Homer Simpson, baker: “Dough!”
I need this sign.
I’ve seen crab legs unfortunately labeled ‘crap legs’ at a Korean supermarket.
Any chance they’re sold at Ihob?
The city was putting out info for our levy that explained how we needed to upgrade our police radios to have “parody” [parity] with surrounding communities. My heart dropped into my stomach thinking about how that almost made it out but luckily I caught it in time. I’m just a council person but they send a lot of stuff to me to be copy edited now.
This one is I believe a conflation of misspelling and a malapropism:
“Dribble” for Drivel.
Another one that drives me nuts is “Walla!” for Voila’.
That, and people who write “lead” when they mean “led.” It’s an understandable error, it makes sense why it would be a common mistake; but it still irks me.
I have a co-worker that continually spells white…wite
And just about any word that has a double letter in it only gets one of those letters!
On the ash cans outside our local mall, it says: Please Extinquish All Cigarettes
Another co-worker spelled shrubs…schrubs
In online storage unit auction listings I commonly see “chester drawers”. I presume they mean “chest of drawers”, but perhaps Chester’s underthings really are in there.
Unnecessary apostrophes:
- Blaze Pizza’s “Fast Fire’d Pizza”
- Ubiquitous* huge billboards for some (presumably bogus) hair “restoration” company, with RESTORE’D prominently in the text. (Also, the O has a tilde-like combover that puts me in mind of a certain orange Chief Executive.)
Umm, no apostrophe is needed, because NO LETTERS ARE MISSING! Probably not random misspellings, because they’re clearly intentional, but what the intention IS, I can’t fathom.
*In metropolitan Chicago, anyhow, as they feature Chicago sports figures.
Speaking of that, Ryne Sandberg’s first name looks spelled wrong but that’s correct.
Tackle This!
My favorite is the local pizza place that advertised its “homade pizza” for years. Given that the street it was on wasn’t a stranger to prostitution, perhaps it wasn’t a misspelling after all.
This reminds me of a Chinese restaurant I used to go to. I went there enough, that I became friendly with the owner.
One day when I was there, I noticed a hand written sign that read: “We opening Christmas day”
I pointed out to him a better way to phrase that would be: “We are open for Christmas”.
His response was: “Pffft! I know that! I’m a college graduate. I write it like that to make the place feel more authentic to my customers.”
IDK if he was fucking with me or what. But he gave me a good chuckle.
I used to work in a place that had a pantry. Someone had hung a hand-written sign on the door: Please keep the panty locked. It was up for several months before someone took it down.
mmm
I once accepted a job application that boldly claimed, “Salt and Battery”.
He didn’t get an interview.
At a doctor’s office yesterday, a big sign that said
PLEASE DISGUARD ALL SHARPS IMMEDIATELY AFTER USE
I had to look up “disguard” to make sure it wasn’t an actual word meaning “to remove the guard material” or something. (It wasn’t.)
Yeah but at least “led” and “lead” are homonyms.
Sign at a Country Club’s 19th Hole
**Fowl Language will not be tolerated.
**
Sign at dry cleaners yesterday: “Alterations done on premise.”
The complex where I’ve got a condo has underground parking. The cleaning crew comes around once a month or so to sweep it out. They dutifully post a warning that any cars left in the garage on cleaning day will probably get a little dirty. The standard posted warning has never been all that literate, but for awhile it had this curious typo:
“Owners who wish to do so may move their cars before hand.”
NO PARKING YOUR CAR WILL BE TOWED AT YOUR EXSPENCE
Naturally, no one parked there. Someone who spelled like that, who knew what other horrible things they’d be capable of doing.