Random people that are getting on my nerves

[Chimera]

Me: OK, what is in the middle of your screen.
Customer: Nothing.
Me: Do you have program X open?
Cust: Yes
Me: And on the left side, you see such and such?
Cust: Yes
Me: Ok, so what is in the center of the screen.
Cust: (several minutes of “nothing” or worse, “I don’t know”, even when I ask about various possible things that it might be saying.)

Me: Ma’am, I can’t fix your issue by magic. I can’t see what is on the screen in front of you. So please help me out here, I need you to be my eyes and hands on that end of the line. What is in the middle of the screen in Program X?

Her: Well you don’t have to be snippy about it!

Me: I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m asking you a question and you’re not answering me. If you can’t tell me what the program is telling you, then I can’t help you any further.

Customer: Oh, Jeez. It says…(reads it off)

++++
Me: Ok, hold down the shift key and click on such-and-such.
Different Customer: (TEN attempts to do this properly fail, with him repeatedly saying it doesn’t work, it won’t work, is there another way to do this.)

(Seriously, just hold down the fucking shift key and click a button. How hard is that?)

Me: (Puts customer on hold for 4 minutes. It’s a miracle cure for Cantfuckingmanagetodoanythingitis.)
Me: Have you got it yet?
Cust: No, it’s not working.
Me: Well sir, there is no other way to do this task.
Cust: Oh, OH, it worked now!
Me: :mad:

My co-worker two spaces down had been listening to that one and chatted over a link to this.

[Chimera]

@niblet_head

Ha! In a small way, reminds me of when I send my boss and email that says, “Do you want x or y?”

And he responds, “Yes.”

Easy solution.

When supplying a question of two or more choices, in the future you should add a second question beneath this:

“Or should I just go ahead and handle this on my own and trust you have my back on it?”

“Yes” becomes a great answer and provides its own documentation IF you add that second part of the question. Just keep the email handy to forward to his boss if necessary.

[Chimera]

Dear Gaming Friend;

I like you, but SHUT THE FUCK UP when important parts of the game/setting/rules are being explained or it is someone elses turn. I realize that you are a bit manic, but seriously, dial it the fuck back already.

Are you really so petty and fearful of other people having the spotlight for a few seconds? Or are you just that socially clueless?

[Lunchy]

People who clearly see me playing Bad Company 2, yet send me Street Fighter 4 invites. If I wanted to play SF4, I would be playing it!

[EvilTOJ]

Yes.

[what_do_I_type_here]

@Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension

Say “your welcome” when appropriate. By the way, “no problem” is not the same thing.

But don’t you think “you’re welcome” would work better since that’s grammatically correct?

[Chimera]

You’re Welcome.
Definition: conventional response to thanks meaning `freely granted’

Person 1: Thanks!
Person 2: Freely granted.

So how is “no problem” worse? It is an indication that granting your assistance did not impose upon or inconvenience you, whereas ‘freely granted’ would tend to imply that there is a possibility that you may have otherwise expected an obligation in return for your help.

[tr0psn4j]

My mom, sister and aunts carry conversations by yelling at each other.

“OH HI!”
“HELLO THERE WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE?”
“SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY”
“OMG LOL THAT’S JUST TOO FUNNY!”

If they’re outside, you can hear them inside the house. If they’re indoors, the neighbors can probably hear them.

A few days ago, I had the audacity to tell them to quiet down.

“Can you guys not talk so loud? I’m trying to chat with some friends and they can all hear you through the mic”

Next thing I know, the three of them and my dad (who was in a completely different section of the house) all start yelling at ME! :smack:

They have no sense of time either. Sometimes it’s 7:00AM in the morning, other times it’s at midnight.

Then there are those days when alcohol is involved…

[DanBlather]

@Chimera

You’re Welcome.
Definition: conventional response to thanks meaning `freely granted’

Person 1: Thanks!
Person 2: Freely granted.

So how is “no problem” worse? It is an indication that granting your assistance did not impose upon or inconvenience you, whereas ‘freely granted’ would tend to imply that there is a possibility that you may have otherwise expected an obligation in return for your help.

You must be annoying at parties.

[CanvasShoes]

@Bryan_Ekers

Well, if these are people you know, they aren’t really RANDOM, are they?

Random doesn’t mean strange or unknown, it means non-specific or no set pattern.

[Anduinel]

Dear Post Office Worker:

Yes, I am aware of what items are allowed to be sent by Media Mail. Books are on that list. Yes, I am aware that packages are subject to search; if you search any one of mine, you will find collections of bound, printed material known as books. YES, I AM SURE THAT THERE ARE BOOKS, ONLY BOOKS, AND NO OTHER ITEMS IN THESE BOXES!

Yeesh.

[Dung_Beetle]

@kaylasdad99

Dung Beetle: Yes, and you agreed to that. Since you’re changing when you’re asking for it, I’m changing when it’ll be ready. Do you want to see if you can get me to change it to 3:30 p.m.? All you have to do is . . . ask me.

He’s going to wonder why I’m cracking up next time he swings by here!

[Khaki_Campbell]

@DanBlather

Dear Co-worker,

You whistle out of tune and it is not only annoying, but it is embarrassing when you do it with customers in the store. Your attempts at scat singing along with the radio are equally lousy.

Be glad that he does scat singing, not just scat on its own.

[Ellen_Cherry]

@Cat_Whisperer

Oops, I didn’t realize this thread was a year old. Are we in zombie territory here? Brains?

I didn’t realize it was old either … and today I looked at the *In *Memoriam thread and saw Lyanthya’s name. She died last June! Just shortly after all her troubles at the doctor’s!

[jackdavinci]

@Nobody

Hey jackdavinci, can I be put on your list of people who get on your nerves? Can I, can I, can I? Please, please, please, please? Come on! You know you want to.

I’m not touching you, I’m no touching you. Pttttthhhhhhhhhh! Are we there yet? No, you are!

Sorry my list is full.

[Nobody]

@jackdavinci

Sorry my list is full.

Alright, but you don’t know what you’re missing :p.

[jackdavinci]

@Nobody

Alright, but you don’t know what you’re missing :p.

LOL it just wouldn’t be the same if someone was actually trying to annoy me. I need the verité.

[Omegaman]

To all the lazy people I take the time to leave a voice mail with and can’t be arsed to listen to it. Much easier to immediately call me back and make me repeat myself.

Dumb asses.

[Lunchy]

Women who seem to think that by telling me their weight, will somehow make themselves look bigger/smaller. That would be like me going to a friends pool and saying, Is that pool 2,000 gallons? ‘Nope, 3,000 gallons.’ Oh, yea, now that you say that, the pool does look bigger…

[Ann_Hedonia]

@Lynn_Bodoni

Oh, and my apologies for the above post if either Mom or Grandma has already played the “I’m not going to be around forever, you know” card too many times.

My mom certainly doesn’t own a copy of that card, she’s convinced she will be around forever.

A prime example…Thanksgiving dinner, with about a dozen family members including some out of town cousins.

I casual mention ( inspired by the presence of my cousins who are from Florida ) that I was thinking about relocating to Florida after I retire.

At which point my Mom went OFF on me about how I was supposed to move back in with her after I retired, that’s what GOOD duaghters do, along with some stuff about that being our time together.

The thing is, my Mom is 30 years older than me. So if I work till I’m 72, she’ll be, what, 102 ???..really ,MOM… think before you rant.