Quit answering the question I didn't ask you.

The BBQ Pit
1

So I get word at work that two tests need to have a disclaimer page inserted—the indicia that says the state of so-and-so doesn’t descriminate on the basis of race, creed, sex, predeliction for parakeets, whether or not you rub petroleum bi-products all over your body, etc—in the Large Print versions.

The two tests are a practice test, which comprises released test items from last year, and the Fall 2005 test. The Senior Project Director says he wants the covers for the printing company. I shoot him an e-mail, asking if the covers are supposed to be in color. He says no, and be sure to insert the disclaimer page.

Later on, I get an e-mail from the SPD’s underling, saying he needs the Fall 2005 test and the Practice Test. I ask him in email, does he mean just the covers, since that’s what the SPD asked for. He replys and says just covers for the Fall test, but he needs the complete Practice test, and that they DO need the Fall test covers to be in color. Also, be sure to include the disclaimer page. YES I KNOW. That’s not what I asked.

So I go about making the covers in color, which hasn’t been done yet, because nobody asked for it until now. Every possible thing that could go wrong with my computer does go wrong, so it takes me some time to get the stupid covers made. The lackey sends me an email with HIGH IMPORTANCE (with the exclamation point) saying the printer courier is here RIGHT NOW and needs the CDs…

and be sure to include the motherfucking goddamned shitassed disclaimer page. arrrrgh

I finally get the covers made and burn it to disc. I burn the Practice test to another disc. The Disclaimer page is a separate PDF. I title it in capital letters. I also mark it in BIG THICK HEAVY sharpie marker on the CD.

I get another HIGH IMPORTANCE email shortly afterwards. Horror of horrors, the disclaimer page font size is TOO SMALL. It’s supposed to be 18-point, and it’s 14-point. All text in the Large Print needs to be 18-point. I’m sure vision-impaired students who take the test are just like the regular kids: they could care less about the disclaimer, assuming they even knew it existed. The disclaimer is there for CYA purposes in case some parent gets in a pissy mood and decides to sue the State Dept. of Education for discrimination. It doesn’t matter what size it’s in. It just has to be there for lawyerspeak. Oh wait, maybe it’s for vision-impaired lawyers.

So anyway, I have to burn a new CD or by gum, that printer courier person is just going to leave and they’re never going to print our tests.

I never want to hear those two words again.

2

Oh, by the way, Sarah’s in the lighthouse.

3

Don’t forget to include the disclaimer page.

4

You work for Initech?

5

Did you get the memo on the new cover page? Cause I can email that to you again. I’ll email it to you just to make sure.

6

Oh um, Knowed Out, about those TPS reports, um, if you just attach one of those, um, that would be great.

7

Happens here on the Dope, too.

Um, btw, which two words? I didn’t read the whole OP.

:smiley:

8

Are you sure you aren’t me?

I work for a large-scale, standardized testing company as an editor.

You just described any given day in my life.

:: skeeved out ::

9

Hmmmm you might work for one of our rivals. Do the initials MI mean anything to you?

10

Could I have your job? I need one; it sounds like you’re tired of it; I could do it; and it sounds better than most of my jobs. What’s the pay, and is there a dress code?

11

Oh Og, my Mother worked part time for you all several years ago.

She had nothing good to say about it, except she liked the car it payed for.

12

Was this the Tampa branch? I’ve never been there.

13

She was a test reader in the Durham branch about 17 years ago. She told me that she’d throttle me if I were to ever write as poorly as some of the tests she had to read.

14

Heh, it’s not like it’s a titled job I have or anything, but I’ve ended up as de facto test reader for the outfit I work for. Here’s a question I had to edit yesterday:

Q: You enter sensors setup first screen, displaying your system hardware (concentrator / field boxes….). What is the first thing to do ?

A: Scream. Loud and long.

OK, just kidding about the A: part.

15

Ummm… Nope. I work for a company whose initials are HAI. They are located in San Antonio, TX, although I live and work in Florida. (That commute is a bitch! :smiley: )

16

About half-past six next Tuesday.

17

I work in the Durham branch. I haven’t done any reading, but I have scanned some selected samples and wondered how mankind ever learned to walk.

Dogzilla, don’t recognize your initials, so I don’t guess our companies have crossed paths yet. IF WE DO WE WILL CRUSH YOU. :smiley:

Do you guys have FCAT? I feel for you if you do. The big state of Texas must be enough for you though.