marshmallow: This was discussed, a little, earlier in the thread. Many of us, like Poe, have felt that odd sense of temptation (to jump when at a high place, etc.)
And, yes, someone who is severely mentally ill might fail in resisting the temptation. I’m pretty sure that some suicides are purely impulsive and not planned out.
(I try to stay away from railroad tracks, because I always feel the same perverse temptation to jump under the wheels. I’m pretty sure I won’t do such a damn fool thing, but the very impulse of “do it…do it…do it…” is really irritating.)
That seems like kind of an awkward tool for the job. It’s difficult to hold something that long aimed at a vital part of yourself, and difficult to operate the trigger from that angle. And if you don’t control the muzzle direction carefully and rigidly, the muzzle climb on firing could easily deflect (most of?) the charge away from where you thought you had aimed.
Also, a lot of people have a really silly idea about shotguns. Namely that a single shot produces a wall of absolute destruction about 3 feet across just a few inches beyond the muzzle. Not so.
I’m not sure if the person suffering from misconceptions here is the would-be suicide or usedtobe. Probably both.
Thanks OP for the interesting analogy. I know exactly what you’re talking about when it comes to vomiting; the comfort and relief of letting go to get things over with, and sometimes even sticking a finger down your throat to start it if you’re feeling nauseated but not yet enough to throw up.
However, I’m not sure I can say the same about suicide. Just like everyone else, I have toyed with the idea in my head for years due to depression, but it never transcended the intellectual phase into an actual physical urge that needs to be taken care of by whatever means, let alone hanging.
I guess that in order for someone to reach that stage, they need to have gone into the final phase during which they would have already lost their balance and sanity to the point of going against their nature by ending their existence.
That’s how I think people take their own lives: temporary insanity. I doubt that there has ever been a cold and analytical suicidal tendency, even if the person in question purports to convey theirs is.
Oh, I’m sure there have been some cold and rational suicides.
One form is “If I die now, my kids will inherit more money for college, but if I linger, my medical bills will eat up their inheritance.”
I’m sorry to say I know of one such case personally.
You might also include suicidal heroism in wartime. The guy who covers a grenade with his body isn’t mentally ill…although the decision might be a tad impulsive.
If you’re hung up on the rope,
Then You’re the Dope!
Draw a line 'cross your neck?
Then YOU go to Heck!
(go kick your chair off the deck)
…and don’t ask Me for Hope…
Sometimes you don’t even know it’s a suicide. Therapists say some single car wrecks may very well be suicide. I knew a guy who ran his car off the road going fast but did not hit a tree. A year later he killed himself due to severe depression.
Is there any relation to the Fear of heights thing?
I, like many others, suffer a fear of heights (or falling from heights to be pedantic). When put in a situation involving a dangerous height, I picture the action of falling so strongly, that after some time it becomes almost an impulse to jump.
I know LOGICALLY this is insane, but the concentrated feeling of fear becomes interpreted in my brain as a command or urge. I even semi-rationalise the urge: ‘At least this fearful situation it will be over if I jump’.
Maybe, suicidal thoughts (which are very strong and way outside the zone of normal thought) are so - I dont know the right word -*** disruptive*** to the normal process that the brain interprets them differently.
Sorry for the feeble explanation - it’s hard to put these things into words.
Wallaby: We’ve mentioned this a bit upthread. I think there are similarities, but also differences.
Even perfectly healthy people will feel that strange “impulse” to jump from a high place. The most sane people I know have told of feeling it.
The same people, with a pistol in their hands, feel nothing. They do not feel a comparable “impulse” to put the pistol to their heads and pull the trigger. The same people don’t feel a ghost impulse to jump under the wheels of a train as it rattles past.
Seriously depressed people sometimes do feel comparable ghost impulses regarding sudden self-destructive activities…but not all of them, and not always.
People with severe suicidal depression are wise not to have guns or poison in their homes, because the “ghost impulse” can be disturbing, even if it isn’t fatal. It can lead to confusing sense of obsession and compulsion.
For what it’s worth, sometimes, at the edge of a very high place, I feel the same (ABSURD!) sense of temptation to push someone else over the edge! It, too, is a completely meaningless illusion of an impulse, an idea that has no chance whatever of being realized. When holding a gun or standing near a moving train, I do not have any kind of comparable ghost impulse regarding shooting or pushing another person.
I think our brains may have some kind of specific “hard-wiring” regarding high places, possibly left over from our ancestry as arboreal creatures. Jumping from branch to branch was normal behavior, and what we feel at the edge of a high cliff might be the remnant of that, passed down over the millions of years.