I’m standing in the elevator waiting to get to my floor. I have pressed the button for that floor because that’s how elevators work. Another person gets on and presses the already lit button. Why?!
I’ve called people on this a few times. Most of them ignore me or look at me like I have 2 heads. One or two have told me they pressed it because “it makes the doors close faster.”
Ditto for standing at the crosswalk. It’s not a magic button. Pushing it does not instantly halt traffic. You are a twit and should go away.
Back when I had a smaller car (and one that I wasn’t worried about getting dinged up), when I’d see someone that was deliberately parked about a foot into the spot next to them (a foot or two, probably to make it look like an accident), I’d park in that spot. My car was small enough that it would still fit in there but I’d be inches away from them. If it was on the driver’s side, they’d be crawling in from the passenger side.
I worked on the assumption that if you did that, you probably weren’t going to smack your door into my car just to be a jerk. It wasn’t until years later that I thought about the fact that someone could have just keyed it or put a lug nut wrench through the window.
Of course, I was the one that was actually in *a *spot.
1). The group of people that stand around talking, blocking everyone from getting what they need, I swear they do it just to annoy. It’s always a group of like 10 people with only 2 doing the talking.
2). The families with out of control kids. Why don’t you just leave the kids at home, where they belong. You don’t need both parents and eight loud bratty kids to go shopping. I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve had kids run into me or my cart because they’re running around yelling and screaming, not paying attention to what they’re doing.
3). The women that always cut in line at the self-checkout lanes.
I’m the one who pushes down the towels – my hand is covered with my towel and I figure, what’s the worst that could be on paper towels from folks who just washed their hands? Am I fooling myself?
So petty that I feel like a terrible person for typing this, but…
I totally get that the folks using the motorized carts at the grocery store have mobility issues, and they can’t move around as quickly as I can with two serviceable legs. But for fuck’s sake - that motor scooter isn’t your license to act like an obstructionist douche! Yesterday (Friday evening, around 5 pm - terrible time to go grocery shopping anyway, and the store is small, with cramped aisles to boot,) it was the lady who seemed to deliberately swerve every time I had a free path to pass around her. (Swear to God, in one spot, she looked over her shoulder to see me rounding past her, and scooted over to the left side of the aisle as soon as my cart came even with her back wheel.) Last week, it was a lady who kept moving ahead and then backing up (“beep, beep, beep”) to compare various breads on the bread aisle. Not once or twice, but - no exaggeration - 15+ times, with a poor, befuddled bread delivery driver in tow, asking his advice on the various breads. And each “beep, beep, beep,” seemed diabolically designed to stop me from reaching the only two products I needed on the whole freaking shelf!
Young people who get on the bus, sit in the seating for handicapped/elderly, bury their noses in their smart (hahaha!) phones, and refuse to acknowledge or move for someone who needs the seat.
Bus drivers who do jackrabbit starts before people are seated.
People who try to reason with four-year-olds. “Now Timmy, I understand that you’re frustrated because you can’t have a soda right now. If you had planned for this trip like mommy told you, blahblahblahblah.”
Along those lines, when I’m trying to decide what I want and I see someone coming down the aisle so I back up a few steps, but I’m still looking at the products. Then you stop between me and the shelves and just park it there to debate which item you want.
Look, you saw me there first, it was obvious I was just trying to let you by and it’s clear I’m still staring at the items. If you just need to grab something and keep moving, go for it, otherwise there’s two things you can do, either say ‘keep looking, I’m not even sure what I want yet’ or stand next to me, not in front of me, and blankly stare at the items with me’.
Together we can all figure out which brand of corn tortillas tastes the least bad and will impress our friends the most.
People who think kids are the mental equivalents of rabbits. Do they think kids don’t understand their own native tongue, or that they don’t understand cause and effect, or something?
