Raising Teens is like nailing Jello to a tree

The 17 year old has been bugging me for a year to get a tattoo. I said “no” till I was blue in the face. He even tried tactics like “It will say Mom and have hearts” NO ! NO! NO!

Well I walked into the livingroom this weekend and spotted a giant (what appeared to be the number 69) on his leg in green.
I demanded to see his leg. He did not want to show it to me but this mother used force! Twisting the hair on said childs leg will cause him to show it rather quickly.

It was the zodiac cancer sign tattooed on his leg. I was disgusted. I think tattoos are trashy and I had hoped by making him wait until he was 18 that he would change his mind.

He has been bugging me to get his tongue pierced too. Now I am REALLY worried!

In the state of Florida you have to be 18 to get a piercing or tattoo. Obviously they don’t check i.d.s all that well now do they?


Isabelle, Isabelle, Isabelle - It’s time to live and let live, and let go! Looks like the kids in desparate need of some tuff lov’in. Seriously Isabelle. Let him fall, he’s a big boy, he’ll pick himself up! Hopefully not at your expense. Just think of the other Littl’ins. They are getting a good lesson of what not to do to piss off mom.

I don’t necessarily have anything against tattoos or piercings, but I would have a major difficulty if my minor child so clearly acted against my express wishes. Is this an isolated incident?

Looking back at it, how do you think you might have done things differently, to have a better chance at having your wishes complied with? And how has this incident changed the relationship between you two?

I wonder why he bothers to ask your permission concerning the tongue, when he has already shown that he will do whatever he wants independent of your permission/prohibition. I would have a hard time convincing myself that his requests were sincere.

IMO the tattoo itself is relatively minor. Far more significant is his disobedience, dishonesty, and lack of respect while (presumably) living under your roof and on your dime.

I don’t think it will ruin his life. I know more people with tattoos than without. They get jobs, fall in love, and it doesn’t make them rob banks. No big deal. REALLY STUPID, but no big deal. The fact that he disobeyed you is another issue (my kid did the same thing). The sun will still rise tomorrow. Pick another battle. At seventeen, I’m sure he’ll do something else to piss you off!

I’d worry more about a tattoo than a piercing. Piercings are removable, particularly tongue piercings. Tattoos are (for all intents and purposes) permanent.

Far from it. Check some of her other threads here on her problems with this son - he’s on probation for some crime and she was supposed to be meeting with his new probation officer about him, she’s wanted to kick him out of the house, he’s apparently refused to fulfill responsibilities at home, and so on. If I were Isabelle, I hate to say it but I wouldn’t be surprised that he’s gotten a tattoo; this is almost minor in comparison.

He is doing his house chores. (Big whoop cleaning the livingroom and bathroom…hard stuff eh?)

He is making curfew.

He quit the job that required me to commute 5 hours a day because he did not like having to get up at the crack of dawn, walk 3 miles and the sit on a bus for hours.

He was unemployed for only a week and landed another job.
Again in landscaping. He makes less money but only works 5 days a week. His new boss gave him a bike so he is riding to work (which is roughly 20 miles one way) and often riding the bike home at night if he can’t get a ride.

He is paying his cell phone bill which the last one was a little under $100 (compared to the old bills which were over $600)

All in all I guess he is doing better. But this total disregard for my rule NOT TO GET A TATTOO ticks me off. He still carries the attitutde that he is a man and will make his own decisions.

I don’t know…

Ooops. I saw some of those previous threads - didn’t realize they were the same family.
Sorry things are as they are between you and your son, Isabelle.

Oh and about moving out…
he realized he did not save any money to do this so he has agreed to follow house rules until he can afford to move out. He is shooting for Nov/Dec.

I think I have known mother’s like you.

There is something about your posts that makes me question if your dismay at your son is genuine. You keep stating that you’re concerned, ticked off, etc., but I keep getting the feeling that the thrill of lamenting over your situation is somewhat appealing to you. I have this picture of you swatting him playfully with a dish towel while telling him how “ticked off” you are about the tattoo.

I really am very sorry that you’re in a bad situation; I’m just wondering if you might be contributing to the problem by not really, really examining your own behavior.

How long did you say until he was 18? Essentially, when he is 18 he will make his own decisions, but he does not have to under your roof right? Not a parent myself yet (I stress the yet, my wifes bio-clock is ticking ever so loudly as of late) I do not have much empiracle evidence to go one. But Tuff love worked in my case, and my relationship with my mother some 17 years later is wonderful. The wonder happened when I realised living with her was not the idea situation for me, and I was forced to move on my own at 17. I had the ability to move in with my father and that was good, I bulled through first three years of college, and 4 years after that I was on my way to defend my dissertation for my PhD. It happens Isabelle. Teens test and test and test until they crack their testor or fall so hard on their ass that they actually learn a lesson. And still others never learn, and become adult heathans.
I feel for you, I really do, but please let me remind you of one of my mother’s favorite sayings…It’s only temporary - and BTW, I have a tatto on my right sholder from my 17 and a half rebellious days… :slight_smile:

Luckily I had the forthought to ask myself one huge question before he fired up the needle. Will I like this when I am 50.

Still yes at 34. :slight_smile:

You need to march him back to the tattoo parlor, and tell them he is under age. I think you can cause a whole bunch of licensing problems for the business.

No!!! I really am mad at him and I lectured him at every opporutnity that came up over the weekend. Each time he “got the point” and then I shut up.

I would love to kick his butt but he is sooo much bigger then me!

I am in family counslieng now and I think that is helping.

No I do not enjoy hearing myself bitch about the kid. But am always open to new ideas.

Well…you have a teen that wants his tongue pierced and a few nails and a tree not doing anything.

Sounds like a plan to me. :wink: :smiley: