Vin prefers the term “slay fest” to “killing spree.”
"Vin Diesel came on Eilleen. :eek:
After a grueling 47 day battle with Walt Disney, Vin Diesel finally beat him at rock, paper, scissors and thus froze Disney solid. Disney’s frozen body is now on display at Vin Diesel’s fortress of badassitude.
I once saw Vin Diesel stare at a mailbox and turn it into a small Philipino boy.
Needless to say, he swallowed the child.
Vin’s skin is pure Kevlar.
Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where’s Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, “This is BULLSHIT!” They’re all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, “IF I CAN’T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!” The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
Vin Diesel wrote a 5th Gospel, the Gospel of Vin, which was removed from the bible due to its controversial mention Jesus’ dog, Skittles.
Vin once turned a serial killer in to the LAPD. Not because it was the right thing to do, but because he did not authorize the killings and viewed it as a challenge to his position as the Grim Reaper.
Vin Diesel Once ate seven orangutans after losing a game of Go Fish to Jesus.
Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor.
Vin Diesel’s left arm contains superconducting magnets, with which he focuses ‘rays from the galactic core’. The synchrotron radiation produced by this process is the ‘snow’ between TV channels.
Anyone who is found to be extremely attractive has had cocaine snorted off of their taint by Vin Diesel. :eek:
After losing an interior decorating prize to Vin Diesel, Jet Li became irritated and challenged Vin to battle. Mr. Li was swallowed whole and is now lodged someplace within Vin Diesel’s ribcage.
Vin Diesel has been the creative directer of every Olympic opening and closing ceremony since the St Moritz Winter Games in 1928. However, he refuses to have any involvement in Beijing 2008 as a show of solidarity towards Taiwanese separatists, who supply all of Vin Diesel’s cybernetic enhancements. When called by Chinese Olympic officials asking him to reconsider his position on the issue, Vin Diesel simply hung up the phone because he does not speak Chinese.
Vin Diesel worships Poseidon, and makes no secret of that fact while attending Catholic mass.
Also, Vin Diesel got the Beatles back together for a one time special only appearance for Elvis’ 75th birthday. All The Beatles. Even John. And Elvis loved it.
Vin Diesel was slated to be in 2 Fast 2 Furious, but he wanted so much money (reportedly $25 million) that he was shown the door. The entire plot of the movie actually had to be changed because of this.
… oh wait, this is another one of those joke threads? :smack: Sorry.
Oh, this is great. I very quickly laughed so hard it hurt.
I love this one from the site:
Here’s my contribution:
Vin Diesel will travel back into the future from which he came on May 17, 2011. However, since that will be the date of his creation by a rogue faction of cyborg engineers, the transition from time-traveling Vin Diesel to newly made Vin Diesel will be seamless. No one will know.
Vin Diesel has been operating as a commando for the US government in it’s subterranian war against the Hyperborean-Lizard Man alliance.
Vin Diesel changed his name to Vin Diesel because his original name is unpronounceable by the human tongue.
The Chinese built the Great wall to keep Vin Diesel out due to the fact that he constantly threatened to impregnate every female over 13 years of age in the Ming dynasty and concieve the worlds fastest ric shaw runner.
Well, the good new is that Vin Diesel hasn’t killed me yet. But I want to know what exactly was meant by ‘end of the week’? Does that mean today, tomorrow or Sunday? Or does it mean 7 days from when I got the news? I can only keep moving, without sleep for so long.
Vin Diesel has a spinning bowtie that automatically propells him when he wears rollerskates, but he’ll kill you if you see him do it.
His teeth are each separate, intelligent beings.
While in stealth mode he is only detectable by the smell of freshly mown grass he gives off at all times.
Vin Diesel never needs to wind his watch. Instead, once every second he shifts reality into an alternate universe in which he is wearing a watch that has the correct time.
Vin Diesel actually has hair, but it’s beauty is too great for mortal men to behold. As such, he appears bald to all but the purest of heart.
My favorites:
Vin Diesel can communicate with fruit, he says apples scream the loudest
Upon a successful saving throw against an otherwise fatal attack, Vin Diesel becomes the Avatar of Destruction for 4d6 rounds. If he is good or neutral aligned, you may check the Errata for another appropriate demidiety.
If Vin Diesel goes below 50 miles per hour he’ll expolde.
Vin Diesel must be stored at STP conditions or he will spontaneously combust.
Vin Diesel is rumored to be the son of home cleaning icon Mr. Clean. When asked about the uncanny resemblance, Diesel simply states, “I have no father.”
I’m too tired to come up with anything good right now, but I’ll be adding some suggestions there later.
“Vin Diesel was shot 12 times in the back and skull with a .45 and walked it off.”
A longer Vin Diesel fact begins: “Most people don’t know this, but the Bible actually ends with Vin Diesel showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of Uzis and kicking some Roman ass. Vin Diesel was all like, ‘Jesus, I totally saved you.’”
“I End Lives” and “Evil Dines” are anagrams of “Vin Diesel.”
Oh sweet Og these are hilarious. Oh, and adam yax, I wouldn’t worry too much, because a week to Vin Diesel is not the same as a week as perceived by mere mortal men.
'Course, that doesn’t mean that he won’t just up and kill you at any time 'cuz he feels like it.
my additions;
Vin Diesel’s favorite number is 42
Vin Diesel must wake from his slumber and feed upon the blood of the Living
Vin Diesel sleeps in the Kingdom of RyLeah, awaiting the signs that will bring his reawakening so that he may eat the universe
looking directly upon Vin Diesel’s face will drive one MAD
Vin Diesel invented the Great Old Ones
Vin Diesel is actually a hyperintelligent pandimensional being that’s natural form appears to be two tarantulas glued together at the carapace
Vin Diesel is made entirely of antimatter, it is only his innate magnetic field that prevents him from reacting with normal matter
Vin Diesel invented wool
Steve Jobs’ real identity is Vin Diesel
Vin Diesel has no natural predators
-Vin Diesel can open childproof medicine bottles without lining up the tabs
-Vin Diesel has magic fire breath, also is impervious to lava
-Vin Diesel invented gravity
-Vin Diesel is a mammal whose purpose is flipping out and killing people
Vin Diesel was recently confronted with the rumor that he is in fact named for the
Vehicle Identification Number of a Dodge pick-up with Cummins turbo-diesel.
Mr. Diesel then proceded to sic an Uzi-wielding Jesus on the rumor-monger.
Vin Diesel’s Chi…or, if you prefer, Mojo…has Fnord qualities.
Vin Diesel is shaved bald.
- Like most of his species, Vin Diesel tastes like chicken.
- Cats are inexplicably attracted to Vin Diesel. Dogs cower in his wake.
"Vin Diesel - Wrestles himself when no one is looking. "
But then, so do I.