Quitting smoking - give me tips!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, I’ve had enough. I’m 51 and still smoking, and I hate myself for it.

I’m about ten cigarettes a day - it was more like 3-4 a day before lockdown, but in the past year I’ve let myself go, and I’m fed up with myself.

I gave up about 8 years ago - I got the flu and couldn’t face a cigarette for at least a week, and when I started to get better I figured I was over the worst cravings so I’d just keep at it. And it worked. I didn’t smoke for about 3 years.

But then I’d have one at the odd party, our if a smoking friend came over, and before I knew it, I was back.

So, I’ve set the day. Not this weekend - it’s my wife’s 50th birthday, and it’s not fair to put her through my bad tempers. I’m going to stop next Wednesday when I’m back at work (in my home office), so have work to distract me, and a normal routine to break.

I don’t want to go down the vape route, and would rather avoid nicotine substitutes in general, and I need to get the nicotine cravings away.

I’m looking for your tips, not your judgement please!

2

Drink lots of water, go to a sauna (probably not possible right now, so maybe take a few hot baths) and do exercise to sweat out the nicotine. Chew something spicy. Avoid smokers. When you feel a craving, do something else immediately (within 5 seconds) to break the pattern. Or have a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you want to reach for a cigarette.

3

I don’t have any specific quit-smoking tips, but I do want to observe that people are vastly different in how they respond to quitting. Some can quit cold turkey without any great difficulty, other suffer immensely and can’t do it without a great deal of assistance. There seems to be a lot of physiological difference in the degree to which people become physically addicted to nicotine.

I mention this because the part I quoted suggests that you may be one of the lucky ones who can just quit and be done with it, without ill effects, because you’ve done it before. That’s how I quit. Just said “this is stupid”, and stopped smoking. Just that simple. It’s been at least 35 years now, maybe more. I have no urge to go back, and in fact even a slight amount of cigarette smoke sickens me now.

4

Try and try again, don’t beat yourself up if you relapse.

You’ve proved you can do it already and looking for what got you started again might give you clues for your next attempt.

I tried many times and only stuck at it when my mental state was right, I couldn’t be “forced” into it by family or friends or arbitrary deadlines (and thankfully no-one persisted in trying to do that) So firstly be convinced in your own head that you are ready to dedicate yourself to it. For me it was just a moment in time when I woke up and thought “today is the day” and it was.

Also, just after I stopped I moved away to a completely different part of the country, away from smoking friends and smoking habits. That’s a drastic thing that’s not open to everyone but certainly trying to change your interactions with old smoking triggers might help.

For me I also realised that social smoking simply wasn’t something I could do any more. I can have a single drink at stop, I can have a small amount of unhealthy food and stop but smoking was different for me so it had to be all or nothing.

I didn’t use nicotine replacements, I went cold-turkey and it was not pleasant but it was very short lived, I got over the first week and never looked back.

All of the above and all the other advice you get will naturally be very personal. I refer back to my first point. The most important thing is coming to that absolute conviction to stop at a time of your choosing.

Good luck.

5

I gave up using the technique taught by an Englishwoman, Gillian Riley. She wrote a really thin book How to Stop Smoking and Stay Stopped for Good that I had sitting around for years before I read it. She is an addiction counsellor and her technique is simple and pragmatic.

Basically she explains that you smoke because you get a buzz out of it. You may have forgotten this and built up lots of myths about smoking but that is why you smoke.

Giving up involved accepting this and dealing with it. No aids are used. I carried a packet of cigarettes and my lighter with me at all times. I took cigarette breaks at work, stood around with the smokers and didn’t smoke. I kept going out to drink with friends who smoked. I told no-one I was giving up. When watching TV I would sit there with an ashtray, my packet of smokes and my lighter and during the ads pull out a cigarette to play with - to stimulate my craving.

It was actually fun giving up. I learned a lot about how my brain works and the system enhanced my sense of self control. Rather than feeling that I had to resist some urge, I learned that I could deal with it and choose what I want to do.

6

I know your example is extreme, but there’s something in it about breaking the routine. Before lockdown, I wouldn’t smoke all day, because pretty much no one at work smoked, so nipping out for a fag break felt dirty. So I just didn’t do it, and didn’t think about it. But getting home was a trigger, and I would get the cravings as soon as I walked in - I would have 2-3 in quick succession. I still never smoke in the evenings after dinner (I think it’s unfair on my non smoking wife), and I’m fine with that, so I just need to find a new mental routine where smoking isn’t a thing.

7

I used to think there were some people who really couldn’t quit.

I knew a guy who was a 4-pack a day smoker. He lit one off the end of the previous one. He’d walk away from one in the ashtray, and get a craving, and light another wherever he was, and couldn’t even wait until he got back to the ashtray.

He wanted to quit, and tried everything– nicotine gum, Smokenders (a 12-step group, IIRC), hypnotism, cold turkey, putting something on his cigarettes so they’d taste bad. Nothing worked.

