“Just milk for me.” WC Fields.
“I always thought Camilla was the perfect love match with Charles.” Diana, Princess of Wales.
“The Dandylions are in bloom again.” Katherine Hepburn
“Frankly, Scarlet, I don’t give a rat’s ass, you cheap coniving pampered lazy spoiled useless bitch.” Rhett Butler.
“Lady, please! I’m a married man! It wouldn’t be presidential!” - Bill Clinton
“Hi. Do you folks mind if I tag along with you on your pilgrimage to Mecca?” - Salman Rushdie
“We can’t cure the social ills of our country simply by setting up new government bureaucracies and/or throwing more money into old bureaucracies that haven’t done anything except make said problems more entrenched.” - any liberal
“Ladies, please. I know I drive you crazy, but you can’t mob me all at once like that.” - Me
“In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18
“Enright3 you make me so hot, I want to have your baby!” - neuro-trash grrrl
“This is just too personal to share” - Satan
“Dad, I cleaned my room, and did my chores. Do you mind if I stay home this friday and clean the kitchen too?” - any one of my three kids
“Let me give this problem to someone else, you have enough to do” - my boss
“I respect your rules knowledge, and your judgement” - any of the NCAA coaches that I’ve umpired a game for
“Honey, I’m tired of spending money” - The spousal unit
“I’ll have five number 1’s with five Cokes” - the wife again, ordering at McD’s… some of you know what I’m talkin’ about!
“I’m Sorry” - me (according to my wife)
Enright3
Star Trek Quotes You’ll Never Hear:
“Bones, you crack me up!” - Cdr. Spock
“No more coffee for me, thanks” - Capt. Janeway
“I’d like a Scotch and soda.” - Chekov
“I’d like a Vodka and tonic.” - Scotty
“Boy, I’m glad I managed to avoid that nymphomaniac alien.” - Capt. Kirk
“Double as a security guard? Well, I’m not trained for it, but I’ll give it a shot.” - Dr. McCoy
“Avoid those Delaney sisters. They’re just teases.” - Ens. Paris
“Trick or Treat for UNICEF? Here’s 5 bars of latinum.” - Quark
“Sure, he’s handsome. But those pointy ears kind of freak me out.” - Nurse Chapel
“I’d better stay out of the crew’s way. I’m just a little kid.” - Naomi Wildman (or Wesley Crusher)
Judges 14:9 - So [Samson] scraped the honey into his hands and went on, eating as he went. When he came to his father and mother, he gave some to them and they ate it; but he did not tell them that he had scraped the honey out of the body of the lion.
" Honey, I’ve made you a nice, hot, nutritious meal." Me, to Mr. Ujest.
“I love cleaning toilets.” Me.
“Oh, please, I’d love to see another movie about asterroids and armaggedon.” Me
“As soon as I chop my dick off, I’m gonna shove this red hot poker up my ass!” –A quote you’ll never hear. Ever. EVER. from an old George Carlin routine.
OK, let’s see what quotes I can come up with…
“Fuck it. I just don’t feel like proof reading my posts today.” --Byzantine
“Lower taxes? Increase benefits? AND balance the budget? God, I’m so full of shit, I don’t believe myself!” --Any presidential canidate
“We can’t show that. I refuse to pander to the lowest common denominator.” --Ted Turner
“It’s true. Canada does suck!” --CanadianSue
“Ok. I confess. I’m really Neuro Trash Girrl.” --Cecil Adams
“I love you guys.” Alphagene
“There is a lot to be said for being barefoot and pregnant.”-- Gloria Steinem
“U.F.O.s, Smu F.O.s. I’m getting a stripper and a bottle of Cuervo.” --Fox Mulder
“I didn’t inhale. But boy, she sure did!” --Bill Clinton
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
ok here goes mine…
Oh wait! Let’s plan and execute this in an organized fashion. the company I presently work for.
oh my…your mountains really are bigger than mine… Canadian Sue
No thanks Sue and PCW, I think partying with you two would bore me to tears. Moosiegrl
I think I will fly to Amarillo for that free steak meal. Opalcat
I will just go kill myself now cause he doesn’t love me anymore. me.
