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Great Debates
1

This is GD, because it’s religious & witnessing, tho what I’m asking for is a critique
as to how clearly I express the ideas- what issues it raises that I could clarify,
keeping in mind that I want to keep it to one page.

Anyone who’s inclined to dismiss this as BS, this isn’t for you. If that’s what you think but want to actually address my request- great.

Here goes…

What are we supposed to be?
What keeps us from that purpose?
How do we get repaired?

Consider for a moment that the Bible addresses all three concerns.

Genesis tells us-
>God made us in His Image, male and female, entrusting us to care for His Creation (1:26- all Ch. 2).
>Our first parents broke trust with God, hid from Him, turned on each other and had to face the world in distrust and defensiveness. That same heritage has fallen to us (Ch. 3).
>God cares for us even in exile from Eden (3:21), promising that He will send a Son through a Woman to defeat Evil, even as the Son is wounded (3:15).
The Hebrew Scriptures relate that many heirs to that promise arose, struggling with evil. Some surrendered to it. Others held true. However, none could fully prevail.

Isaiah, around 700 B.C., saw that God Himself would take on the job no one else could do- as a Warrior King (59:15-21) disguised as a Suffering Servant (52:13-53:12).

God’s Eternal Creating Word became flesh (John 1). A maiden bore a son (Matthew 1).
You all know His name-
Jesus Christ- Yeshua Messiah- Savior and Anointed Priest-King.

He lived and taught God’s Law with compassion and severity- compassion to those too weak to obey, severity to those too proud to give or receive grace.

The latter group torture-killed Him on Golgotha’s tree. He planned it- even provoked them to do it, taking on the pain of every violation and the guilt of every violator, setting aside the joy of God’s Fullness to endure the Horror of His Absence.

He died forgiving and trusting and triumphant. Three days later, He arose even more so. He challenges us to join in His New Life as we obey His Words (the Bible), are baptized into His Family (the Church), breathe His Holy Spirit, and hold onto Him to the very end (Matthew 28, John 20-21).

We have another choice- we can risk rejecting Jesus to the point that we dread His light and cling to darkness- forever (John 3:19-21).

What keeps you from rising to His challenge?

2

Three very quick points:

  1. I’d cut the following: “The Hebrew Scriptures relate that many heirs to that promise arose, struggling with evil. Some surrendered to it. Others held true. However, none could fully prevail.” Not absolutely relevant and a bit controversial.

  2. Reduce the no. of Capital Letters - certainly no need in “Family”, and “God’s Fullness to endure the Horror of His Absence” is hard reading coz of the punctuation

  3. Decide on a register & stick to it. The following especially swings from colloquial to old-fashioned/scholarly:

“God’s Eternal Creating Word became flesh (John 1). A maiden bore a son (Matthew 1).
You all know His name-
Jesus Christ- Yeshua Messiah- Savior and Anointed Priest-King.”

  1. Others will comment more on the theology/hermeneutics; I will only say that one problem of having Jesus planning and provoking (re his own death) is that it might cause people to take their eye off the ball, when you want them to be focusing on him. (Same comment applies to the stuff about the “heirs to the promise” in 1.)
3

[Monty Python’s Inquisitor]Among my points are…![/MPI]

I agree with roger thornhill. One other thing–obviously, this tract is intended to be short and punchy, and get people’s attention. But some of the phrases take some thinking in order to parse, and I think are therefore a bit out of place in such a presentation. One that immediately came to mind while reading the tract is “setting aside the joy of God’s Fullness to endure the Horror of His Absence.”

4

Thanks for the feedback! Alas, the phrases so far pointed out for correction are my favorite ones! Oy!

Btw, my (Assembly of God) Pastor thought it was well-written & non-heretical (wait till I write one on Hell or the 70 AD Tribulation G), but that it would go over the heads of most people. However, I did write it for a college type audience.

I didn’t change the text but I did change the format- centering it so it would almost read like a prose poem. Let’s see if I can send it here like this.
What are we supposed to be?
What keeps us from that purpose?
How do we get repaired?
Consider for a moment that the Bible addresses all three concerns.

Genesis tells us-
God made us in His Image,
male and female,
entrusting us to care for His Creation
(1:26- all Ch. 2).
>Our first parents broke trust with God,
hid from Him, turned on each other
and had to face the world in distrust and defensiveness.
That same heritage has fallen to us (Ch. 3).
>God cares for us even in exile from Eden (3:21),
promising that He will send a Son through a Woman to defeat Evil,
even as the Son is wounded (3:15).
The Hebrew Scriptures relate that many heirs to that promise arose,
struggling with evil. Some surrendered to it. Others held true.
However, none could fully prevail.
Isaiah, around 700 B.C., saw that God Himself
would take on the job no one else could do-
as a Warrior King (59:15-21) disguised as a Suffering Servant (52:13-53:12).

God’s Eternal Creating Word became flesh (John 1).
A maiden bore a son (Matthew 1).
You all know His name-
Jesus Christ- Yeshua Messiah- Savior and Anointed Priest-King.
He lived and taught God’s Law with compassion and severity-
compassion to those too weak to obey,
severity to those too proud to give or receive grace.
The latter group torture-killed Him on Golgotha’s tree.
He planned it- even provoked them to do it,
taking on the pain of every violation and the guilt of every violator,
setting aside the joy of God’s Fullness to endure the Horror of His Absence.
He died forgiving and trusting and triumphant.
Three days later, He arose even more so.
He challenges us to join in His New Life as we obey His Words (the Bible),
are baptized into His Family (the Church), breathe His Holy Spirit,
and hold onto Him to the very end (Matthew 28, John 20-21).