Then, a few things happened. One was that the nicotine patch was invented. Another was that he hit the birthday his father was when he, also a heavy smoker, died of a massive heart attack. His mother, to whom he was devoted, was worried sick.

So, he did some reading on the psychology of quitting, and put together this plan:

He would use patches, and worry about getting over the nicotine addiction first. Anything he needed to do to deal with anxiety, or needing an oral fix he would do, up to and including candy cigarettes (he didn’t). He did go through huge packs of sugarless gum and Tic-Tacs, and he had a wad of Silly Putty he used to squeeze in order to have something to do with his hands. He literally had something in his mouth, and in his hands, all the time, for probably a year after quitting. He got over the nicotine addiction by stepping down the patches, and was off nicotine in 3 months, without any of the withdrawal he’d experienced before.

He also did this: he got a jar, and every day, he put the money he would have spent on cigarettes in the jar. For the first month, he took it out at the end of the week, and allowed himself to spend it on absolutely anything he wanted (except cigarettes). If he had smoked in the last week, he would have given the money to charity. After a month, he went to keeping the money in the jar for two weeks, then a month, and did that for a year.

He never smoked.

It was probably 3 years before he cut back on the gum and Tic-Tacs, but he said that one thing which helped was brushing his teeth after each meal.

I personally couldn’t believe it.

Now, I think anyone can quit with the right plan, and right motivation.

And just FTR, this was 25 years ago. He is now in his 70s, and says he feels great. He look good for someone in his mid-70s, and he walks everywhere. He’s survived his father by 25 years. His mother passed away about 10 years after he quit smoking. He was in deep mourning for her, but did say he was very glad she did not outlive him.

I’ve never smoked, so that’s the nest I have to offer.

8

I also quit by reading a book, Allen Carr’s one. I see there’s a whole emporium built up around the name now, but back then, I don’t know 15-20 years ago, it was a cheap paperback. It helps to shape your mind into understand why you smoke and why you won’t really “give up” anything when you quit.

It was liberating to gain extra time and the freedom to spend it. In the beginning, I replaced smoking with a short walk or a relaxing stretch and gradually the timeslot faded away. There wasn’t any need to do anything at that exact time, there was nothing special about it anymore.

In my case it did help to define some boundaries, in my case: “I won’t smoke at work” and “I won’t smoke in the house”. The going outdours to smoke turned into “why bother?” once you understand why exactly you keep smoking.

Still after all these years, I can get a craving after a particular greasy dinner, say steak and fries with lots of ketchup. But it fades away quickly enough.

9

Go get some drugs. Wellbutrin worked for me, Chantix has worked for several people I know. Stop torturing yourself, and I hope you kick it.

10

I smoked all my adult life, and then met my future husband who had quit maybe five years prior to that. I was motivated to quit for him, so my plan was to quit the night I spent the night at a sleep clinic to diagnose my sleep apnea. I smoked my last cigarette outside the clinic in the smoking area, then gave my pack to another smoker.

I didn’t get any sleep (!) and went to work anyway. At lunchtime I couldn’t take it anymore, and went home. I ended up sleeping that afternoon and through the night. I got through the next couple of days by sleeping a lot, and when I finally fully woke up, the worst of the physical cravings were over! (I had VERY bad apnea, and sleeping was very easy to do. I got my CPAP machine a couple of weeks later.)

Smoking was allowed inside in lots of places back then, and I didn’t go to bars for about a month after that. When I finally went back, it wasn’t so bad. I just quit! For eleven years.

Then I’d get drunk, and have a puff off someone’s smoke (Eww! COVID cooties! :wink: ) Then bum one. I tried to hide it from my husband. :smiley:

Then I broke down and bought a pack, and listened to my husband bitch at me for FOUR years! I finally decided to set a date to quit again. May 19th, my mother’s birthday. She died in 1989 from complications of bypass surgery, the blockage most likely partially caused from smoking.

I just did it. I agree with the poster above. It’s a decision. Oh - I had stashed a half-pack of cigs, and about a week after the quit date, I lit one and smoked about half of it. I threw it away in disgust. It was HORRIBLE!

The panic you get from thinking about quitting is 1000 times worse than actually doing it, IMHO. Good luck!

11

Smoking is largely a psychological addiction. I said ‘largely’ (not completely). People come to associate it with certain actions. Drinking alcohol & smoking is a big one but the need can have many triggers; coffee, after food, talking on the phone . . .you get the picture. You may need to cut out, or at least cut back on your ‘trigger’ activities.
Quitting may make for an uncomfortable & restless few days, but put into perspective it’s nothing like quitting alcohol or narcotics, both of which can make you so physically ill you think you’ll die (and quite possibly could).
Little tricks like chewing gum and the various ‘stop smoking’ products out there may assist somewhat, but for the most part they just put money into someone’s pocket. The desire has to be there. No one on this forum or any other is going to do it for you.
Good luck! And think of all the extra money you’ll have!!

