Re-post Your First Post Here.

[Colibri]

*Originally posted by Colibri *
**As several others have remarked, sloths, especially the three-toed variety, are competent, if extremely slow, swimmers. They are regularly found well offshore in large lakes and at sea. What exactly possesses a sloth to take to water, on the other hand, is one of several abiding mysteries of sloth psychology. (In most cases it’s surely not because they’re being “chased” by a snake!)

Regarding primates, gorillas in captivity are notorious for being prone to drowning in even a few feet of water, though I’m skeptical of the center-of-gravity argument.

Obviously many kinds of birds can swim. Aside from ducks, penguins and others too numerous to mention, even ostriches are reputed to be capable of making headway in the water. On the other hand, most small land birds such as sparrows would rapidly be doomed by a dip in the drink. Although their outer feathers shed rain and bird-bath water well enough, an immersion of any length of time would soon waterlog them (aquatic birds have more durable waterproofing), causing the loss of so much body heat they would die of hypothermia. However, one small bird that can “swim” quite well underwater (using its wings for propulsion) is the Dipper.

Most land birds that are capable of flight would devote all their energy to trying to fly up out of the water rather than even trying to swim, so the question is somewhat moot. I wouldn’t be surprised, though, if a chicken might not be capable of swimming if it set its “mind” (so to speak) to it, but I expect it would simply thrash around until it became waterlogged. Some chicken-shaped birds such as gallinules lack webbed feet but are quite capable of swimming. Any observations of swimming chickens?

Very interesting post about the swimming bat. I would have guessed they couldn’t.

Most, if not all, snakes are excellent swimmers.

The thought of a giraffe trying to make headway in the water indeed rather boggles the mind. Anyone care to try throwing one in? **

[lieu]

Nostradamus, that was freakin’ hilarious.

I think my first was in response to a Sharon Stone thread where I said I wished
that Kimono Dragon had bit her tit off instead of her husband’s toe.
::pause::
Yep, a Kimono Dragon. :o

I’d just publicly diss robed myself for everyone’s amusement. Yes, I do watch the Discovery Channel.
Yes, I do know it’s Komodo. No, my brain fart did not deserve to be cut :heh heh:: any slack.

Some gal slew me in a nice way, I don’t remember who she was but, if you’re still out there,
thanks for the polite reminder that I can be a seasonal idiot.

[Shadowfox]

I can’t remember what my very first post to the AOL SDMB board, but this was my first post to this web-based incarnation that I could find.

Welcome

My post itself was nothing memorable, but I still liked my signature line from that time

"Brought to you by the Ministry of Silly Walks"

[Oicu812]

Hello all.

My name is Ron, and I figured that this thread would be the proper place to post my first message on this board.

I was recently (read yesterday) turned on to this board, and have spent a considerable amount of time trying to catch up.

Having adminned a UBB message board for quite a while, I am impressed by the variety and quality of the regulars here.

Also, let me express my deepest heartfelt condolences on the passing of WallyM7. After performing a search for all posts by him, I am truly sorry that we never had a chance to interact. He really seemed to be the best of us on the Net.

So, with that said, I am proud to be the junior member of such an august company.

O

[GIGObuster]

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=79035

Again though. Why is Fascism considered right wing?

Using a definition of Fascism from the dictionary, one can say that a Fascist is a person that is looking for a government that will legislate in favor of prejudice and keep the private ownership of the means of production. With the government actively removing any obstacle the companies might encounter, like those pesky unions.

Of course it is wrong to call all right wingers Fascists, the problem is that a good number who support the right wing are. This is an important difference, I can say that virtually all leaders of the right are indeed not fascists, but the reason why accusations like that become “common knowledge” is because the leadership does not make unequivocal proclamations against the fascist behavior of some of their members. (Like not condemning the use of non-Florida citizens, to stop the vote counting in Florida by literally pushing people around)

Around the time L.B. Johnson signed the laws in favor of desegregation and civil rights the old democratic segregationists (fascists indeed) left the Democratic Party. But for some reason I will never understand, the Republican Party of Lincoln accepted many of the former segregationists. And now Bush (and even McCain!) decline to say anything in public against the confederate flag. But the most annoying thing is that in private or outside the media lights the leaders of the right do behave more fairly with the people. Look at Ashcroft making note that he had confirmed more black judges in his state that the former governor. When that was “revealed” many extreme rank and file members of the right popped a vein.

The reason why I bring all this is that many people think the right wing is not (In the open) actively looking to get rid politically of the fascist elements in their mist. It seems many in the right wing leadership do not appreciate the extreme members behavior, but unfortunately politics is getting the best of them to allow very extreme members to do behavior that does not even get a reprimand.
I personally say that it is unfair to call the right wing fascist, but I understand why many liberals think so.

