“You know what? You’ve got spunk.”
“Well…”
“I hate spunk.”
Speaking of Rachaelisms, nobody mentioned the “G.B.”–garbage bowl for peelings and and unwanted cuttings.
There are way too many of those, but it’s nice to see someone cut into Martha Stewart’s territory a little bit.
Giada is pretty attractive, but she’s kind of skinny, and her head(pretty as it may be) seems about half a size too big for the rest of her.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t bang her like a cheap drum, given half a chance…
I will admit that every time I’m watching the Food network and Rachael Ray talks about EVOO, I keep thinking of alternative uses for that olive oil!
Yeah, she’s got freakish proportions…wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers, but I’d definitely take Nigella over her.
You may think Rachael’s cute as a speckled puppy but she doesn’t know didley-squat about cooking. Any respected chef changes the channel when her show(s) comes on.
MsFancyPlants: She’s not fine dining, she’s “get home from a long day at work, and make a simple family dinner in 30 minutes.”
IMO she’s hot as hell, and my wife has caught me drooling. But the laugh turns me off in an instant. The 2nd little laugh makes me want to hurt her. I agree with the mute button comment above.
I have to echo the sentiments of my fellow Doper (can’t remember which thread, don’t want to bother the hamsters with it) who said that Rachael’s upper body looks like a teenage boy with two halves of a tennis ball stuffed in his shirt. She’s reasonably cute, but the torso is ill. 
Her recipes are the worst. It’s not even a matter of fine dining versus quick meals. She goes for recipes that are based on chopped hot dogs. What she calls healthy is actually very high in saturated fats. Hambuger salads??? wtf? she’s just trashy. She doesn’t wash her hands after handling raw meat. And as far as 30 minutes goes, sure it works if you have somone doing the prep work for you. They get rid of actual talented chefs who do a good job of teaching/explaining and give Raytard multiple shows!!! At least Alton is still on.
Giada is one of those lollypop people, giant head on a little, bitty skinny body.
And I always refer to Rachel Ray as “Squeeky.” She’s cute as heck, but I’m not sure how long I could listen to her squeeking.
Does anyone actually watch her show for the food? I mean, are you actually thinking, when you watch, “Oh yeah. I’m droolin’. I just gotta make me some of that cucumber-and-Guldin’s-spicy-mustard salad right now before my 30 minutes is up, baby!”
Because, if you are, you are sadly, sadly missing the point. We watch her make the food, and eat the food, but we don’t actually care about the food. What’s all this chatter about the quality of her recipes? How is that really relevant? I don’t even really register what she’s doing. Here’s what I know: Rachael is a) super cute and b) more annoying than a shin-humping poodle on whip-its. How did we get off on this “recipe” tangent?
I have to go with Giada over all others. Giada is to Ray what Guinness is to Pabst Blue Ribbon.
I have mentioned what I am about to say to several friends and they all agree with me.
Do you think Rachael Ray was a cheerleader in High school?
Everyone I have asked has said that there is no doubt.
Now I don’t know about you, but I am picturing RR in a cheerleaders outfit with me and a bottle of EVOO. If you catch my drift. 
Here recipes are not all that bad. I have made some and they can be damn good.
Perhaps a Nutella spread on Nigella spread ?
I am so going to hell with that one.
Y’know, I’m really not sure if smearing EVOO all over Rachael, as tempting as it sounds, would be be all that pleasant. The odor’s rather strong, and the taste, while delicious in conjuction with other flavors, is a bit much all by itself. Whipped cream is fun, but it gets sticky. I assume sticky is not what an oil-user is looking for. Canola oil? Bleah. An interesting conundrum.
I used to – I even bought one (two, maybe?) of her cookbooks. She did have a few good recipies, that are quick and easy, and good food. Now she’s all “sammys” and “hamburgers with crap cooked inside them”. The latter is especially ugh-worthy, because by now she’s almost explained that stupid “divide it into quarters so you can make same-size burgers” more times than she’s told what EVOO stands for. Now, when she comes on, the TV goes off.
I watch Ina Garten and Giada de Laurentis for their food. Ina’s food is fabulous, although not for the weight conscious (explaining how she’s gone from plump-but-handsome to just plump, over the seasons); and Ina only annoys with that fake “heh-heh-heh” laugh of hers.
Giada’s recipies have never been bad when I’ve tried them. Some were outstanding (arancini di riso!). And she’s damn good looking, even with her lollipop head. If she’d just stop with the fake “sphaaageeeteee” pronunciation.
Nigella, of course, is just awesome, but lately hasn’t made anything I’d want to make. I miss “Nigella Bites” and “Forever Summer.”
Rachael Ray - Bitch giggles like Betty Freakin’ Rubble! She just annoys the hell out of me, and while she’s not unattractive, she’s just not hot either.
Giada - Huge head. Very distracting. Can’t deal with that.
Ina - Something about that woman makes me want to slap her. I think it’s the time she went to Paris, and the whole episode was about how she loves to go to Paris and sit in the bistros and eat french bread and listen to discussions about politics and art and blah blah blah blah blah Oh here’s a recipe or two.
Nigella - Mmmmmmmm. Mmmm. Nigella. I love Nigella. I’d completely go girl-gay for her. And she’s got balance. It’s not always about the trashy junk food, but she’s also not always about the super-healthy or massively chic foods. She cooks a lot of different stuff, that I could see myself cooking.
Alton - I don’t see the massive love. He’s funny and has some good recipe ideas, but definitely not teh hottness.
James Martin - Now I can see the love for him. He’s hot, and from Yorkshire which is a doubleplusgood in my books. Plus he cooks awesomely.
Jamie Oliver - Good cook, I’ve got some of his cookbooks and I use them a lot. Kinda cute but more annoying nowadays.
Tyler - Hubby says I’ve got a crush on Tyler. I do not. I just enjoy watching Food 911. He makes cooking easy, honest!
I’ve never seen either of them in motion on TV, but I just googled Nigella Lawson.
:: breaks into sweat ::
:: may not be able to sleep ::
And she’s around my age, too. 
Iron Chef America
Flay/DeLaurentiis vs. Batali/Ray
Nov. 12
If it got too bad I’d just slap my dick in her mouth. I’ve got a DVD with a bunch of Food Network shows on it and hers is one. I’ve seen it a couple dozen times, I suppose, and yet, I have no idea what the hell she’s cooking. She starts in on the recipe, and then, suddenly, I’m all distracted and, well, everything gets done.