I am sick and tired of saving my ass from goat licking nimrods that can’t drive and think at the same time. Get off the fucking road! God invented the bus so that we don’t have to deal with rat squicking cocks that can’t drive between the lines. And whoever the roach queefing jackass is that drives 15mph below the speed limit in the left lane: “Fuck you”
Go lick the chode of a dead rhino you shit eating dickhole!
Whew! I feel better.
Reminds me of the Doobie Brothers’ song Felching Down The Highway. Or something like that.
Hey, Winky…you live in Minnesota, right?
Oh, you don’t???
Than kwityerbitchin…You haven’t met horrible left-late drivers til you’ve been in the Midwest.
And you know, their was a recent proposal to put up signs stating “Slower traffic keep right” (or something to that effect) and that measure failed in the great state of Minnesota 
Sounds like we could be talking about drivers from Saskatchewan. SURE… they are fine as long as the road is straight but throw them a hill or a curve and look out.
You just don’t want to be behind one of them…
preach on brother winky!!!
Must have been through Rockville, MD lately.
In my experience Utah is by far the worst at camping in the left lane. I’ve always wondered if its the church influence, trying to make the trip to Vegas so long that nobody will go anymore.
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
::catches breath::
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
::holds side, wobbles, slowly sits down::
Heh heh heh ::snort:: ahem.
::wipes eyes::
You think you have problems? You ain’t never seen hell until you’ve driven in Kansas City, home of the left lane drivin, blinker not usin, swervin for no reason, gray haired ol’ granny aging as we watch, not knowin how to merge, slow in the fast lane, brakes for no reason, rubberneckin, traffic jam cuz some poor guy needs to change a tire, cell phone yakkin, radio tweakin, off road tires buyin but not needin, 4 wheel drive havin not usin, SUV drivin and ego trippin, Soccer mom swingin hand wildly at back seat brat misbehavin, grand ol’ KANSAS FUCKING CITY. Where the bad come and the worst get worser.
Drive 71 N between the Triangle and Gregory Blvd. Drive 69 N between 151st and Blue Valley Parkway. Drive 95th and Quivera. Drive 119th and Strang Line. Test out 70 W. Try your luck on 291 N.
After your dead neighbors help you to restore your hair from it falling out but it grows too long and you get kidnapped and used for paintbrushes because you went bald (first one to name that movie plot gets a Bullwinkle t-shirt) after your horrifying near death every 35.593 seconds experience, then you can talk about traffic.
You got it easy, dollface. Like buttah.
–Tim
That’s one good thing that Denver does right. You can actually get pulled over here for doing the speed limit in the left lane (you won’t get a ticket but you’ll be told to stay out of the left lane)
Homer, thanks. Utterly brilliant, and hilarious!
You have not seen truly bad driving until you have been to Egypt. I’m not going to discuss it, just give you a little statistic: the accident rate in Egypt is 44 times higher than that in the US.
Kyla - It is a good thing that insomniacs like us are at home in front of our computers instead of behind the wheel.
The movie plot you referenced was “The Peanut Butter Solution.”
Way to much useless info in my brain. 
Damn! Didn’t think anyone would get it.
Email me your address if you want the shirt.
–Tim, homer@micoks.net
Ok, I can see Homer’s point, but that is nothing compared to the idiots in the DC Metropolitan area! We have the reputation of being the #1 worst area for traffic. Can you imagine it taking you 45 min to go 10 miles on the beltway EVERY WORK DAY?! That’s how long it takes wheather or not I take back roads. Add the idiots to that and it becomes pure hell. Talk about an area with so many people’s heads up their butts! Not to mention the shitty way the roads are designed and the stupid way traffic lights are timed.
Ah, now that feels a little better 
First Post, in the Pit no less! Brave soul.
First Post, in the Pit no less! Brave soul. **
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Thanks I figure I bitch enough at my friends, they need a break.
Thanks I figure I bitch enough at my friends, they need a break. **
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this is a fine place to do it.
You people have no idea what bad driving is until you’ve driven the 401 between Windsor, Ontario and the Ontario-Quebec border. Runs through Toronto. Drive this highway and you will meet the worst, most horrifying drivers of them all: Quebecers. There is no aspect of highway driving the Quebec driver does not do in a shitty manner (or, more appropriately, comme de merde.)
SPEED. Quebec drivers choose speeds essentially at random without regard to the road, conditions, volume, or vehicle in question. On a 100-Km/h (about 62.5 MPH) a Quebec driver may assume a constant speed anywhere from 75 to 170 kilometres per hour. There is no rhyme or reason to this; I have had occasion to see Quebec-plated Porsches go 82 in a 100 zone while creaky old minivans go by me so fast they leave fire trails like in “Back to the Future.” Once a speed is selected, the Quebec driver will then oscillate her/his speed between 20 below and 20 above their standard speed. This change in speed is entirely random in nature.
LANE SELECTION. The Quebec driver choose a lane by flipping a coin. Quebec drivers NEVER change lanes on a two-lane highway, for any reason. If they’re in the right and doing 145, by Christ they’ll pass on the right. If they’re on the left and doing 90, screw you. When the highway has more than two lanes they then begin changing lanes, drifting from the extreme left to the extreme right and back again just for the hell of it. (Pour l’enfer de la chose.)
PROXIMITY TO OTHER VEHICLES. Quebec drivers are only marginally aware that there ARE other vehicles on the road, and will happily tailgate or drive close enough beside you to pass you a bottle of Grey Poupon.
As a result, the accident rate in Quebec is substantially higher than in Ontario, by a fairly wide margin. And then they drive over here. Christ, what nutjobs.
Glad I don’t live near the Ontario-Quebec border! My only experience with driving near Toronto was in a tour bus on a high school trip. The driver was lost for an hour trying to find where we were eating dinner. All I could see was people wizzing by us pretty fast.
So RickJay, the question is, how do Quebec/Ontario drivers compare to Washington, DC area drivers? The random speeds and close proximities I can deal with. It’s the bumper to bumper traffic every work day, along with people doing all that crap that is really bad around here! I mean, how are we supposed to get anywhere? At least is sounds like you all can drive fairly fast.
I live in a very small town in Maine, so traffic is never really a problem for me. Canadian drivers are, though. I live about twenty miles or so from the border. While going north on I-95, it’s not uncommom to see some canadian dumbass heading south in the passing lane. Usually they only do this for a few exits before realizing something is wrong, but I once saw some idiot driving south on the northbound interstate 85 miles away from the border. On a very foggy night. I blame it on the trans-canada highway. The stretch of it that I have been on only has 2 lanes, one in going in each direction. Canadian drivers get off the trans-canada, ignore the big “DO NOT ENTER- WRONG WAY” signs, and think nothing is wrong because they are used to traffic going the opposite way in the left lane on a highway. Jesus, but some people are dumb.