A friend I’m quite close to is going through the preliminary stages of divorce (separation, etc.). He has one child, and he is 3. He said the kid, though once potty trained, had given that up.
I guess I’m worried about his kid, and wondering if this is unusual or if it’s just a typical reaction to the pain of the home breaking apart.
Stupid 50%.
lovelee
When kids that young experience earth shattering changes in their lives they do tend to regress. The little one is probably trying to get back to a place that feels safe and being a baby can feel very safe to an overwhelmed toddler. I hope your friend and their spouse keep the little one’s interests in the forefront after the divorce and try and make him inderstand that the divorce isn’t his fault and that neither mommy or daddy love him any less. His potty habits will return eventually.
A weird tidbit:
My parents separated when I was 6 months old.
My mom swears up and down that I acted weird for a long time after she left my father. She thinks I was missing him.
If that can happen to an infant, yeah, I could see how it would mess a 3 year old up.
That’s just awful 
Why are they divorcing? Is there no way they can work things out?
I just hate to see people with kids throw in the towel I understand it’s gotta be done sometimes, tho.
Hmmmm, I’m skeptical about a 6 month old missing daddy (but I don’t have kids and am not a child psychologist, so what do I know). Has your mom also told you that the cat or dog missed daddy, too?
My parent’s divorced when I was eight. Supposedly, there’s a whole host of thing’s that kids are going to go through when their parents divorce that I never went through (for example, I never wished my parents got back together), so it all depends upon the child I guess. The one thing that I’ve always wished I’ve known about the divorce is why. I’ve never gotten a satisfactory answer out of either of my parents and I know more about the whole nastiness than they think that I do.
It doesn’t sound unusual. My guess is stress.
In my case, I’ve got an 8 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. My wife and I have been separated since August, and until last week, we took turns living at the house week-on/week-off so that the kids wouldn’t have to move back and forth.
I’ve noticed that my son, who regularly wet his bed until he was 7 started doing it again these last few months, but only when he was living with his mom for the week. Never with me.
I’ll spare the boards the long version, but it’s obvious my son’s under a lot of stress when he lives with his mom. When it’s my week, I take care of my kids and talk with them and help them understand what’s going on without being too judgemental. It’s very rewarding to hear from family members that my kids appear to be more at ease during the weeks they live with me.
And SnoopyFan; of course it would be ideal if both parents were able to work things out. That’s what I wanted. It’s just not always possible. I tried for over 4 years. Mrs. Tonk wasn’t interested then or now. She’d rather snooze with clients.
Taxguy a 6 month old can certainly miss daddy. The thought procees is not very developed but babies that age have formed attachements with their caregivers and will notice when one is missing and even more profound to children that age is when the routine changes. When my husband came home from work it was like Christmas for our daughter at that age. When he was late coming home she would often fuss starting at his regular arrival time until he came home.
My dog would certainly miss my husband if he were no longer living at home too… I’m not sure about the cats though. 
My number one piece of advice to any couple getting divorced.
Don’t tell your children, “It’s all going to be okay.”
30 years after divorce, it’s still not okay for many children.
I guess my one tidbit of advice (I’m a child of divorced parents) is that the speech you give your kid(s) about divorce, whatever form it may take, shouldn’t be a one time thing. Many little reassurances through the process and throughout your child’s early life are needed, I believe. Kids’ attitudes and perceptions change dramatically throughout their young lives, and I think it’s quite important to continually “touch base” with them about how they are still loved and how the divorce affects them.
Overall, the divorce isn’t a one-time thing for kids, a major decision made and then they can move on. It’s something they’re going to live through for the rest of their lives (sharing weekends, splitting vacation time, watching each parent create a “new” life).
My parents divorced around that age, and really it was the least traumatic thing imaginable. When I got old enough to understand what happened, I understood why it was for the best, and was thankful that I got to have a life of peace instead of one of fighting and trauma. Today there are no last reprecussions, and I’m glad things worked out the way they did.
I know that I must be atypical, but at least you can rest knowing that divorce isn’t always catastrophic.
True, a major thing like a separation or divorce isn’t always catastrophic for a small child*, but I think that most of the time it is, and it’s completely natural for a kid to regress, become rigid or clingy, or start a comforting behavior that wasn’t present before (thumbsucking, for example). And yep, a 6-month-old infant will miss a loved one and exhibit depression when a parent or caretaker disappears.
*A 3-yo I know seems to be much calmer and progressing better since his mom left his dad to live with her parents. I guess the absence of an unstable, mentally ill, frequently and unpredictably angry person and the presence of several dependable, well-known, calm adults will do that. Go figure.
Wouldn’t it also depend on how the parents handle it?
Yes-parental management is crucial IMHO to the mental health of children. My choice was to walk away from a dispute that was staged at an inappropriate time/place.
My ex and I split when littlecats was quite young. She seems to have done well.
Contrast: a friend of mine has an attractive and intelligent daughter who is a cutter. He’s going nuts trying to figure out how to help his little girl. The only factor which he can trace is his divorce.
Trewlet was about 18 months old when the future ex and I split, about a year ago, and she’s happy as a clam either at home (with Mommy) or “on holidays” for a week or so each month with Daddy. She was old enough to recognize that things were different, but it didn’t seem to cause her any problems. I would imagine it might be different with a three year old, though.
I’m sure all stories here are anechdotal.
My ex and I separated/divorced when our kids were 3, 6 and 10. We were and are still friends and work together. I live only one block away from her and the house they grew up in. But every so often, the then-6-year-old(now 12) reveals things that were important to him that we didn’t realize at the time. He tells how he conspired with his then-3-year-old sister to try to get us back together. We never were mad with each other. We never critized the other to the kids. We were the atypical, above average divorcing couple. While the kids didn’t exhibit outward effects(to us), they obviously had them.