitting on your bed. If you’re stressed about a problem with your computer, don’t read the manual in bed. But do have other stuff to read in bed, like a novel you like, or a history book. Get in bed, put on a relaxation cd, or classical music or something, and read your book.
-
Visualization. A few weeks ago I was extremely stressed about work, and doing a multi city business/sales trip. I started experiencing muscle spasms, which was really uncomfortable. It kind of got into a frustrating vicious cycle, because the muscle spasms were making me more stressed out, which–as far as I could tell–made the spasms worse. So, I got in the tub in the hotel, and just laid back and visualized that I was snorkeling and floating in the water and looking at the coral and the fish swimming slowly by. When I would get stressed about something, I would just imagine that thing (whatever was stressing me out) on a small rubber raft, and when it came up to me, I would just visualize that I was slowly pushing it away.
For me, it’s watching something like The Brady Bunch or Gilligan’s Island. We had a horrific moving experience once with really unprofessional movers who came 10 hours late to move us around the block and who broke a lot of our good stuff and I sat down with the Bunch and it totally turned my attitude around.
Good deeds and a hot bath. Works every time.
And remember, stress isn’t caused by things that happen to us in life, it’s caused by our reaction to those things. Think about it.
My favorite stress relief is definitely a nice hot bubble bath. Candles, no lights, and a glass of wine. I swear it works every time.
Exercise is another big one for me. It just makes me feel good all around.
I do other things like make lists. Lists of anything. Grocery list, list of things I want to buy, or things I want to do, songs or CD’s I want to hear, etc.
And sometimes I drive around. I love taking a road I’ve never been on before, and finding new parts of the town or the area I’ve never seen before.
Hope you feel better soon.
I had a long, well-written post composed and my crappy ISP ate it. So…short version.
In my experience stress results from refusing to make a choice in a lose-lose situation. You keep trying to find another solution–one that lets you have it both ways–even though there isn’t one. Your thoughts travel the same path over and over (like a computer program caught in an infinite loop) and each time around you come to the point where a decision needs to be made. By refusing to make the decision you amp your stress level another notch and start the process over again.
Lot’s of things can take your mind off of it for a while, but the only permanent solution is to decide! This often feels like the hardest thing in the world until it’s done and then it seems like it was as easy as could be.
It’s sometimes hard to define just what the dilemma is, though. At these times I use the mental trick of putting my problem into words as if I were asking someone for advice. Then I pretend that someone else asked me the same question. I come up with an answer for ‘them’ and then take that advice myself.
This is a piece of cake for me, but that’s because I’ve been practicing for decades. I never get very stressed for long.
Brushing my cat.
Something about sitting down and making him so happy that he turns to jelly helps the stress melt away. I’m betting that the calm, repetative actions are helping too.
Continuing Rich Mann’s mode, questioning myself sometimes helps. I’m stressing about something, so I ask myself, “what’s really bothering you?” Sometimes it’s not the thing I’m stressing about myself. But finding out what’s really bothering me, examining it, deciding what to do about it (if anything can be done) and sometimes talking about it with others really helps a lot. Just the examining the issue helps me deal with it and helps me resolve the issue.
Another thing is exercise. I was really down yesterday, and went for a swim, although I didn’t want to. I felt better after the swim, for a variety of reasons. Concentrating on the strokes took my mind off the reasons I was down, got me tired, and distracted me. Plus did me some good physically, too.
Maybe go rent/see a funny movie?
Best of luck to you - hope you feel better soon.
Movies seem to help me too, or a live sports event.
I just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread Ultraviolet, and I’m sorry that you are experiencing so much stress.
Personally I’m so glad I opened this because I used to LOVE colouring on those posters with the patterns, swirls, etc - and I googled “Color therapy” and ordered a couple of mandala books …
Since I don’t have a fireplace, I pop in a DVD of a fireplace and put on Music for Zen Meditation. (Almost any Japanese bamboo flute and koto music is good.)
There is also a DVD that is structured so that the sound, pulsing of the light and the video images are smoothing and put you into a meditative state or relax you completely. (A search on Amazon should find it. I just remember letters and numbers in the title.)
I agree about the bubble bath. I add scented candles, music, nice soaps, shampoos, lotions and powder. A cup of hot tea, clean bed linens and a good night’s sleep followed.
If you live with others, be sure to let them know that this is serious DO NOT DISTURB time.
Stress is not always about attitude. Sometimes it is related to your body chemistry. If the anxiety continues, you might want to check with your physician.
Comfort books. Old novels, to reread your favourite parts for the umptheenth time. Old comics.
Naps.
When I’m feeling awful, I just go to bed and sleep. When I wake up a few hours later, my outlook is usually changed.
Do something unrelated, and finish it. Relationship troubles? Pick up a brush and start with that overdue whitewashing of the walls. Gather up all shoes in the house and pamper and polish them. Weed your garden. Clean out the attic.
Heck, clean behind the refrigerator. :dubious:
Don’t do something that causes you to slip into emotional reverie, though. When your heart is broken, dont go scrapbooking and don’t go voer your old clothes. Both the process and the results will be depressing.
Besides the usual healthy alternatives like taking a walk, exercising and a hot bath, I like to detach myself from the situation and work on my Dead Pool List.
Don’t laugh. At least I am not a DP Virgin.