The Indignant Sniff: A How-To Guide
How to Prepare When Your House . . . Well One * of Your Houses, Is in the Parade of Homes.
*Thanks to David Sedaris.
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[li]Paper or Plastic: Which industry should you own?[/li][li]Europe on $4,500 a day[/li][/ul]
“Well, Dears, I’m sort of…Violet” - Cutting off political discussions at parties before they start
“Lucille Bluth of Arrested Development - the Parodies Continue”
“Latest Ripostes to Hooligans with Cellphones at the Theater (Part XVI)”
“A Fortune-Hunter Tried to Steal My Innocent Daughter AGAIN!” - a cautionary tale
Oh, goodness gracious, that should be spelled THEATRE!! What WAS I thinking?
<falls back onto fainting couch, clutching salts>
“‘Tramp’ or ‘Golddigger:’ Which is your son’s new lady-friend?”
“Sniff, Gesture, Ignore, Innuendo: How Best to be Dismissive in All Situations”
“If Your Daughter’s Obviously Inferior Suitor Attended a More Prestigious University Than You Did: How to Maintain the Air of Superiority.”
“Redecorating a room for under $100,000”
“Drama in Real Life: The Doorbell was Ringing and The Butler Was Gone”
“The Male Organ: What it Might Look Like”
This month in Talking Points: Witty and profound Comments on Operas You Didn’t Understand
Next month in Talking Points: Polite Things to Say at Any Politician’s Funeral
Saying “Well, I never!” when you really have. A lot.
How To Ignore Your Flaming but Closeted Son’s Affair with the Groundskeeper
[QUOTE=jk1245"The Male Organ: What it Might Look Like"[/QUOTE]
Maybe I’m just tired but this made me laugh my ass off.
Naw… it was really funny.
Obscure but Proper Insults. This Month: “She’s rather milk-in-first, darling” and “The sort of people who buy their silver”
Damn it, Eve! You stole mine!
“Butt-Ugly Hats: A Tribute to the Queen Mother”
How to be dotty without the cliche of a red hat or wearing purple. (So overdone these days.)
Finding the Right Surrogate Mother For You Grandbaby.
Prissy or Dotty? Or can you be both? The experts face off!
Prissy or Dotty? Or can you be both? The experts face off!
Oh I think it’s definitely possible to be both! (I was about to say I would of course defer graciously to Eve’s opinion, but on more mature consideration it sounded weirdly uncomplimentary.) For example:
- “The Perils of VCL (Visible Corset Line)”
- “Naming The Skins On One’s Fox Stole”
- “Altoids: Aphrodisiacs In Disguise?”
- “Those Racy Spectator Pumps”
- “Darling Cologne Bottles As Purse Flasks”
The prim and distinctly addled among us want to know!
Veb
And exactly what do YOU mean by “expert”, Matt? Hmmmm? ::taps toe::
My WORD! You just don’t talk about Such Things in PUBLIC!!!
Smelling Salts-a comparison test to find the best!
Should that be reserved to the under 60 crowd ? 
“Field-testing The New 2005 Lorgnettes”
Fiction : “The Day The Caviar Ran Out”