Realistic Quick Money Scemes

I am dangerously broke. I’m gonna have to borrow money to make rent. Worst yet, I’m gonna have to borrow money to make rent from a friend. And school is still a month away from being over with. I’m gonna get more hours at work, and am looking for a second job, but this is drastic times, and you know what they call for. So I need ideas for making money. Some ideas so far: [ul] [li]I have an extra kidney. I rarely use it, and I figure it’s worth quite a bit. []I have lots of ovum. I never use them. They’re worth quite a bit to those who don’t have any. []Hi, Opal! []I could attempt a big level money laundering operation. I think this is a good idea, because I have yet to meet someone who really understood what money laundering actually was. That means I’d have little compitition. I know it involves making money less illegal, but aside from that, I’m lost. Anyone with suggestions on money laundering may email them. []My (male) friend reminded me that I can always sell my body. Now, I’d like to stay away from this if at all possible, mostly because I live in a small city. Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to have your 9th grade math teacher for a john? Ick. []I’m good at faking illnesses. I could get perscriptions from my doctor and try selling them. Unfortuantely, I’m a bit too old for ADHD. Any ideas on illnesses I could fake? []Do they still buy blood plasma, and if so, where? In case you have been reading this with increasing horror, I am mostly kidding about all of them, in a desperate attempt to keep my spirits up. So don’t tell me not to sell drugs to kids, because I probably won’t. [/ul][/li]
On the realistic side, I am going to go through my clothes and sell anything with a good label to the high end consignment shop in town. That should get me $20-30 or so. Any suggestions on ways to make money along these lines, or along the lines above would be greatly apprechiated.

They do still buy plasma in places, paying up to $200 a month here in Omaha. Course, YMMV.


I’m in that same boat, Swimming Riddles. If I don’t cough up $200 by mid-April, I’ll lose any chance of ever having my book published, as my agent is going to rescind his offer on the basis of my not paying the retainer. Problem is, every penny Mrs. Rastahomie and I have coming in for the next three months is spoken for.

I don’t have anything of any real value to sell. I thought about selling my soul to the Devil, but he hasn’t shown up with a contract yet…

I am desperate too, Swiddles. I’m still waiting for my blssed loan refund. Once that arrives, I’ll be able to pay off all my bills and think seriously about moving out with a friend. Until then, I’m broke, living paycheck to paycheck, and thinking sadly of the dentist bill that I was never, ever be able to pay off.

I came up with an idea last week about “babysitting” a small child and then kidnapping him, but there are just too many details. I don’t have the energy.

I spent the last dollar of my last paycheck on a lotto ticket. I lost.

Money sucks.

Do absolutely anything you can for money. And when I say anything, I mean anything. Im talking Newspaper Routes. Busing tables for three bucks an hour. Wherever there is work, you have to get it. No time to sit and do nothing, you have to be making money. Check the local McDonalds, Burger King, Dairy Queen, Movie Theatre, anything. Also, your idea for selling stuff was good. Anything you think you can live without, sell. Garage sales are great. STOP BUYING ANYTHING NOT ABSOLUTELY NECCASSARY TO SURVIVE. Anything you can get generic, get it generic. The two cents do matter. They add up.

I might sound bossy, sorry if I do, just trying to help. Only my two cents, but I tend to think Im right :wink:

Job, shnob. She’s asking for a guaranteed get-rich-quick scheme, and I’ve got just the scheme!

If every one on the Teeming Minions sends me just one dollar, I can guarantee that I will get rich quick. and for a limited time, if each and every one of you trusting souls gives me two dollars, I personally guarantee that I will get even richer!


Well, as you are female, attractive, and internet savy, there’s always setting up a pay per view web site.

You still might end up with your ninth grade math teacher as one of your viewers, which is only slightly less icky than the idea of them as a john.

I’m assuming that hitting the parents up for cash is not a possibility.

Since you appear to be able to weather this crisis through a loan from your friend, I think the best advice is to keep doing what you’re doing to make money, and buy nothing not absolutely necessary for survival until you have a nest egg large enough to see you through the next crisis that appears.

Though if you do go for the adult web site idea, I bet you’d get lots of doper cutomers :wink: Just to help out ya know.



If you don’t have any other options, drop me an e-mail, I’d hate to see a budding author nipped in the bud, or even seriously set back.

Are you a talented writer? (Reader’s digest pays for submissions :))

Seriously, how about prostituting yourself to the Teeming Millions? Offer original, humorous, high quality sigs for a buck a piece, and watch 'em line up at your door! I’ve got a dollar…Give it a try, y’never know!
BTW - did the plasma thing in college (14 yrs ago). Got $10 for the first donation of the week, and $15 for the second. Seems to me you could only donate twice every ten days, or something like that. Juice and cookies were all right, but it was more hassle than it’s worth. Still got the small scar on my left arm from the repeated pokes (sorry- TMI!)


Dublos has it right.

Porn. Porn sells. Big time. You could make a couple of thousand a month, easy, just by showing your tits to strangers on a webcam for half an hour every night. No kidding.

And the income would triple if you showed more than that!

:wink: I’d pay a year’s subcription, no hesitation.

Ugh Swimming Riddles, are you sure you haven’t mixed up my life with yours, because if not, you sure did a good job summing up my life too. Sometimes I just don’t know if college is worth this bs . . . :frowning:

And not to one up you or anything (Since I hate when people do that to me), but atleast you have a job! I can’t even find a damn job right now. And stupidly, I decided to enroll in a graduate program here at my nice little expensive private thieving university. So now they are nickle and diming me for TWO programs at the same time. I swear, every time one department gets done bending your over and ramming it to ya, a department is in line right behind them to do it to you again.

I don’t know how joking you were about your list in the OP, but I’ve honestly wondered how much I could get for a damned kidney! I’m trying to get myself over the moral problem I have with selling eggs (hard to imagine bringing a kid into the world since I don’t even want any of my own). If I had transportation and decent blood pressure, I would donate plasma. If I had even a mildly decent body, I might consider the pron industry, but I can’t bear to be a BBW :rolleyes: The rest I haven’t considered, but now that you mention them . . .

God, just put me out of my misery right now!!!

My brother’s done the organ selling thing. It does pay a lot of money. He’s sold a kidney and an eye. Also two hearts and three livers. I’ve got no idea where the fuck he gets them from but people do pay a shitload for them. :slight_smile:

Women have the advantage when it comes to quick cash – if you’re reasonably attractive, there’s stripping. Women also have a leg up on men when it comes to tip-based jobs like serving in restaurants, and things that are just plain impossible for men to do, like donating eggs or renting out some womb space.

Otherwise, it’s penny-pinching, like what DrewG27 said. No more restaurant meals, even if it’s at McDonald’s. Reuse your teabags. Turn the heat down, and wear a sweater. Drop cable, find a cheaper ISP, find a cheaper long distance service, have a garage sale.

I’ve always wanted to run an ad in the National Enquirer or some other tabloid, something along the lines of …

Hurry! Time is running out! Send $1 to PO Box 666, Orlando FL 34760