Really unfortunate brand names

To shed some light on both, Nova does not mean “doesn’t go” in spanish. Nova means the same thing in spanish as it does in english, a star the suddenly increases its output. You can say something “doesn’t go” in spanish by saying “no VA” with a strong accent on the VA, sorry I don’t know how to do the accents. But same as in english you would not refer to a non-working car is not-going, but rather not-working.

As for Colgate, it might in very stilted spanish spoken with an Argentinian accent mean “hang yourself”, but if you want to tell someone to hang themselves you would say “cuELgate” or more likely “aHORcate”, in this case both the pronunciation and the actual words are different. And AFAIK Colgate sell just great all over the spanish speaking world.

We have “Drugs For Less” and “The Speed Shop” right next to each other here.

Actually, there is a joke in Argentina that says “Colgate… the only toothpaste that comes with a spare rope”

Colgate does mean “hang yourself” in “Argentinian”, but it didnt affect their sales AFAIK.

How about Happy Boy Margarine?

And don’t forget Twinkies, Ho Hos, and Ding Dongs.

I think is was Satan that found this site:

http://www.firegirl.com/

Anyhow, they have a few really, really hot hot sauces with the following names:

Ass Blaster

ANALize This XXX Garlic Hot Sauce

Screaming Sphincter Hot Sauce

Yes, they are intentional but funny. Go through and read some of the reviews, some of them will leave you giggling.

Also, there’s a funeral home in Littleton, CO named Drinkwine Mortuary across the street is a liquor store.

I always wondered about the Toilet Duck…

I used to live across the street from the Ticky-Poo Laundromat. Couple months ago, my friend down in Washinginton State (she used to live here) was surfing the 'net and ran across a picture of the place on one of those “wierd picture” sites.

It’s common for chemists in Ireland to be just called after the name of the propietor. I saw one owned by Enda Horan. Nice Irish name in big letters over the shop. Took a snap of it for the Swedish friends, as the shopfront to them seems to be advertising the towns “Only Whore”.

The Irish foreign minister used to be called “Dick Spring”. His wife always looked a bit uncomfortable.

I’ve thought of a couple more - a shop in Oxford, England, called

AIDS for the disabled
“Why shouldn’t they get it too?”

And an insurance company I saw in Bloomington, IN, called:

Wankier Insurance
Your current insurer not wanky enough for you? Call us. We’re much bigger tossers.

Chock Full-a Nuts, the most heavenly cupfull moneeeeeeeeeey can buy….

I always think of it as payless - don’t get paid. The factory must be a sweatshop. Or you don’t have to pay for the shoes. Payless shoes, you pay what they’re worth.

I thought I had been the first to post “Anusol”.

We have several oddly named businesses in my area: Screw Machine, Smokey’s Speed Shop, and Copass Car Repair. Heh heh.

During their first season, the MLS team the Kansas City Wizards were named the Kansas City Wiz. Their original slogan? “You gotta go!”

People in the UK and Ireland smoke fags [slang for cigarettes] and in the UK you can get 6 faggots in gravy in the freezer sections of supermarkets …

I alwasy wondered about the German golfer Bernhard Langer since langer means p*nis here in Ireland …

Also in Japan here…
A brand of hair gel called Nudey.
A kind of chocolate snack called Collon.
And yes, you can still buy Creap here.

I remember seeing a liquor store called Belcher’s. And there was an art museum in Louisville, KY called the Speed Museum. My mother drove me and my sister up there once and we made numerous jokes about it (ie: "Speed…ha ha ha…do they give out free samples? Hey Mom, can we go see the Smack museum tomorrow?)

A diner I visited in Utah was advertising pies for sale and one of them was a Marionberry pie (Like the, er, uh, rather controversial mayor of Washington.) I was afraid to ask what was in it.

B & M baked beans.

The ‘&’ is pretty small, so it looks like they are BM beans. True, beans WILL give you a bowel movement, but I don’t think people want to be reminded of that.

Ah, I’m cracking up.

As for Kum-and-Go convenience stores, that’s nothing compared to Kum-and-Go’s old rival in my hometown —P & P. It stands for Provisions and Petrol, but they never posted that anywhere, so all you got was P&P. Everybody started calling it Piss and Poop, but at school we called it the Piss and Shit Gas Station. We all got in trouble for that.

Thankfully, P & P closed down last year, only to be replaced by Kwik-Star!!!. I never understood why they spelled Quick wrong. What the hell’s wrong with Quick Star? An issue for another thread: why do gas stations always use a K in place of Q?

When I was using the laundry room at a campsite in Scotland last year, my friend was rather tickled to see a Speed Queen washer. For him, it always conjures up images of recreational drug-using gay men.

I seem to recall Smack My Ass And Call Me Sally hot pepper sauce being advertised in a magazine some time ago. Always thought that was a cool name for a product, but not something a hostess would like to offer her guests during a sophisticated dinner party.