It was brought up as a big regret. The original thread was about pranks gone awry. I have two young daughters that mean everything to me. If something like that happened to them…well we better not think about that too much because things will go bad very quickly. I was 17 then and 34 now. Things change a great deal over time especially for males. My friends then were low-level psychopaths although I suppose that is true lots of teenage boys. I was the brains behind the operation and I would try to figure out how to make their ideas work although none of the others were in the same category. I never expected that plan to work yet it did. Once it started, there was no obvious jumping off point so I felt I had to ride it to its conclusion.
You’ve posted it three or four times, though, seemingly at every opportunity! Lemme tell you, if I’m truly ashamed of something I did, I don’t bring it up at any time it might be tangentially appropriate. Repeatedly posting the same story sounds more like bragging, or glee at having a “good” story to tell, than true contrition.
Responding to my bolding.
Well if something like that did happen to them they would never know, and thus you would never know, so would that be ok?
If I had been that woman, this would be my thought process …
I have a suspicion that something was awry, but I am not able to even contemplate the possibility that my *boyfriend *- someone I (presumably) love and trust - would do such an appalling thing to me. Why would he do it? It doesn’t make any sense to do such a cruel thing.
[Even knowing the whole story, now, from this perspective, it doesn’t make any sense to do such a cruel thing. For the purposes of this thread we’re assuming it happened as described, but for the woman in question, that would be a very difficult thing to believe, especially in the absence of other supporting evidence.]
I have the option of accusing my boyfriend of doing a cruel and senseless and humiliating thing to me, but how would that go over? If he didn’t do it, he would be (justifiably) quite offended and hurt that I would suspect it. If he did, then my bringing it up will be an opportunity for him and his accomplices to have a(nother) good laugh at my expense, and I don’t want to put myself through that further humiliation.
If I hold my tongue, and play along, maybe I can save myself further humiliation.
So I am upset not only because I had a joke played on me, because I was XXX’d by my boyfriend’s friend, because my boyfriend asked his friend to XXX me, and because all their friends are involved. Add to this the self-doubt that it actually happened, plus the guilt for suspecting my boyfriend if it isn’t true. Finally there is the guilt for “allowing” it to happen in the first place [this particular kind of guilt is really, really common for lots and lots of women, regardless of her actual role in allowing it to happen].
There is nothing I can do about this, no matter how I respond I will be further mocked and humiliated. Can you imagine the perpetrator of this sincerely saying “I’m sorry I tricked you into letting my friend XXX you” without giggling and reporting it to his friends after? I can’t; any attempt I can think of to fix it will only make it worse. There are no circumstances under which I would be able to say “Oh, ha ha, there’s a good joke on me then!” and feel good about it. None. That is why it is not a good joke, and I also don’t understand why, if the perpetrator regrets it, he keeps retelling the story.
You have a good point there. The friend in question (the boyfriend) was supposedly an upstanding farm boy. She LOVED him yet he dumped all the time. The only time the whole thing came close to being revealed was when he burst out laughing in the closet. Luckily, there were lots of people talking outside of the bedroom. He might have a voyeur fetish for all I know or he may have just wanted to be mean to her.
Let’s reiterate the fact that I posted that in a pranks gone bad thread and I think the prior ones were too. However, I do think it is a good story in its oddity and that’s why I have mentioned it a few times over the years. I don’t think there is any problem with talking about things you are ashamed of whether it is 1 time or 50 times. I feel bad about this one but it still doesn’t rank in my top 100 things that I regret. That isn’t to say that it isn’t bad, it is just that many things rank higher in terms of hurt that I caused other people and I am always willing to talk about those as well.
It “could also be considered” conspiracy to commit rape. And possibly, depending on the actual situation, attempted rape. On top of the completed sexual assault aspects.
God damn…
If I committed sexual assault as a prank and it didn’t even make it into a list of the worst hundred instances of me hurting people, I’d probably just do the world a favor and eat a bullet.
Exactly what I was thinking. Holy shit.
