Re-cast Lord of the Rings. Badly.

I dunno why I was thinking of this as I prepared for work this morning.

Bilbo - Joe Pesci

Gandalf - Andrew Dice Clay
Aragorn - Dennis Leary
Boromir - Keanu Reeves
Legolas - Robert Pattinson
Gimli - Patton Oswalt
Frodo - Rupert Grint

Elrond - Andy Dick
Arwen - Lindsay Lohan
Galadriel - Roseanne Barr

Denethor - John Schuck in pure ham mode

Theoden - Johnny Depp doing one of his ‘characters’

Saruman - Jamie Farr
Gollum - Mr. T
Faramir - Gilbert Godfrey

I actually think Patton Oswalt could pull off Gimli.

But these couldn’t:
Gandalf - Gilbert Gottfried
Gollum - William Shatner
Aragorn - Will Smith
Frodo - Manute Bol
Bilbo - Yao Ming
Merry - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Pippin - Scottie Pippen :smiley:
Gimli - Gwyneth Paltrow
Elrond - Danny DeVito
Galadriel - Snooki
Arwen - Honey Boo Boo
Legolas - Ben Stiller

This could be fun, but I think there needs to be some “ground rules” - certain people cast in ANY role would ruin a film. (these are some of the first people to come to mind, but then I realized they would mess up the cast of any movie)

So to re-cast LOTR, you may NOT use:

  • Pauly Shore
  • Adam Sandler
  • Rosie O’Donnell
  • Ahhnold

Even Keanu Reeves and Lindsay Lohan are candidates for this exclusion list.


Gimli: RuPaul

Bilbo - Bill Murray
Gandalf - John Malkovich
Aragorn - Kevin Costner
Boromir - Tom Green
Legolas - Andy Dick
Gimli - Kevin Pollak
Frodo - Leonardo DiCaprio
Elrond - John Cleese
Arwen - Mila Kunis
Galadriel - Emily Procter
Denethor - Jack Nicholson
Theoden - Sean Connery

Sean Connery was considered for Gandalf & reportedly. Opulent understand th script. Dodged a bullet there.

Bilbo - Sam Elliot

Gandalf - Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Aragorn - Ryan Reynolds
Boromir - Don Cheadle
Legolas - Robin Williams
Gimli - Robert Pattison
Frodo - Ben Affleck

Elrond - John Turturo
Arwen - Janeane Garofalo
Galadriel - Anna Paquin

I thought you said “badly,” not “awesomely.” :smiley:

Tyler Perry presents: Lord of the Rings

Opulent understand?

Meesa tink yousa stole my precious!

Gandalf – Ron Jeremy
Gimli – Dave Chappelle
Legolas – Kevin Costner (you know, because Robin Hood had a bow, too!)
Arwen – Tina Fey
Saruman - Jim Carrey as Fire Marshall Bill
Gollum – Shaq

How embarrassing. I should just not type on my cell phone. Imeant to say earlier that reportedly Connery couldn’t understand the story .


Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Hollywood might be listening!!

Thread winner.

Tragically, we’ll never be able to cast the perfect Gandalf.

Sauron - Katie Couric

This thread is cracking me up.

My first thought was Johnny Depp (in any role, although I do greatly admire his abilities) as Aragorn. I mean, he could do a really good Aragorn because Depp can communicate a LOT with his eyes and he’s got a good voice, but his Tim Burton baggage would haunt the role too much.

Gandalf - Michael Caine

Btw Anyone else think Bean and Mortensen were cast the wrong way round ?