*A Black Guy and a white guy are standing side by side at a urinal. The white guy asks “How do you blacks get such big dicks” The black guy say, it’s cause of the way we fuck." “How’s that” asks the white guy.
“Well you put it in really fast, and then pull out really slow”. The black guy says. The white guy says “Well, how long does it take before it’s noticeable”. “Oh a couple of times” says the black guy.
The guy hurries home to try out his secret. He sleeps with his wife Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Saturday they’re laying in bed and the guys feeling pretty smug. He say’s "Honey, you notice anything different during our love making lately. The wife says “Yeah, you fuck like a ni**er”*
Remember the episode of Good Times where J.J. dreamed he was white?
The stereotypes were hysterical. He got up, pulled on a turtleneck sweater, asked for some Eggs Benedict for breakfast, and when somebody asked him to do something “black” he replied, “Surely you jest!” I wish I remembered more of 'em.
I think that it’s really interesting how people are puzzled over the fact that there are so few generic white' jokes, as compared to Polish jokes, Jewish jokes, Irish jokes, ect. The assumption that white people’ is a monoculture is a mistake to begin with, though I often find white people making it.
Personally, I tend to think of any joke where race isn’t specifically mentioned as a “white joke”. I don’t know if any of my fellow whites noticed this, but when another white person talks to you about someone that he/she knows and you don’t, and doesn’t specify the race of the person being discussed, you assume this person is also white? I just began noticing this, during a conversation with a friend. She kept referring to “the black guy next door” rather than “the guy next door”, because she obviously thought I would assume that the guy was white if she didn’t clarify it. I gotta admit, I WAS thinking that the person mentioned was white. I don’t know if it makes me a racist, but does anyone else do this?
My contribution to the “white” jokes (Note that no race is specified… just out of curiosity, did you catch yourself thinking the guy in the joke is white?)
Did you hear about the dumb bank robber?
He tied up the safe and blew the teller.
I’ve heard millions of “white” jokes from black standup comics, but never any that struck me as “racist” or even deeply offensive. They always fall into the “white guys can’t dance,” “White people talk funny,” or “White guys are geeky” category.
While anti-Jewish jokes or anti-black jokes can be truly offensive (making light of slavery or the Holocaust), most “white” jokes told by black comics are surprisingly tame.
Maybe that’s because even black comedians want to “cross over” and attract some white fans. Or MAYBE black people only tell genuinely offensive jokes to each other!
A book was recently published about racial fallacies black and white people hold about each other…the author was a woman, it was reviewed (unfavorably) last week in the NY TIMES…and I’m sorry, but I’m DAMNED if I can remember the title, and I just spent 20 minutes in Amazon.com looking for it.
According to the author, these are some of the things black folks like to think about white folks when they’re in the mood to feel superior…feel free to use them as the basis of fresh new jokes about ofays!
White people have dull sex lives (this one has been used in most of the preceding jokes)
White people do not enjoy themselves at parties. Parties attended by white people only are excruciatingly boring.
White people are unable to dance gracefully.
White people consume a bland diet.
White people are unexceptional as athletes.
White people perform and enjoy listening to perfectly terrible music.
With the possible exception of Ike’s last post and those involving WASP, where or what is the the stereotype for a typical white person? Most “humor” revolves around a universally accepted (albeit not true at all) stereotype that is geared toward: (1) races (blacks, Latinos, Native American, Asian, etc.);(2) Nationality (Polish, Irish, Scotch, French, etc.); (3) sex (male, female, homosexual, bi, etc.); (4) hair color (Blondes :D); (5) Vocation; (6) Religion; (7) Locale (New Yorkers, southerners, Texans, etc.); and (8) People who do a particular activity (Golfers, drivers, shoppers, etc.)
Note with each of these there are common characteristics that immediately come to mind…dumb this, stupid that, money grubbing, theiving…whatever. Soooooo, where is the “just normal white guy” stereotype that doesn’t branch into one of the others? Just curious!
My favorite all-time “white guy” comedy routine was an SNL sketch in which Eddie Murphy (who had come back to host the show) put on “whiteface” and spent the day as a white man. Absolutely freakin hilarious.
