Whispering. I hate that sibilant hissy sound. I hate the tickly feeling it puts in my ears. I hate the dumb bitches who think that their farking conversation is more important than the information the professor is giving us RIGHT AFTER HE SAYS IT WILL BE ON THE TEST and then whisper “What did he say will be on the test?” If you hadn’t been whispering you incredibly long string of profanity deleted you would have another incredibly long string of profanity deleted known, now SHUT THE even more profanity deleted UP BEFORE I BRAIN YOU WITH A BULLETIN BOARD!
Sorry, sorry. I’ll listen to some ocean waves now.
Groups of people in a heavily foot-trafficked area, walking line abreast, s l o w l y. You see this a lot in malls, and it is the primary reason why I dislike malls so much.
[li]People who don’t indicate when driving[/li][li]Dead animals that people have left lying on the road[/li][li]Running out of nice underwear and having to wear a pair of old grandma ones[/li][li]Salespeople who keep bugging me[/li][li]Being given pamphlets of any sort[/li]Australia’s Prime Minister
(We’ll see how long this goes before being moved to the pit, in whic hcase I’m outta here, I avoid that place like the plague.)
Well, first off zombies annoy the HELL out of me. God I hate zombies.
People who don’t turn off lights when they leave a room. (Assuming, of course, no one else is in there, and no one will be for a while.)
Slow walkers in a small area
Telephones. I HATE them, one of the worst inventions ever. I dread having to answer a phone, and hate having to call people, especially people I don’t know. I prefer face to face, or email, or other writen things, as it can be done on one’s own time, not someone else’s.
And fat (teenage girls) who wear belly shirts. My opinion? IF YOU DON’T HAVE IT, DON’T FLAUNT IT.
Or in the words of Drew Carey “If you’ve got it flaunt it, if not cover it the f–k up!”
-Gum - can’t stand the stuff. Gets on your shoes, clothes, all over the sidewalks. Makes the user look like a nit-wit and sound like an ill mannered cow.
-95% of all advertisements - anyone dumb enough to believe the hype in these advertisements could probably be tricked in to a purchase by the company for much less money so get them off my tv
-Penn Station (NYC) - I swear that this place needs traffic signals and lanes. If i have to bring myself to a grinding halt because “Fred” suddenly decides that he really wants an Auntie Annies Pretzel, makes a j turn and cuts across the corridor and hundreds of people “Fred” is going to be ridden out of town on a rail (and not the way he had anticipated)
insomnia - not the oh im not tired kind; the my brain wont shut the hell up kind where your mind is racing through all sorts of stupid stuff. I always want to pull a homer and say “ok brain i dont like you and you dont like me but lets just do this together and ill get back to killing you with beer”
-My High School calling and mailing me for money. I understand the difficulty involved in running a tuition free private school, and truly value the “$80,000” education you gave me but i graduated 1 year ago. I have nothing to give. For petes sake couldn’t you atleast wait until i have graduated college, or even better until i have a job.
-Wife beaters - no not actual wife beaters (i assume thats a given pet peeve) but those skanky undershirts guys who think they are ripped and macho wear to signify their machismo. Fellas heres a little hint undershirt implies that it is to be worn under a shirt.
-Having to pay $5.95 for a turkey sandwich (read roll and a few slices of turkey. no mayo etc) at the campus mess hall. Sh-t for six bucks they should at least let me shoot my own turkey or make a sacrifice to Bacchus or something entertaining like that.
Stores that make cashiers ask for my phone number. The first time it happened it was a hot girl and I thought well aint I Mr. Fine.
Not really. There’s more of a crashing sound associated with the ocean. With whispering it’s just annoying. And as you may have noticed, whispering makes me somewhat irrational.
