Ranting like March Hares - or somesuch

The BBQ Pit
262

Three periods in 26 days? Really? Fuck you, perimenopause!

Wheelchair van driver shows up 20 minutes early, says to me “Finally!” when I come out to start getting Tony’s stuff in? Double fuck you! (And BTW, the third time you bring the wrong van, which won’t load Tony’s chair? That’s the last time. I’m waiting to hear back from the case manager, so she can fire your ass. Because you pulled this attitude on me last time, too, but I let it slide once. Not so much the second time. You’re getting paid by the hour, whether you wait five minutes in the driveway, or whether you wait those minutes at the doctor’s office. And Tony always buys the driver a snack, or some lunch, and is very, very nice and not very needy as guys in wheelchairs go. So let’s find someone much nicer for this relatively cushy gig, eh?)

And finally: Planning a wedding is stressful. I get it. Eldest Girl is planning one, I’m helping as much as I can (physically - 600 miles away. Fiscally - disabled husband, younger kids. I have committed to buying her dress and accessories; gave her her grandmother’s wedding/engagement ring; will pay for the cake and a couple of suites for the bride’s and groom’s parties to get dressed the day of the wedding; and will buy the invitations/RSVP cards/thank you notes, and postage for all of the above. I’ve also bought their plane tickets for the honeymoon, gifted her with a $300 wedding gift that she wanted/needed, and will have to budget for travel with my husband and four younger kids to the wedding. I think that’s pretty acceptable, even though I wish I could be more generous.) The ex-husband has already insisted on having the affair catered, so that’s on his head - daughter was willing to do something much smaller and less elaborate. At any rate, even though most of my participation so far has been of the “post things she might like to her Pinterest board” variety, I’m being accused of “meddling” and “trying to take over.” WTF!!! The ex-husband wants his wife (who is loathed by both of her stepchildren) to be listed as “mother” on the invitation and the program. The stepmother wants to be escorted down the aisle, and me to not be escorted. I’ve already told my daughter that all I want is for her to be happy in her marriage, that I don’t give a happy damn about the formalities of the day, but… Dammitall, I do care that My Girl is feeling as though she has to kowtow to that SOB who nearly killed me (in a very physical sense) and the crazy woman he married!

263

**BEST **friends will skip along beside you, swinging a baseball bat and saying, “Someone’s gonna get it!”

264

Dear elderly couple: if you’re going to show up late to see Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained” and file slowly in front of us to reach your seats, please do not then immediately start chattering to each other about the movie (only temporarily quieting when asked politely to STFU), and then stalk out in slow-motion righteous indignation half an hour later because of how offended you are that there was Gratuitous Violence in a Tarantino movie.

The “Vaccine Resistance Movement” that apparently is sponsoring that Vancouver “debate”, has a typical antivax profile when it comes to endorsing fruitbattery, as in the following news release prominently featured on their website:

"AFFIDAVIT: Dr. Leonard Horowitz Files Pandemic Charges Against Rockefeller Trust – Damning report implicating the WHO, CDC, Rockefeller Trust, Murdoch & other moguls in attempted genocide"

Also, do not miss “Obama’s Eugenics Mandate”. :rolleyes:

265

Oh I see what happened now! Mother Nature had a mix up. Those periods were meant for me the last three months. (Sorry about the menopause.)

In other news, my doctor is suddenly worried about my stomach symptoms that look suspiciously like gallbladder problems without the pain even though I have been having them for a long while and even asked about it last October. At least she’s paying attention now. And she drew my blood for more tests, including pregnancy. The stress of not knowing is making me physically ill.

266

That bitch better get her deliveries straight, and in a big hurry! Ain’t nobody got time for this!

(Sorta kinda funny-ish: Being stuck in the house with a bum leg and a sometimes frighteningly hormonal wife, Tony has, of course, begun to refer to me as Kathy Bates, his biggest fan. Most days, I find that funny. Other days? Yeah, watch out for your good knee, jokey boy!)