Turn that Reggae shit off dammit! I can’t stand that music. Sealemon
There is no way I am getting naked and frolicking in that fountain. Democritus
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
“But government is supposed to provide for people’s needs.” - Libertarian
“As I was saying in my Gaudere persona…” - Andros
“Free and open intelligent discussion on important issues with a minimum of administrative management is the right way to run a board.” - M. Bagnall
“You know, you Christians do have a point.” - slythe
“The trouble is, you believe all these wild claims. You need to exercise some proper skepticism.” - Krispy Original
“No, I don’t remember every drunken word someone ever said in chat!” --Doobieous
“What would you do with a drunken sailor?” --PCW
“Oh, so you’re having a bad day? And!!!” --CanadianSue
“Nah, I’m too tired to go dancing tonight…” --Psycat
“Macs? Ha! They SUCK!” --Sani
“Dude, do you want this last beer?” --Dirty Devil
“Hey guys, how do you insert pictures using UBB again?” --Opal
“MaxTorque? Heh, what a pussy!” --Falcon
“I would prefer Val thank you very much!” --VBlaise
“I don’t know very much about that…” --Dr. Fidelius
“I don’t have an opinion on that…” --Phil
“I don’t know.” --Cecil
“It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”
Excuse that last one…I’m a moron!
No, sir, I prefer to express my contempt and dismay for this situation with wit, wisdom, and a splash of sarcasm rather than with my fists- Any Jerry Springer guest
Then Holley held Miss Spider’s hand…
I’ll say no more, you understand.
For private moments between spiders
Should not be witnessed by outsiders.
-David Kirk- Miss Spider’s Wedding
“I hung around the house in tattered sweats and an old grubby t-shirt all day…it’s so nice to relax once in a while, y’know?”—Eve
Omigod, Chris, did I used to date you? I had one boyfriend who was totally taken aback with the fact that “casual” for me is a sweater & skirt and slingbacks.
My own choices:
“Did anyone hear that great new Yanni tape?”—Ukulele Ike
“Yeah, Ike, I got a copy for Alpha, too!”—SaxFace
“Praise Jesus—Yanni is recording again?”—David B.
“Praise WHO?”—ARG
“I’ll run out and get it after work on Friday!”—CM
“Can’t get it myself—spent all my money on cigarettes . . .”—Eve
goin’ to hell for this one:
“I take thee, Heatherlee, to be my lawfully wedded wife…” – Satan
Omni: You are right twice in your post. You’d never hear it, AND you are, indeed, going to Hell.
As always, we appreciate your patronage…
Yer pal,
Satan
“Cutting and pasting a dictionary entry would be completely inappropriate.” --handy
We gladly devour those who would subdue us.
“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Polycarp.”–Gaudere
“Shove it up your ass, you idiot atheist.”–Polycarp
“You know, this topic has no bearing on the Libertarian philosophy at all.”–Libertarian
“I know it’s true because I feel it in my heart.”–David B
“My life couldn’t be better since I finally accepted the Truth I was denying and let Jesus into my heart.”–Sake Samurai
“It’s like I always said…there’s nothing an agnostic can’t do if he really doesn’t know whether he believes in anything or not” --Monty Python, “The Meaning of Life”
“Hey, th :)se smiley things are cute!! H :pw d :rolleyes: y :eek:u make them?” - Chief Scott
“I would have thought the President had a larger staff.” - Monica Lewinsky
“Just let it be. We’ll only cause more division if we over-react.” - Jesse Jackson
“That Hillary may be headstrong, but she sure is a babe!” - Anyone. Ever.
“At first I just wanted to see if it could be done. Then it was all about the money. Wasn’t that obvious?” - L. Ron Hubbard
“Buy, buy, buy! This bull will be running as long as we all shall live!” - Alan Greenspan
“OK, I am a crook.” - Richard M. Nixon
“It doesn’t always have to be about sex, you know.” - Sigmund Freud
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
Fred Phelps - “I take thee, Jeffrey, to be my lawful wedded husband…”
Calista Flockhart - “Can I have seconds, please?”
John Rocker - ::cue Green Acres theme::
New York is where I’d rather play
I’ll take Manhattan any day
I always found those rednecks dumb
Ted I love you but give me Shea Stadium
Tobacco company exec - “I don’t like this new ad campain. I think it might have the unintended effect of encouraging young people to take up smoking.”
Network programming exec - “We’re going for a fresh approach in this Fall’s new season…with lots more minority representation.”
Stephen Hawking - “Let’s see…15 + 28…carry the 1…uhhh…”
Emeril Lagasse - “Gimme a Big Mac, large fries, and a vanilla shake.”
Martha Stewart - “Here’s a pattern for a nice Easter theme outfit for your concrete goose.”
Howard Stern - “You’re a lesbian? Ewwww, that’s just gross!”
Jack Kevorkian - “Cheer up, buddy, things will get better.”