12

Just stop. Every time you get the urge, just say “No” to yourself, and wait until the next urge.

Te initial stage is the toughest part. It gets progressively easier and easier - but I still have the occasional urge some 35 yrs later. When I do, I just say “No”, and it passes.

You’ve proven you are able to get over the initial part, so the problem is entirely your own lack of will power. And you’ve proven you are incapable of experimenting and keeping to the occasional smoke. So just admit as much to yourself.

To me, the difference between 0 and “just this 1” is HUGE. Much bigger than the difference between 1 and 100 or more. So once I’ve amassed some period of continued abstinence, I am able to say that I’m more interested in “continuing my streak”, than whatever curiosity or enjoyment I’d satisfy/get from trying one. And I’m self aware enough to know that I’m unlikely able to just stick w/ the occasional smoke.

I have the same attitude towards drinking - 15 or so years sober. I’d like to think I could have just 1 beer w/ friends, but I know that if I let the ZERO crack, at SOME point, I’d get shitfaced. Experimenting is just not necessary, and not worth the risk. Before I quit, I proved myself extremely adept at lying to myself when I tried moderation.

Sorry of this sounds hard. But quitting is tough. You have to want to do it, and be honest with yourself. But once you get to that point, it is definitely doable. But it likely will require a lifelong effort.

13

Oh, yeah-- I forgot about those. A coworker had a minor heart attack, and was ordered by her doctor to stop smoking, or find a new doctor. Now.

She hadn’t planned to quit, and five minutes before the heart probably would not have. But with Chantix was an ex-smoker in seven weeks, and very happy about it, especially since she says she now realizes how much smokers stink.

14

Chantix. Two months of taking it cured me. Like you, I also really wanted to give up so that helps.

I took chantix for only 2 months and then I quit smoking and I quit chantix, both.

I have not puffed once since and that was 8? years ago. I don’t keep track.

15

That was me too. For me, it was the smoking routine: unwrapping the pack, taking it out, lighting it, offering round…

The best advice above is to avoid smokers and places where they hang out.

16

I think a lot deals with your self image.

Do you like to think of yourself who is able to make decisions and exercise self control to stick with them? Or do you view yourself as someone overly swayed by other people and factors?

At the time i stopped, it pissed me off that I only really ENJOYED maybe 2-3 cigs out of the 2-3 packs I smoked each day. The rest of them were simply habit. And I didn’t like that some unhealthy inanimate object had that sort of control over me.

I also remember that at the time I spent quite a bit of time in bars, and realized that when I wasn’t smoking, I didn’t know what to do with my hands. But once I realized that, I was able to decide that I didn’t need to be fumbling around w/ a cigarette or any substitute.

But the key point is, you really have to WANT to quit. Because if you halfass it, the smokes will win.

17

Congratulations on your decision to try. As an ex-smoker, with many stopping attempts, I think I may have tried everything available. Accupuncture, wellbutrin, chantix, patches with not much success at all.
I started first limiting where I smoked. No smoking in the car, then in the house, then anywhere indoors, (dog got lots and lots of walks during that time!) During the times that I tried and was really not ready, I found myself following people in the street so I could smell the smoke that drifted from them,…Ugh…so pathetic.
One morning I went outside with my coffee and cigarettes. Lit the cigarette, after one puff decided I did not want it. That was my last cigarette. February 28, 2001.

You asked for tips: The one tip that REALLY worked for me was/is:
When I felt the urge to smoke, I took very deep breaths, hold the air in for a second or two and exhale. Two or three of those took the urge right away. Once or twice a year (yes, 20 years later) the urge appears and the deep breathing helps.

Something missing in your hand? hold a pen, that worked for me too
I drank lots of water, hard candies, walked a lot (holding that pen).

After a week of no smoking, smell your coat. That is what you have really smelled like all those years…Yuck! (I was so embarrassed by that!)

I wish you luck, you can do it.

18

Don’t know why you “don’t want to go down the vape route”. I was a 2 ½ or more packs a day smoker for 42 years and quit when I started vaping 10 years ago. Vaping made it easy, no stress, no weight gain. I couldn’t walk up the cellar steps without stopping for a breath; within a few weeks I was hiking in the mountains and going on regular 12 mile bike rides. Glad I make the switch. I now have no urge to smoke, none at all.

19

Personally, I found I felt better if I had a pack of cigarettes stashed somewhere. I wasn’t going to smoke them, but just knowing I had them and they were there made me a lot less nervy about it.

I haven’t smoked a cigarette in at least 6 years but I still have that old-ass pack stashed in the cabinet above the basement stairs. I honestly wouldn’t have a problem just tossing it, but at this point it’s more of a trophy than anything else.

20

That is so true. When I stopped I had one unopened pack, and 4 cigarettes left in the opened one. I kept both, eventually tossing the opened pack. I still have the full one, in the kitchen junk drawer. I was like a security blanket for me, and now, as you say a Trophy.