It’s Flexo!
raises hand
Eight and counting.
Well, if he had a sword, he might well have had a battering ram too.
damsel: “No, stop, help, RAPE!!!”
downstairs hero: “Grond, Grond, Grond…”
Many Dopers say the porn watcher should turn down the volume. What if he is hard of hearing? I’ve never seen a porn vid with closed captions.
I do not own a sword. I do own a gun, however, and I would empty it into a sword wielding door kicker.
I own a broadsword. I make use of it once a year, at the local ren faire.
It was in Spanish anyway, so even cranked up to 11, he was going to have a hard time following the complex plot.
Fortunately, my Spanish and clairavoiance are honed to such a remarkable degree, I was able to lift the dialog off of the DVD from hundreds of miles away, and I have translated it for your convenience. Here it is, word for word:
“Ooh baby. Yes. Do me. Ooh ooh ooh. That’s the sweet spot. Give me the whole thing. I’m so hot for you. Boink away, you big hunka man love. Ooh ooh ooh.”
I don’t own a sword, but I will own a sword. One day. Soon.
He owns an airgun. It looks distressingly realistic.
We also own:
Darts - really sharp ones. Meant for throwing
Vaerios Knives
throwing knives
Oh, and a machete. Which would be my preferred weapon of choice if someone busted in through my door. That, or a stuffed animal, whichever came to hand first.
So eventually you can me to the count, too.
I read the Journal-Sentinel article linked upthread, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear it was from the Onion.
And Mr. Van Iveren maybe ought to look into irises for his eyes. He looks like Satan.
Robin
I hope the phrase “There can be only one!” is not used. :eek:
“Break down my door and stab me with your broadsword!”
I’m only going by inference from my pathetic level of familiarity with gutter French, but am I correct in the assumption that “Casa de Culo” means “House of Ass?”
I’m sure it’s come up. “Goode sir, a tankard of ale, only eight ducats!” comes up far more often.
Indeed!
Of course he wasn’t. He broke down the man’s door and threatened him with a sword for no reason. I don’t want to live in a world where that’s a good deed. This guy (the swordsman) had enough adrenaline to rape and kill everyone he found in that apartment. Having that kind of outlook on life is not healthy.
Yup. And, for the uninitiated, that’s not the kind of title that a rape fantasy flick would have. Fetish videos that far outside of the mainstream always have names that tell you exactly what they’re about. What this says to me is that Mr. Van Iveren would have busted into this guy’s apartment ten hours later even if he’d been having loud consensual sex with his GF. And probably sliced him to pieces. How do you think the guy’s GF would have felt about that?
Headphones
What’s the Spanish word for “boink”?
Oh, and count me in among those who think dude should have called 911 if he thought there was a rape being committed. Not having a phone is no excuse. Go to one of the other neighbors and say “Hey, I think the skeevy guy in apartment 2 is raping sombody. Just listen to those screams! Call 911!” Busting into somebody’s house with a sword is a good way to get yourself shot. If that had happened in the state of Tennessee, the Mr. Porn Fan would have been legally justified in blasting the shit out of Mr. Sword Hero, and no charges would have even been pressed. A friend of mine (well, an acquaintence) was shot by the father of the girl he was consentually boinking and no charges were ever filed against the shooter.
The last sentence, is that right? That is seriously messed up if the father got away with it. Did the cops decide to not press charges or your acquaintance?
I am very confused by your post.
Jim
I think it’s “el boinko”.
I do. (I think I am the 9th in this thread if you are keeping count).
In fact, if you look at silenus’ picture, mine looks like the one on the left.
I’d really like to get a battleaxe someday, too 
I sort of admire the kind of person who leaps to defend an endangered stranger without even thinking it through- like the man who jumped into the subway tracks in front of an oncoming train and pinned the college student between the rails so he wouldn’t get hit by it. The man should be completely exonerated.
IMHO, if you’re going to blare violent pornography, you need to be prepared for neighbors (ESPECIALLY in thin-walled apartment buildings) to get the wrong idea. Next time, get a pair of those wireless headphoney thingers.
But he had ten or eleven hours of peace to think it through before he “leapt” into action.
What did he do? Sleep on it? Pace back and forth all night and most of the morning, worrying about it?
The guy is clearly a nutbag, not a would-be hero.