I am starting to feel like a bad person although I have done pretty well for myself overall. This line of reasoning makes me believe my theoretical rap sheet could be pretty long:
- Conspiracy to commit rape.
- Attempted rape.
- Manufacturing explosive devices (I loved to make bombs like most boys do).
- Blowing up a construction site (real but false accusation).
- Kidnapping with the intent to cause egregious harm. (the guy got off easy).
- Poaching (I didn’t have a fishing license).
- Careless and reckless driving (teenage drag racing).
- Possessing and manufacturing deadly weapons in school. (shop class was cool)
- Illegal firearms possession. (my father was a dealer and I could shoot anything I wanted)
- Starting wildfires (4 counts). (That continues to this day. I love fire).
- Domestic terrorism. (Guns, cannons, fireworks. I have done it all).
- Assault and Battery. (There were a couple of fights in high school).
- Drinking and Driving (a few times over the years. self-explanatory)
- Vandalism against a government facility (painting a rival high school football field).
Does anyone else wish to share their theoretical rap sheet?
Aha! But the joke is on Shagnasty, as—unbeknownst to him after all these years—right after he switched places with his friend, so did the girl.
That would actually make a great movie plot device. I don’t think I have ever had any homosexual experiences but now you make me wonder.
I’m glad to see a bit of ire here. A prank? A fucking prank? What can’t be justified by using that term, exactly? ‘No, dude, the noose and the ‘die nigger’ notes I stuck to your locker were just a prank! You got pranked! Yaaay!’ If I’d done something that shameful, you’d best believe I wouldn’t bring it up at every available opportunity, even to strangers.
Luckily for you? How so? So you had less chance of knocking her up or giving/getting an STD or maybe AIDS? So she wouldn’t be able to file rape charges? 17 is old enough to realize that those tits and asses are attached to actual human beings and sexually assaulting a supposed friend isn’t quite the same thing as making homemade bombs.
Just because you’ve “done good for yourself” doesn’t mean you didn’t want to take part in raping some chick so you and your freind could get your jollies, and brag about it multiple times over the years online.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else has done, only one person here is getting off over the years from your little story: You. Oh, and maybe your friend. Want to start a new thread asking people to brag about their crimes, go ahead. This one is about YOU and your fucked up mentality towards abusing women.
You must be new here.
This is probably a risky thing to post, but it is possible that she knew and was into it, or found out later and thought it was either sexy or funny. I, of course, don’t know that this was the case, but I certainly know, or have known, girls that age that would be into such a thing.
So you’ve known girls who’ve voiced their wish for their boyfriends to secretly let a guy friend feel them up or fuck them or whatever, while they’re on their periods no less (and drunk, presumably)? They’ve told you this is their idea of a fun, sexy time, and definitely a fantasy they’d like to see come to fruition? Not a threesome, not a rape scenario to be played out with a trusted partner, but a non-consensual sex act with a possible stranger (after all, they’re in the dark)?
No, I’ve known girls that were into “trading off”. In fact I think the grown-ups who do it are called swingers. I just said it was possible in this case, as an alternative explanation. Perhaps she knew all along because 17 year olds aren’t as clever as they think they are or she and the guy set Shags up.
Yeah, but the point is, Shagnasty didn’t know. In terms of things that are kind of risky (bondage, rape fantasies, switching sexual partners) it’s generally good to check in with all parties involved. A “maybe she wanted to” just doesn’t cut ice. You have to know for sure.
But if Shagnasty didn’t know, his intent remained unchanged.
And I knew/know plenty of horny 17 year old girls. Can’t think of many who were into casual sex while on the rag, all the other creepy details of the encounter aside.
And in the grown up world, people that try to fuck people who don’t want to fuck them are called “rapists”.
If you knew what you were talking about, you’d know that swingers want to do adult things with willing adults, and look down on people who are forceful or do things without other’s permission, which includes tricking people into their games. It isn’t an alternate explanation, it is a Penthouse letter style fantasy.