I recently became semi-retired (I begin working 3 days a week at a consulting firm in October after quitting th). Now, there were many factors in this, financially I could do so, I get to spend more time with my kids and more time golfing(that’s why I start in October ). However, there’s one thing that I really hated when I worked full time: flying. I think airplanes are modern torture machines. First, I’m always stuck next to fat people. No offense to those overweight dopers, but if you weigh 300+ pounds then you need to take red-eye flights out of common courtesy or go first class. Then, there are those people who think it’s a brilliant idea to take a baby with them. I think they should fly on the wing, or, if you must fly with a baby, dip the pacifier in beer. That’ll shut them up. Then, there are the people who need to recline all the way. I’m 6’2" and I’ve got long legs. If you need to recline all the way, I reserve the right to kick your seat as much as possible. When I was in Europe 3 years ago the trains had a brilliant system, if you want to recline you lose leg room. That should be implemented. Then there are the meals they give you. USair, which I unfortunately fly on most, probably uses dog food because it makes its own gravy. Then there’s the guy who didn’t bring anything to read who sits next to me and, after memorizing the wording on the barf bag, deems it necessary to look at what I’m doing on my laptop (more often than not watching a DVD). Now, out of courtesy, I brought headphones, so he’s pissed that he can’t hear Pulp Fiction. That means he leans towards me and tries to hear the noise coming out of my headphones. HEY, GET YOUR OWN DAMN LAPTOP OR BUY A NEWSWEEK FOR FOUR BUCKS! Also, there are the people who fly carry-on, which results in a piece of luggage the size of a Yugo hurtling towards my face when I’m trying to retrieve my hanging bag. They allow you to check your bags for a reason. Lock it if you fear for the safety of your belongings. If you can’t handle baggage claim, then go Amtrak. Airports themselves are also pretty horrible. Especially JFK. Apparently its designers originally wanted to put baggage claim in a different borough, but had to settle for the other side of the airport. Finally, Diane Feinstein wants to limit the amount of drinks per flight to 2. If I have to fly, I need at least five Budweisers.
Other things that bug me:
My teenage son makes the Gimp look like a communications major.
How was your day at school?
[Grunt]
What would you like for dinner?
[Shrug]
You know your curfew’s midnight, right?
[Grunt]
Even I’d be curteous enough to give one word answers as a teenager.
Slow swimmers who use the fast lane. Those markers are there for a reason. I hope you get the worst swimmers ear ever.
Cursive handwriting. Quite possibly the greatest impediment to progress in America. Everyone could write legibly before 2nd grade when Mrs. Buchanan would make you write in cursive or she’d rap your hands with a ruler. After that nobody can understand anyone else’s handwriting.
Clerks who give change by placing the bills in my hand first, then dumping the coins on top. This is especially annoying in the drive-thru. Coins FIRST, then I can hold them in the hollow of my palm.
Drive-thrus that don’t tell you the cost of the meal at the speaker. You just rang up my order. You know what it will cost. Tell me. KFC is especially bad at this. Also, KFC can get rid of that recorded greeting and faux request for me to order, which must be repeated (the order) if I forget and think that it is a live pimple-face speaking (they seem to use teens to record the message)
People who, at the drive-thru, give separate orders for everyone back at the office, and they must work at the Pentagon. Go inside!
[sub]ya know, maybe I go to the drive-thru a little too much?[/sub]
You know what bugs me, people who don’t take their hats off when they are eating, greeting someone, walking into a house of worship, etc. On one hand, it’s none of my business. I don’t insist or believe that such a person is an a-hole or anything like that. They could be the kindest of all people. However, to me anyway, it just doesn’t seem right or proper. Worst of all is someone who goes into a church or temple or any other kind of religious institution and leaves their hat on.
[li] People that don’t keep up with at least BASIC current events. Someone in my office the other day said, “Who is Gary Condit?” Sheesh, at least look at the headlines once a week or something![/li]
[li] When it rains about 1/100th of an inch where I live, the cable goes out. I still don’t understand why cable TV and water don’t mix.[/li]
Being awakened every morning at 3am by my bladder. It is always when I have found the most comfortable position in the bed and when I have just turned the pillow to the cool side, then the peepee alarm goes off!! (I think that is a rather literal definition of being pissed off…)
The shootings, the knifings, the beatings, old ladies being bashed in the head for their Social Security checks, teachers being thrown out of a fourth-floor window because they don’t give A’s. That doesn’t bother me a bit.
But you know what does bother me? Do you know what really makes me sick to my stomach? Watching you stuff your face with those hot dogs.
Nobody - I mean nobody - puts ketchup on a hot dog!
I’m really glad people are finally starting to come out about hatred of telephones. For a long time I felt like a weirdo because I can’t stand them. For one semester in college I didn’t even have one. It made more work for me to keep in touch with people, but otherwise I liked it a lot.
If you told someone, “Here’s a device that goes in your house and screams more or less at random. It’ll start screaming and not stop until you give it attention. And by the way, everyone in the world can make it scream - except you.” You wouldn’t want this thing in your house, but to me, that’s a telephone.
And I’ll add to the list, this:
People who will so see any piece of stupid crap Hollywood decides to excrete on to celluloid and defend it as “just for entertainment” and yet bitch that pop music is just vapid fluff for sheep unlike Radiohead or Rush or whatever artsy band they adore.
