Hi - there’s a wasp in the house - I had to leave it there at lunchtime 'cos I had to head back to work … but I’m VERY afraid of them … what’s the best way to get rid of it? I don’t have a fly swatter, and anything more solid (e.g. newspaper) will just push the air & warn it, right? So … any hints??? HELP!!!
RAID!
Something I invented the other day in a beer garden: put a dab of something sweet on the table. Wait until the wasp has landed to partake of the sweetie goodness, then put a glass upside-down over it. Then slip a lit cigarette end (you could use a piece of smoking paper if you don’t smoke) under the rim of the glass and put it back down. Wait 1 minute. Bye bye wasp.
Serve the wrong wine with the fish course.
When Raid’s not handy, I use Windex. Makes it so they can’t fly, then you can smush 'em. Yeah I’m evil.
-Lil
Try this
V
Clever, captain…
How 'bout a good book or magazine?
Well, sure, if you want to give the wasp lung cancer, but I think the OP wants something faster. 
I was going to say, serve gefilte fish and Manischewitz, but Captain Underpants beat me to the concept. Uh, I mean, Amazing. Whatever.
Wear white shoes after Labor Day.
Use the wrong fork.
Announce how much money you make.
Be physically affectionate.
Tell her there’s a shoe sale at Barney’s.
Remind him it’s happy hour at the country club, and highballs are half price.
Send him to tennis camp.
Serve ethnic food.
Argue in public.
I use an Old Fashioned glass and a 3X5 index card. Trap the wasp in the glass against a window. Carefully edge the card under the rim, slowly enough to avoid ripping a leg, then take the glass with the card over the mouth to the door and let it out.
(Probably not for you if you’re phobic, but if you’re only frightened, it might help you get over it when you see that it is more eager to fly away than to attack.)
Although I haven’t had the need to do so for a while, a wasp is pretty easy to grab out of the air. The trick is getting rid of it before it gets mad. Just follow the steps below. (Important note: 2A and 2B are NOT separate steps! You may want to practice the follow-through before trying this.)
- Line up eye-hand-wasp.
2A. Grab.
2B. Throw HARD against an unyielding surface. (Carpet doesn’t work.)
- Stomp and dispose.
Have fun!
tomndebb & jjimm … thanks …
percypercy … windex??? really???
you’ll all be happy & relieved to know that I was able to take advantage of the wasp’s tactical error … it stopped to rest on the inside of the double window, which I promptly slammed shut.
I’m hoping it will just die of natural causes …
There, now you can all sleep tonight … 
I’ve heard that 1920’s style “Death Rays” are great for taking care of wasps.
…
Well, someone had to!
Ow! Stop hitting! Ow Ow Ow…
One word. NAPALM!
Of course, ** Lixitxachitl’s ** method works really well too.
Play some Snoop Doggy Dogg. The Clash works, too, if you prefer punk to rap.
If your WASP begins to `get down’ to any extent, it is obviously a mutant variety, possibly one with children. These can be handled by mentioning how well Tiger Woods has been doing in the most recent Masters’. If done properly, the WASP’s smile will become fixed and his or her eyes will begin to wander.
For the coup de grace, begin to play klezmer music. Loudly. If possible, incorporate lyrics from the latest Snoop CD. The very notion of old Jewish men busting caps in one’s enemies’ collective asses should send the most entrenched WASP towards the nearest country club.
If you get any liquid or oil on its waspy wings, it will drop to the ground and you can take care of it however you’d like.
Or you can get a cat. Cats don’t seem to like being stung by a wasp (singular, just one) but they don’t seem to stop afterwards, after.
Tell him you’re out of vermouth.
I’m told hairspray is a good impromptu wasp defence; it sticks up their wings and they fall to the ground, but it won’t kill them outright, so you’ll still have to be careful how you pick it up (although this is also true of recently-dead wasps, from which you can still receive a sting if you happen to touch the tip of the abdomen).
Quick dispatch is best done by the usual mean of violence: impact or poison.
But there isn’t ever just one. Wasps live in paper nests that are usually on buildings or trees at the 7 or 8 foot level or down by the ground. If you can locate the nest you can wipe them all out.
Wait until 1 AM. This is important. By then all the wasps will be back inside the nest. Then spray the nest from the outside with a stream (not a fog) from a spray can of “wasp and flying insect” spray. Soak the paper nest. The paper will absorb and transmit the poison to all the wasps in the nest. Typically, the nest will be detached (fallen down) by the next morning, and you can put it in the trash and close the bag.
When I was eleven, we had wasps in the dorm building of the camp where I was spending the summer. In June and July, I was a city kid terrified of the wasps. A friend got stung on the leg and his entire thigh blew up. Horrible. By August, I had mastered the technique of picking the wasp out of the air. Wasps, unlike flies, have terrible reflexes. I could (and did) hold the wasp by the hind legs and watch it’s stinger go in and out repeatedly as it tried in vain to reach something to sting. I would let it sting a leaf but it wouldn’t do it. Eventually I just killed the bug.