We have another choice-
we can risk rejecting Jesus to the point that we dread His light
and cling to darkness- forever (John 3:19-21).

What keeps you from rising to His challenge?

5

Wow- it worked!

So, without any changes in the text, does it work any better in that format?

6

What? No, “HAW HAW HAW” in there?

I’m disappointed. :slight_smile:

7

I write much better than I draw.

8

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1025/1025_01.asp

Just for you, Neurotik- an early Thanksgiving present!

Your comment got me wondering if Jack’s done anything new & here it is!

9

Can you elaborate on what you mean by “repaired”?

10

Kill your darlings. - William Faulkner

What he is trying to say is that authors (or I guess editors in your case) inevitably have favorite phrases or passages in their work. As the work evolves they tend to hold on to them and try to make the rest of the story fit them rather than change them as needed for the overall quality of the work. The idea is that an author is a very bad judge of when those turns of phrase take over, and it is a good idea to just get rid of them.

11

Is it true that you can’t say “Thanksgiving” in the USA school? :confused:
Squanto spoke english?

12

Here’s a few thoughts that come to mind:

  1. Why do you need to mention genders in God’s creation of us in His image? That makes it look initially as if it will be some sort of gender/sexual statement.

  2. Is original sin a necessary concept in order to turn people to repentance and a relationship with Jesus? The concept of original sin doesn’t strike me as particularly resonant with those who might read a tract. It might be better to simply focus on the act of having sinned and the need for repentance. (“For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” --Romans 3:23)

  3. How do you cling to Jesus? What is necessary to become part of the family of God? Is it baptism? Obedience? That part isn’t terribly clear in the tract. (I grant that that might be intentional, but there has to be a way to make it clear without being condescending (like the sinner’s prayer – ugh!).)

Best wishes!

13

No, you can say “Thanksgiving” in US schools. According to some anecdotes, some nervous nellies have tried to PC the concept by teaching that it
commemorates the Pilgrims thanking the Natives for helping them survive.

IIRC, Squanto indeed spoke English, having been captured & taken as a slave to Europe, getting paid for & freed by Spanish priests, going to London & coming back to N America.

http://college.hmco.com/history/readerscomp/naind/html/na_037000_squanto.htm
for a historical account;

http://www.joyfulheart.com/thanksgiving/squanto.htm
for a children’s Christian account-

Jack surprisingly left out Squanto’s Christian faith, maybe because he’d have had to acknowledge the Catholic priests who freed him.

14

  1. Just felt like it- may change that in the next batch I run off

  2. My “original sin” segment is almost allegorical or Pelagian- The Fall account shows the tendency of people to distrust God & turn on each other. One can see
    the relevance of that while dismissing the literalness of Adam & Eve (tho I do believe in a real original two).

  3. How? I decided to leave that vague- Jesus just gave us a batch of commands before flying off- teach all peoples to obey Him, baptize them, receive the Holy Spirit. I think entrusting oneself to Him involves all of this.

Gotta admit this is more a discussion-provoking intro to the Faith (my copies have my e-mail addy at the bottom), not a “what you need to know/do to be saved” tract. Heck, as staunch a Trinitarian Incarnationist as I am, a JW wouldn’t be upset by my Christology in this tract.

Thanks.

Revtim- “repaired”- restored to fellowship with God & each other, enabled to eventually grow back into bearing God’s Image

15

Why would Jack Chick not acknowledge the Catholic priests who have freed him?

16

Because he’s Jack Chick. Obfuscation and outward lying are trademarks of his work, especially as concerns Catholics.

17

Friar Ted: This is not to be critical of your presentation or its value as tracts have a place in the scheme of things. It is just my opinion of/on tracts.

Tracts present an intellectual challenge and as such receive little consideration.

It is the Christian’s compassion and love for the unlovely that gets the sinners attention. It is not an instantaneous thing but cultivated over time.

For example James refers to fellow Christian brothers and sisters as follows:
James 2:15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food, 16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

If a Christian does not show compassion for fellow Christians how can he convert one sinner?

18

Just wondering, where does “torture-killed” come from?

Maybe it’s only me, but when I see something that uses odd hyphenations, it tends to turn me off. Puts me in mind of crackpots and such that use familiar words in peculiar ways that require some sort of special understanding.

Personally, if they’re being widely distributed, tracts should reach out to people in the simplest language and with the simplest, most important messages. (I think the message in yours is pretty decently stated).

19

Cut out all capitalizations except proper names, God, and God’s pronouns.
Scrap the “you all know His name” line. It sounds like a cheerleading slogan.
I’d use “virgin” instead of “maiden,” since the second word seems to refer more to any unmarried woman, whether she’s had sex or not. Maybe that’s just my interpretation.

20

I’d change this too. Again, it’s a matter of focus: if you really want to ficos on the torture, then include it, but the single word ‘killed’ (as opposed to ‘died’) has tremendous power.

“…and hold onto Him to the very end (Matthew 28, John 20-21).” I like this and think it’s tremendously important.