Also, the big girl is sick and insists on going to school lest she miss her mid-terms.
The 3-year-old is six kinds of insane.
Just found out that my younger cousin, who I had hoped was past her wild and crazy stage (especially after a schoolmate and friend of hers was murdered last year in a drug-related crime,) was arrested Monday - 2 felony counts of drug possession.
And the damned dog is making me crazy - she was never leash trained, and was just put in the fenced back yard to do her business with her previous owners. Now, I can’t convince her that two conditions must be met for pottying: outside and on the leash.
And we won’t even start on my ThankGodSoonToBeEx-Sister-in Law, or the crazy woman my cousin is dating…

Women is nuts, I tell you!

267

Well I’ve got my answer. About two hours ago the miscarriage started. It’s eerie how much it’s like labor, even at just 5 weeks along. I took Aleve and am now mostly okay; the chills and shakes and diarrhea have gone away, anyhow. I’ll call the doctor in the morning. I guess they’ll want to do the beta anyhow to confirm that my levels are going down.

268

Thank you. No massacre needed. Just shit piling onto shit to the point where I had a full on panic attack, at work. Haven’t had one since mr. shoe got out of the hospital, so I had quit schlepping around my Baby Xanax with me. Better now, but … dayummmm.

Thank you for a much needed laugh. Forgive me that it was at your expense.

Please see above re the laughing.

Aaaaaand again. That last part cracked me right the fuck up.

Eta: oh shit, Sattua. I’m on an unfamiliar device and being slow so I didn’t see your post. I’m so sorry. Miscarriages do very mightily suck nard
s. My msincerest condolences.

269

“Colonel Russell Williams.”

270

As someone who has been there and done that I cried reading your post. I am so sorry this happened to you.

:frowning:

271

Hum. Maybe it’s better on the west coast? I never had any of those problems. Took awhile to get the right diagnosis and treatment, but that’s just the nature of it.

272

My parents had to rebuild their house in the mid 80s.

Prior to rebuild - avocado shag-ish carpeting, beige and ginger cats.
After rebuild - lovely mulithue amber/chocolate/rust carpets, a black cat.

No matter what, the cat hair showed.

[me, I would match the carpeting to the cat, or get wood :stuck_out_tongue: ]

273

{{{Hugs }}} Sattua.

274

GREAT friends own backhoes.

Just saying…:smiley:

275

Goddammit, I am so, so sorry.

The pain really is ridiculous. Nobody warned me how much a miscarriage hurts. Advil didn’t help worth a damn (it’s all my doctor would give me) and I ended up in the ER shaking and sweating. I know what you’re going through, I’m so sorry you’re going through it, and I’m sending you as many healing thoughts as you think you can handle.

276

I’ve bitched on here before about my Dad’s brother and what an asshole he is. He’s outdone himself this time. I’m so mad I’m not sure I can even get the words right.

Little bit o’backstory: Dad and brother did not get along at all. Dad passed away about four years ago. Dad’s parents weren’t exactly loving towards him, but Uncle was the Golden Child. Grandpa’s been gone for 20+ years, Grandma is still with us but very frail and forgetful. Uncle put Grandma in a home last year.

Now the rant, part I: Uncle sold Grandma’s house after Grandma went into the home. Uncle said he was going to use the funds from the sale to pay for Grandma’s care. My sister and I were fine with that. Instead Uncle used the funds to pay off his and his wife’s credit card bills. His wife has three idiot adult kids who have had various run-ins with the law, and Uncle and Wifey keep bailing them out. Uncle and Wifey also have to have a new car every two years and take trips to Hawaii about as often.

Rant part II: Grandma put some money in a trust after Grandpa died, half was supposed to go to Dad, half to Uncle, but only after Grandma died. After Dad died his share was changed to go to my sister and me. I found out yesterday that Uncle got Grandma to change the terms of the account. Uncle now has access to the full account and can pull money out any old time he pleases. He’s already spent his half, again on bills, and now is spending my and my sister’s half on Grandma’s care, or so he says. I really don’t believe him. He’s lied before, why would he tell the truth now?

The only way that this account could’ve been changed is if Grandma signed off on it. Grandma is so forgetful that she has to get calls from a caregiver so she doesn’t forget to eat. I’m not sure what story Uncle spun for Grandma to get her to change the account.