That disrespectful teenage boy down the street who drives at 40 mph through our residential area at 3:00 in the morning with his stereo blasting.
The disrespectful 40 year old jerk across the street from the disrespectful teenager who yelled profanities at my son when our dog accidentally got loose. Yes, we realize there is a leash law, he’s not taking her out for a leisurely stroll, she got out of the fence by accident, he’s TRYING to catch her to put her back, so would you KINDLY stop screaming at him so he can do it!
People who put their kids on Ritalin without exhausting every other possible approach to the problem. Little Johnny misbehaves, so instead of behavior modification, or actually teaching him right from wrong, we’re going to dope him up. Teachers who RECOMMEND Ritalin piss me off to no end, as well. You’ve got a teaching degree, you’re not a doctor. Don’t diagnose my child, and I won’t try to teach trigonometry.
People who make stereotypical assumptions about me because I’m overweight or because I gave birth to my son when I was 16. You know nothing about me, and if you make assumptions like that you’re not worth the time it would take to tell you anything about me, so go back home, watch Jerry Springer, and leave me out of it.
“Computer techs” who actually know nothing about computers. (“Hey, Bob just modemed me an upload to my memory board.”) I realize we all have to start somewhere, but at least learn the terminology before attempting to make it your chosen profession.
Typing an entire post, then wondering if it’s even worth it to click on the submit button.
Neal Peart is God. If you speak ill of Rush again I will be forced to thump you. I have given up on stupid movies though.
Ketchup goes great on everything. I mean that. Everything.
Oh, I understand what you’re saying about the telephone and all, but you’re also using it to write e-mail. You using it right now to see this message. Must have some redeaming values.
I’m going to second and third and fourth that whole bass kicked up in a car thing. WTF? You seriously cannot enjoy listening to your speakers being blown out. I can’t enjoy it and I can hear it from three blocks away.
And Crunchy Frog…whimper…I tried my best. I’m sorry. I’M SORRY! I humbly ask that you be my second in seppuku.
**I do. Ketchup and onions. No mustard, no sauerkraut, no chili, no relish…just ketchup and onions, please.
**I hate that, too. You have to be real quick and pull your hand away with the bills, and then reach back for the coins.
People who leave a vague message on the answering machine (MIL is the worst) and then forget what they wanted from you when you call.
My MIL leaves messages like, “Hi Kinsey, call me back, I need to ask you something, Bye.”
The when I call her back, she can’t remember what she wanted to ask me. Ask me on the machine, dummy! Then I can call you back and answer you right away.
). However, there’s one thing that I really hated when I worked full time: flying. I think airplanes are modern torture machines. First, I’m always stuck next to fat people. No offense to those overweight dopers, but if you weigh 300+ pounds then you need to take red-eye flights out of common courtesy or go first class. Then, there are those people who think it’s a brilliant idea to take a baby with them. I think they should fly on the wing, or, if you must fly with a baby, dip the pacifier in beer. That’ll shut them up. Then, there are the people who need to recline all the way. I’m 6’2" and I’ve got long legs. If you need to recline all the way, I reserve the right to kick your seat as much as possible. When I was in Europe 3 years ago the trains had a brilliant system, if you want to recline you lose leg room. That should be implemented. Then there are the meals they give you. USair, which I unfortunately fly on most, probably uses dog food because it makes its own gravy. Then there’s the guy who didn’t bring anything to read who sits next to me and, after memorizing the wording on the barf bag, deems it necessary to look at what I’m doing on my laptop (more often than not watching a DVD). Now, out of courtesy, I brought headphones, so he’s pissed that he can’t hear Pulp Fiction. That means he leans towards me and tries to hear the noise coming out of my headphones. HEY, GET YOUR OWN DAMN LAPTOP OR BUY A NEWSWEEK FOR FOUR BUCKS! Also, there are the people who fly carry-on, which results in a piece of luggage the size of a Yugo hurtling towards my face when I’m trying to retrieve my hanging bag. They allow you to check your bags for a reason. Lock it if you fear for the safety of your belongings. If you can’t handle baggage claim, then go Amtrak. Airports themselves are also pretty horrible. Especially JFK. Apparently its designers originally wanted to put baggage claim in a different borough, but had to settle for the other side of the airport. Finally, Diane Feinstein wants to limit the amount of drinks per flight to 2. If I have to fly, I need at least five Budweisers.