FUCK YOU, VIDEO EZY! FUCK YOU, MICK’S FLICKS! FUCK YOU, RAILWAY STREET! FUCK YOU, EVERY VIDEO STORE IN FUCKING VICTORIA!
Okay, I’m a real lover of film. A geek. A buck-toothed Monty Python fan. I love all truly great films. From Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels to Gohatto to Chopper to bloody-well He Died with a Felalfel in his Hand. I just love films.
It seems to me that no video store in the entire fuckin’ state has a single copy of Cidade de Deus, otherwise known as “City of God.”
Now City of god is considered one of the best films ever made, and the best film of the year by many film critics. Now why the fuck isn’t this in my local video store? ‘Cause of all those fuckin’ idiots who won’t read subtitles. “Sorry, I’m a lazy fuck, I couldn’t be bothered enjoying the best film ever, 'cause I don’t want to read!” Yeah, fuck you too!
I tell you, I go into the ‘comedy’ section of any video store and find a million shitty bloody Goldie Hawn non-comedies! Imagine that! I look at their crime films and I see 5 copies of Arnie’s shitty crime film starring him as a ball-busting prick, one copy of Reservoir Dogs, one copy of Goodfellas. I go to drama and see a million shitty so-called ‘heart-warming’ flims, and one shit-pot bloody unwatched copy of Taxi Driver! Insane! Anyway, all their horror, documentary, action and whatnot all suck too.
Then I read a story about a bunch of fuckin’ uneducated pricks buying tickets to fuckin’ City of God based on just the title (and possibly the title) then running out and crying to the manager “wah! I’m a fuckin’ sook and I can’t read subtitles, too bad I didn’t bother to learn a fuckin’ thing about the film and if I did I would’ve learnt it wasn’t for illiterate fools such as myself” Dickheads.
Please, if you only rent films if they’re brand new, DVD released, billion-dollar, storyless, ultra-violent, feature big name stars, etc. shoot yourself because you, yes YOU, are fucking up the film industry.
Don’t think I’m one of those “I’m better than you because I watch low-budget films.” I see merit in all different films, for silly/funny comedies like Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Dumb and Dumber. Just, for fuck’s sake, watch something other than mainstream Hollywood, you might have to read something, but if more people give money to some truly talented up and coming directors/writers/etc. then we’ll see a new wave of brilliant and original artists break into Hollywood and that will be a great thing. But then again, telling people not to be stupid is like telling George Bush to stop being ignorent, or Mike Moore to stop being so loud, not gunna’ happen.