When you’re going through a doorway, and there’s another person coming through from the other side. You two do a little shuffle, trying to get out of each other’s way. The other person invariably says, “Wanna dance?” I want to say, “No, but I’d like to shoot you in the head for coming up with such a clever, original question. Since I can’t do that, just get the fuck out of my way!”
I’m at a red light, you’re waiting to cross the street. Please don’t stand IN the street while waiting for the walk sign. If you do that I can’t make a right on red. I don’t know if you’re 2 feet into the road because you’re going to dart across the road (against the light) when you see the same opening that I’m planning to use to make my (legal) right on red. I don’t know if you’re going to move further into the street (like that other guy who keeps inching forward) and I’m going to clip you trying to get around you. Just stay back on the sidewalk.
I actually honked/yelled at someone for this once.
Double right turn. We had green right turn arrow. I was in the inner right turn lane and there was traffic to my left. As I came around the turn there were two people sort of standing in the road just off the curb. Since there was traffic to my left I couldn’t go around them so I stopped…honked…got a dirty look and I yelled back ‘you have to get out of the street’. I don’t even think they realized they were doing it. For some reason people at that corner are always standing in the road.
Better even, the person coming out holds the door in the stupid way so you have to walk under their arm. Moron.
Let it go buddy, you fucked it up, I can get the door.
THIS makes me absolutely NUTS. People either standing in the street waiting to cross or standing so close to the edge of the curb that their toes are sticking into the road. It’s especially worrisome (and this is not petty) when it’s an adult with a little kid and they aren’t holding the little kid’s hand.
This is another one of those awareness things. When you’re sitting in the driver’s seat of a car and driving next to the curb, you can’t SEE the curb. No only can you not see people’s toes, you can’t see if a toddler falls into the street under your wheels. On those (granted, rare) occasions when I wait for a bus, I’m acutely aware that the driver can’t see me from the knees down unless I’m well back from the curb, which is exactly where I stand.
And on top of that, if someone is on the curb, but they’re looking back and forth I have to wonder if they’re about to run across the street, against the light, so I usually just wait to make my right turn until I have a green and they’ve crossed.
Drivers who can’t seem to just obey traffic regs. It’s all I ask of another driver: stop at stop signs; don’t stop if there’s not a stop sign. Yield right of way or take it, depending on the situation. Your being ‘polite’ confuses things. Just obey the traffic signs as intended, because anything else you do is unexpected, creates ambiguity in the situation, and can lead to accidents. Just fucking stop it, okay?
How about the pedestrian who steps out into the crosswalk…and then gets all gallant and polite, and waves me (in my car) to go on through.
Dude, I can’t! It’s not legal! If I were to do that, the nearest nice traffic cop would red-light-and-siren me in a Hollywood heartbeat!
It’s one of those rare cases where trying to be polite is actually the wrong thing to do: just walk across, as is your legally protected right. Please (I ask politely) don’t invite me to commit a traffic offense!
OR, when you’re heading towards a door but you’re not quite there yet, and someone waits and holds it open for you, making you feel obliged to rush to the door so they don’t have to wait. If I’m more than, say, 10 metres away, then let it go. I can manage to open a door by myself. And fuck you for making me feel awkward and then having to thank you for it.
Also, don’t stand next to a pedestrian crossing if you’re not actually going to cross the road. I think there should be a law where if you’re standing by a crossing and a car stops for you, then you legally have to cross the road. Whether you wanted to or not.
(I don’t know if you have the flashing orange light, pedestrian always has right of way, type crossings in the US? If you don’t, that bit might not make a lot of sense to you guys )
One other thing, if you have right of way (say I’m waiting at a side road or on a roundabout) and there’s nothing else behind you, just go. Don’t wave me through. It’s confusing and unexpected and by the time I’ve figured out what you’re trying to do, it would have been quicker if you’d just driven on and let me pull out behind you. And then I’m supposed to thank you for holding me up?
(Obviously, that doesn’t apply if you’re driving a tractor/bus/you’re an old lady that drives everywhere at 20mph)
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