I’m pissed. It’s not about the money, it really isn’t. I had totally forgotten about this account until I found out about Uncle’s finagling yesterday. I’m pissed that Uncle would take advantage of his mother’s diminished mental state for his own gain. God only knows what else Uncle has convinced Grandma to sign off on. I’m done with Uncle, I don’t want to see him or talk to him.

tl;dr: Uncle’s an asshole with a spending problem, and he’s taken advantage of my Grandma.

277

I don’t know what your symptoms are, but I went through a phase of not being able to eat much of anything. It seemed like the only food that would stay in had to be plain. Pretty much anything white…potatos, oatmeal, things like that. They did an ultrasound and found gallstones. I wasn’t having any sort of pain but they went ahead and took out my gallbladder anyway, “Just in case”.

Personally, I don’t know if it was my gallbladder or the fact that I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time. Currently, I don’t have any issues except for the fact that I seem more sensitive to richer foods. I hear that is a common occurance after the surgery, though. Good luck!!

278

Yeah, no more gallbladder for me, man. I did have pain. But NO symptoms in between times. It was really strange. Now, no more problems! (Except a ghost of chest pain if I get really really hungry)

Also, ((((Sattua)))) I’m so sorry, honey.

279

Sorry about the TMI but, basically, my stomach hates me. There are certain foods I simply cannot digest that cause a tiny bit of stomach cramping, gas and loose stools. If I eat fattier foods, I need to be near a restroom or I will embarrass myself. Every on e in a while and only in the past year, I’ll have these episodes that only last an hour where my whole body shakes uncontrollably, I feel very nauseated and I am stuck on a toilet. My mom says she felt like that before she got her gallbladder out and she was about the same age I am. I don’t really mind getting it taken out.

280

Thank you - that post actually meant a lot to me. I feel better today, a bit. Essentially I got blindsided yesterday with a rumor that my team’s entire existence - and therefore, my job - is far more precarious than I had let myself believe.

On top of that, Shoe is having an understandably hard time adjusting to being a cripple left alone all day. He’s always struggled with anxiety and depression, and finding himself confined to a wheelchair is exacerbating that to all hell. He used to be one of those rare lucky souls who liked his job, dammit, and all he wants is to go back to work. He keeps telling me he feels useless, and although he’s doing as much as he can around the house and I keep telling him he’s not useless but he’s stubborn and hard to convince.

On top of that, my dad needs something from me and texted me at one thirty in the fucking morning about it. I totally gave him an out, sending him a “I got this super-late. Technology snafu?” and he didn’t take it. Responded with, “No I meant to send it that late.” FUCK YOU, old man, fuck you and that shriveled little cock that made me and brought me into a lifetime of misery.

On top of that, there was a huge mixup last year that resulted in me getting a “Hey, you still owe us $1.5 K letter from the IRS” a couple of months ago and I don’t know how in the world we’re going to pay that, plus I’m scared of what this year’s round of taxes will do. Over a fucking thousand dollars. Jeebus.

On top of that, I’m trying to figure out how to make this much money { . } pay this much in bills { … } for regular stuff like gas and electricity.

So, I got overwhelmed. And had a goddamn panic attack, at work, and had no choice but to power through it, hide it as best as I could, and do what work I could perform. Nobody asked, “Hey, are you okay?” or anything, so I guess I hid it pretty well.
Anyway, thanks for the virtual hugs, everyone. Today will hopefully be a better day. Also I saw a “Hiring!” sign on my way home a few days ago and will try to hunt it down on my lunch break and see what’s up.

281

This is actually illegal, even if your grandmother changed it. I would try and find the contact information for the branch manager/compliance officer of the bank/brokerage firm currently holding the account. Explain your concerns to them. Most financial institutions are very careful about these kinds of things (I work for one and have had a similar issue with one of our elderly clients). If you are the beneficiary of the trust make sure they know that so they don’t think YOU’RE trying to scam them. You may not get anywhere with them but trust agreements usually specify what the funds can and can not be distributed for. If the assets are only for the benefit of your grandmother, you Uncle should be providing some sort of documentation showing that they are being used to pay for her care.

Definitely put a call into the branch manager to voice your concerns. At the very least, they will be more dilligent when your uncle requests distributions. PM me if you need any additional help.