RANTS! Now with zero trans fat olestra!

Give me real sugar!

Give me real butter!

Give me real deep fried artery clogging deliciousness!

I’m with you…fuck low-fat sour cream! How is that even POSSIBLE?

Screw you, processed cheese food! I want cheese that a dumb beast has suffered for!!

Kidding, I really do want real cheese from actual milk and whether the cows suffer or not is debatable.

Keeping to the dairy theme…

Dammit, Store-Brand ice cream manufacturers! The Dreyers/Breyer’s model of reducing the half gallon carton of ice cream to 56 oz. is a BAD thing! You were supposed to RESIST it, and SHAME those fuckers into giving me my cup of ice cream back! You WEREN’T supposed to adopt it!

Knock it off!

Give me my Vitamin D milk! I eat constantly and still lose weight. The milk is the only thing keeping me afloat in this endless battle to not be skinny, so stop glaring at me for not drinking that pithy skim stuff!

Just to clarify for anyone who’s confused, referring to the OP’s title - the vast majority of trans fats aren’t “real”, so to speak. The partial hydrogenation process was invented early last century. By that as a gauge, seeing “no trans fat” on a package of baked goods is a good thing. (Seeing Olestra? Perhaps not.)

Make your own goodies if the companies aren’t giving you what you want.

Bastard. I’ll trade you some of my ass for some of your…not…ass. Whatever. You know what I mean.

Fuck the three grocery stores I’ve been to who are out of my soy milk! You have every friggen variety but mine.

Original - check!
Vanilla - check!
Chocolate - check!
Light vanilla - check!
Light chocolate - check!
Fat free vanilla - check!
Fat free chocolate - check!

Light original? Nope, I’m SOL.

Fuck diary all together! It makes me poop!

I am intolerant of Dairy and it’s fucking lactose!

I think you need to leave Wisconsin.

I have no dairy related rants. Only job hunting rants. Fucking fuck the fuckers that say at the end of the interview that they’ll let you know one way or the other by X date and then never do. FUCK!

Watch your carbs, watch your fat intake, watch your cholesterol, limit alcohol consumption, don’t smoke, exercise regularly, take your vitamins, see your doctor…

Die Anyway.
Everything in moderation, including moderation. Life is too short for margarine.

Me too. Good thing we both live in Wisconsin!! Ha!

I’m doing the low carb diet thing, with some success, but I was recently told by my doctor I have high cholesterol. So before the doc’s news, I was congratulating myself that if I couldn’t have rice, bread, pasta or potatoes, at least I could have filet mignons, shrimp and French cheese.

Damn. Here’s what my menu choices look like now: lettuce and chicken or fish. I’m getting freaking bored eating this crap and any day now I’m going to let loose and eat some sweet-glazed pork or some huevos rancheros or a steak frites. This sucks.

Eat with butter, cook with butter. There is NO FUCKING SUBSTITUTE.

Sugar? I’ll take it over some chemical any day.

Sugar-free caramel?!? WTF do you think caramel IS?!?

:smack: :smack: :smack:

I think I will make this my new motto. I’m totally on board - for the few times a month I butter something, it damned well is going to be BUTTER.

And you’ll take my cheddar cheese from my cold, dead, hands. I might have died from a coronary thrombosis*, but I’ll go with a smile on my face. :slight_smile: <— like that one. :cool: <— or a cheese-coloured one.

*But I don’t think so - I eat cheese regularly, and last time I was tested, I had abnormally low cholesterol. I’m doing something right, I guess.

Bolded is my next bumper sticker.

btw: This rant thread is in no way limited to food and dairy. Feel free to flame the buttmunch that cut you off on traffic. Or your boss. Or even me.

Though I can’t imagine that anyone would want to pit shy, quiet, loveable me.

My CC&Rs don’t allow for the keeping of dairy cows on property.

Which pretty much is a rant in itself, too.

Neither can I Projammer :), shit you know I really should stop this asslicking stuff, it’s really not me. I pit that.

Err what else, oh yeah

Last week searched everywhere for this new cereal I wanted to try, found a shop which has it delievered specially by request, lady would phone me when she got a box of the stuff in. Recieved phone call and I asked for her to hold onto it especially for me and that I would pick the cereal up next week. Next week arrives go into the shop ask for my uber special cereal, lady says “oh I put it out on the shelf because I thought you weren’t coming in”

Oh you silly cow.

One day about two years ago, I looked at my breakfast: egg beaters with fat-free cheese, a piece of low-carb toast and margarine and a cup of coffee with splenda and fat-free cream.

What the fuck?! All my food, except my coffee, was fucking fake or somehow synthetically altered! No more - real butter, real eggs, real cream, homemade bread and real sugar from then on. And my insides couldn’t be happier - that fake crap does a number on your body (or it did mine, anyway - I’m not lactose intolerant, but I seem to be intolerant of fake fats, particularly in cheeses).