The only change I would make is that McCain eventually did change his opinion regarding the confederate flag. Other than that, it is scary how relevant that post still is. Especially in light of Tom Delay’s behavior regarding the airport security issue (Horrors! Unions!).

I was expecting to be criticized for that post (including the grammar) but I got no reply against. I was afraid I was going to be ignored like many newbies, but Guinastasia expanded on my post in a way I liked. That counted to me like the “welcome to the board” message I never got.

Thank you Guin.

[Sapphire_Bullet]

Originally seen 08May2000:

mac and cheese with KETCHUP!!! yummy!
potato chips dipped in ketchup - just like french fries, i swear it!
nutella…ick.
[/quote]

A thing of genius, to be sure.

[wolfstu]

I wasn’t going to post at all, but a freind of mine asked me too, and looked pretty disappointed when I said, “I can’t.”

So here it is: In Arthur’s [ thread. (Sorry to make you scroll down, but copy-pasting would be a little bothersome, as you can see.)

This was quickly followed by a sort of “What have I done?” post:[url=“http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56518”]Using this message board]("). The OP is my second board post.

[Shera]

Well, here is my first post. Obviously pre-discovery of the preview button. It’s embarassing really. This was in a thread about what dopers have in their cars.

I just got my car three weeks ago and I have already go a pretty good collectiom going. Let’s see:

1.Sheeps Skin Steering wheel cover
2.picture of Paramhansa Yogananda
3.class of '99 graduation tasel
4.Tapes
-Beachboys
-2 Dar Williams
-My Mix
-My Childhood Songs tape
5. About 5 sweaters( I take put them on in the morning when it is cold and take them off when I get cold. I never remember to bring them in)
6.A half full bottle of V8 Splash ( which probably isn’t any good anymore, but I haven’t thought to bring it to a garbage can)
Registation, Smog certifaction, Proof of insurance

In trunk
A jack, pare tire, Spare liscence plate, a few screw drivers a box for spark plugs, a slightly used air filter and a bag of stuff that needs to go to the Dry Cleaner but will probablt never make it there.

I am looking at this list and starting to seriously rethink my lifestyle. Hmm maybe so order would be good.

Ugh! It’s almost painful to read, my eyes are throbbing.

[wolfstu]

And, I think that marks the first time I’ve hit the “Submit” button by mistake. The link structure is included, but not the (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=55931). This was my first post. Again, you’ll have to scroll a bit.

[saepiroth]

the double nostril has an actual purpose… there is a small node that swells on alternating sides every few hours… it enhances the ability to smell, but it blocks airflow significantly.
so… one hole to breathe, one to smell. you can figure out which side yours is active on.

try it- even when your nose is clear, it is harder to breathe through one nostril, as it is partially blocked.

however, as a design function, having no nostril separator wouldn’t be a problem as long as the bone structure inside remained normal. so that actress probably dosn’t have any problems, aside from the asctetic effect.

right here.

it beat some story i made up about biting my thumb off by about 40 minutes, thankfully.

you know, this is the only of my first 6 posts that i didn’t make stuff up in to sound “smart”. i guess, at that point i wasn’t comfortable enough to let down my facade of being much more intelligent than i actually am.

[Khadro]

From: Anagrams Of Your SD Name!!

I feel so ripped off…

the only anagram I can get from my name is

Dark Ho… and given I am about the whitest person I know, that just makes no sense.

Unless you want me to include Hordak, which is my alternate name in any case.

Followed 2 minutes later by:

I cannot believe I wasted my first post on that.

GAH.

[Larry_Griffin-Kentzel]

[sub][sup]My First Post[/sup][/sub]

…and a good time was had by all…

I posted this the day after my first Dope Fest, which I attended as DrMatrix’s SO (registered as Cajun Man, but had not yet posted). Needless to say, I had a fabulous time and met some of the best Dopers on the board.

[Ruby]

Aack. I’m runnin’ with the big dogs now!

It’s been a love affair ever since!

[Mudshark]

I can’t find it, but it was a list of Frank Zappa songs that had place names in the titles.

[ElwoodCuse]

It’s in this thread right here about the existence of God. I quoted the relevant passage of The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy.

And I got props from SPOOFE!

[Otto]

My very first post, minus the moderator-added link, from “Comments on Cecil’s Columns”:

Some points regarding Cecil’s recent column on same-sex marriage:

1. He states “No one disputes that the original purpose of marriage laws was to facilitate procreation.” Human procreation preceded the codification of marriage laws by several million years. Marriage’s original purpose was to facilitate the acquisition, consolidation and transfer of property.

