Hmmm, I’m not sure if that’s going to catch on.
Dear Dr. Oz, please stop having your brain-dammaged minions spaming me.
Methinks there are several million zombies that need a double-tapping, bad.
Some jokes are so easy someone has to make them and some are so easy you have a duty to humanity to avoid making them: I refuse to call the March rants “Beware the rants of March”. And it would have been ires; it’s a plural, not a verb.
Just be grateful I didn’t call it Fuenteovejuna: let’s rant todos a una :D.
A hearty “Fuck you!” to my usual bus driver. The rude SOB already has a habit of leaving the stop late because he opts to duck into the convenience store down the street to shop and socialize. Tonight, he blew right by my stop, didn’t stop until he was two streets down from where I needed to be, and didn’t even offer a token “sorry” when he finally did stop. But hey, no big! I really wanted to walk two extra blocks on icy pavement in the dark after a late shift.
If he gets run down tomorrow, I’m shedding no tears.
Not only that, but if you do this, it will link your YouTube account to a Google+ account, which I didn’t want, and when I deleted my Google+ account because I didn’t want it, it deleted all my YouTube comments on other people’s videos and set all of my videos to private. I had to go through them individually to set them back to be viewable by others.
What the hell, cell phone alarm? You are set to go off at 5:30 a.m. Not at 1:30 a.m. and not at 6:20 a.m. Do you know what time you didn’t go off? The time you’re actually set for! Fortunately I’m now programmed to wake up about 5:40 anyway, but if I hadn’t my alarm would have just now gone off!
It’s starting to do this once a week and it’s getting annoying fast. I need that alarm to go off at the right time so I can get to work on time!
MAKE THE SNOW STOP.
Now they’re saying it’s going to be roughly 10-12" once it ends this afternoon. And it’s the heavy wet stuff that makes shoveling so much fun 
Did I tell you that both SO and I have bad backs from our ultra crappy excuse for a mattress and we’re too poor to afford a snowblower? I’m estimating it’s going to take us all afternoon to clear the driveway. Then the plow is going to come by just as we’re finishing piling up the crap at the foot and dump everything back into the driveway.
Maybe now he’ll understand why I want to SELL THIS HOUSE. I’m getting too old for this shit.
The bus drivers in my neighbourhood are complete law-breaking assholes. I understand that they have time markers to make - that doesn’t give them carte blanche to break any law that they choose. I’ve decided to call them bussholes. 
Can you afford about $150, give or take? I got the Wovela few years ago, and it handled all the snow we got in PA a couple years ago with no problems for me. I’m overweight and have breathing issues, but I was able to use this with no pain. It takes a little practice to get it to fling the snow, but the videos are good instruction.
Update please! Did he take out the trash?
They’re predicting eight around here. Yuck. It can snow from November to February. After that the suff ought to be outlawed.
Ouch. Really, most of the drivers around here are solid and I think this guy isn’t even THAT bad by most standards. But since he’s on the last route of the night, he seems to think he can get away with shit that would get him nailed during busier hours.
I need a hug. How can a Friday, and a payday, suck so much monstrous donkey cock?
No. And he would have had to practically step over it when he came out the door. Yes, I’m annoyed.
Take as needed, anyone who need them, no expiration date: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}
((purplehorseshoe))
Hey “Student Loan Help” or whatever the hell your name is? Can’t hardly understand the thick-accented lady that keeps calling me. I have one student loan. One. I don’t need to consolidate my loans. I’ve told you this, and I’ve told you nicely to please stop calling me. Three times in two days is a bit much, you think?
Next time you’re getting my air horn through the phone.
My father has an auto-hangup gizmo that detects the autodial tone. They’re pretty cheap and might be worth it for you. Unless this is your cell phone in which case you have my sincere sympathies. If they are in the United States you may have legal recourse that would also get you a bit of $, but from the sound of it they may be elsewhere.
Walk 3/4 of a mile to have lunch with a friend/co-worker. (I need the exersize) Order food, just sit down (Panera, if you must know.)
Call 1. Some idiot who knew the woman who had this number and won’t let it go. Despite my voicemail message in my (somewhat bass) male voice saying my totally not ‘Jennifer’ male name. Mute, Reject (what you have to do on my phone).
Put phone in pocket. 5 seconds later;
Call 2. Same moron. mute, reject.
Put phone in pocket. 2 seconds later;
Call 3. 888 number. Mute, reject.
Put phone in pocket. 10 second later;
Call 4. Same goddamned 888 number. Mute, reject.
In the act of putting phone in my pocket;
Call 5. My father.
TURN PHONE OFF.
Enjoy lunch without this shit.
Fuck. Go for days without a call and then they happen all at once, the moment I sit down to eat with a friend.
We have been suffering from this since we started living together 10 (damn, I’m old) years ago.
Our newest experiment is to have a weekly checklist for everything (including garbage, tidying, kitty litter, etc.). Two weeks in and I haven’t had to clean the kitty litter yet (it’s my hubby’s job).
I can send you our template if you like.
I feel your snow pain…
We had a shit-ton of snow last week. There was no way we could tackle it with our shovels so I called a snow removal company. It took them a couple of hours to get there because they were so busy, but it was only $30 and totally worth it. I’m still not sure why I choose to live in a state with so much damn snow!!