2. He has mischaracterized the Vermont Supreme Court ruling. The court did not rule that “marital rights should be extended to homosexual couples.” The court unanimously found that the state must extend all the rights and privileges of marriage to same-sex couples. The state’s failure to do so violates the state constitution’s Common Benefits clause. The Hawaii Supreme Court made a similar ruling, that although a later constitutional amendment made the state’s refusal to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples legal, failure to extend “marital rights” to same-sex couples violated the state’s equal rights amendment.

3. Marriage is a fundamental right in the United States, and denial of that right is precisely on par with miscegenation laws.

4. He cited no source for his 167,000 American same-sex households raising children, but a visit to the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund website finds a 1997 estimate of six to 14 million children with lesbian or gay parents. Even if you don’t accept that figure, simple math would seem to dictate that in a country with a gay population estimated at anywhere from 10 to 30 million, more than 167,000 same-sex couples are raising children. Still, how many children have to be deprived of legally married parents before it’s an injustice, and since marriage is not limited to mixed-sex couples based on their ability to procreate, what do children really have to do with the discussion anyway? Which leads me to…

5. He states that “the state’s chief motivation in promoting marriage remains the orderly propagation of the species.” In three different state supreme courts (Alaska, Hawaii and Vermont) the argument that child-rearing issues justified denying same-sex couples the right to marry was advanced, and in each of those courts the argument was rejected. To my knowledge, no court in the land has upheld a ban on same-sex marriage on the basis of procreation.

6. He wonders at the “problem” of “wiseacre straight roommates waltz[ing] into city hall and demanding a marriage license.” So what if they do? Mixed-sex couples marry for reasons of convenience all the time and they are not questioned by the State. And the last I heard, having sex was not a requirement for married couples.

7. Finally, he claims that same-sex marriage is a matter for legislatures rather than courts. Denial of marriage to same-sex couples is a denial of a fundamental right. Congress and the several states are unwilling to rectify this denial, thus the courts are the appropriate venue in which to pursue the securing of that fundamental right.

Within two days I got not-flamed by Monty and a reply directly from Cecil, and the thread corrupted shortly thereafter.

[Jack_Batty]

Where’s Jack been? [sub]just in case anyones wondering …[/sub]

I’m still kicking. I’ve been in a mood lately so I haven’t posted much, but I did use my newly available free time to put the search engine through its paces, and actually found my first post from last year … in the What’s your screen name origin? in IMHO …

I just got my registration working, so I thought this forum would be the perfect place for my first post.

Way back in college I was a dedicated subscriber to National Lampoon magazine. In one issue, there was an article suggesting names for rock bands (no doubt Dave Barry read this issue as well). One of the suggestions under the Country-Punk category was: Cowboy Bob and the Jackbatties. For some reason, this absolutely cracked me up. I’ve used the alias Jack Batty ever since (what is a jackbattie?).

P.S. - I have to say that WallyM7 is the reason I took a shine to this message board. Until recently I considered most message boards as havens for flame wars and dumb blond jokes. The first thing I read here was Wally’s cyber-sex rap; I haven’t stopped laughing and/or soiling myself since.

Pretty sappy, huh?

[alice_in_wonderland]

Back to that pesky old spelling thing…

(BTW - I appologize if going back to messages is a faux pas - I’ve never posted here before…)

Anyhow, up here in Canada, where we have embraced the metric system with all the fervour of a drunk urinating in the street, “metre” is most definitely the ONLY spelling that we can get away with when speaking about the unit of measurement.

Just the same as litre and centre. (Although I have no justification for centre.)

Meter is used, as previously mentioned, to refer to things like a parking meter, or an odometer.

However, we in Canada appreciate the loosness with which those south of the border employ the English language, including such charming colloquialisms as “fishes” (the plural of fish, incedentally, is “fish”) if only for the novelty.

Anyhow, back to the programme…

Al.

[Jervoise]

Ah, back in the days of my first post… Well, actually…

This is my first post!

I’ve been lurking in these parts for quite some time (and I like you guys!), but today I finally - for better or for worse - waive my right to remain silent

So here’s a big hello from me to everyone, especially to you Australian Dopers - your numbers are boosted by one!

If you want me, that is…

[mjolley]

Like the person before me, this is my first post…I had accumulated a fair amount of posts at another board, and since it had a very small base of active users, many of whom didn’t like me (and don’t get me started on the IRC clusterfuck) and a long-standing schizm with the administrator, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to see if there wasnt another message board I could really proceed to “get my roll on” with, so to speak.

This board has scared me into submission though, what with the post volume and the rampant hate in the pit (nice hate, btw), so I havent posted until now.

In Other News…Greetings from the Louisville Metro Area! The Armpit of the Nation! The Nation’s 50th Largest Metro Area, according to the 2000 Census, yet still too small for a major league anything team, or anything of note at all! If you’re not thinking about suicide yet, you will be!

…and I’m spent…