If we’re voting (and if we’re not, I’ll be the first), I’d rather work with Melanie than the OP. The OP is the kind of co-worker that makes me stabby.
I side with the OP because she is lead on putting together the agenda and with this responsibility (however small and inconsequential it is in the Grand Scheme), she should get to dictate the process for getting this job done. If Melanie has a problem with this process, she can change it when it’s her turn to handle the agenda prep.
To me it’s a question of respect, for both sides. The OP isn’t asking anyone to do any favors; she’s just doing the thankless job that is expected of her. By deviating from custom practice, Melanie is not respecting the tiny extra work (however small and inconsequential it is in the Grand Scheme) this causes the OP. Melanie is really just focused on getting her priorities taken care of.
That said, the OP should let this one go. The best time to have corrected Melanie was immediately when she sent the IM. “Thanks for the reminder! I’ll make sure this is added to the agenda. Sorry to be a pain, but next time can you wait until I send out the email and then reply to that? It’s more convenient to me that way because then everyone’s feedback is in one place. Much appreciated and take care!”
The OPer is presumably getting paid to work; being thanked is not a requirement or even an expectation.
Melanie is trying to get a topic added to the weekly agenda by communicating her request to the agenda keeper. If everyone’s focus was simply on moving the business forward, instead of creating roadblocks, HOW or WHEN they put in the request would be a non-issue. The agenda keeper’s job is to FACILITATE the process, not frustrate it.
The OPer should ask herself this: If the President of the company asked to put a topic on the agenda, would she have sent him back the same reply? If not, why? Either the process is too precious to be deviated from, or it’s not.
If it’s important to Melanie that it makes the agenda, then she can damn well follow protocol and submit it like everyone else. Fucking snowflakes.
I’d absolutely leave it off and when she bitches, reiterate to the meeting at large how items are submitted.
(that’s why I’m self employed…)
This is not an attempt to shift responsibility:
This is:
The difference in those messages should be readily obvious.
[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
Melanie is trying to get a topic added to the weekly agenda by communicating her request to the agenda keeper. If everyone’s focus was simply on moving the business forward, instead of creating roadblocks, HOW or WHEN they put in the request would be a non-issue. The agenda keeper’s job is to FACILITATE the process, not frustrate it.
[/quote]
Sounds good in theory, doesn’t work in practice. If every meeting attendee chooses to follow their own method for communicating agenda items to the OP, do you not see how that needlessly make her job more complicated and inefficient than it needs be? I can clearly see that. If the end goal is to ensure the shit ends up being talked about in the meeting, the best process is the one that ensures this happens. Obviously, the OP has identified the process the works for her, and since facilitating the process is her responsibility, she gets to call the shots for that. Otherwise, she shouldn’t be held responsible for when items get left off the agenda.
Melanie’s focus on moving the business forward is great, but there is no reason she can’t have this focus and comply with the OP’s request. It’s not an either or thing.
The President of the company could show up at tomorrow’s meeting, rest his feet on the table, fart lengthily, and then completely derail the agenda by talking about his vacation plans for an hour. I’m certain the OP or anyone else wouldn’t say one word to him about it. Executives and peons are never expected to adhere to the same rules, so your argument fails quite a bit with this.
Absolutely. What is so hard about managing your own data that you’re unable to be sure to do your job? If you have been given the information you’re responsible for presenting it. How you make that happen is a demonstration of your own professionalism.
Playing a petty game with a coworker about following the silly “time to submit the information” rules just because you can really smacks of “not ready for this kind of responsibility” to me if I’m in charge.
Just my two cents.
Exactly so. I don’t know why Melanie couldn’t have managed her own data properly so she could get it onto the agenda.
And that is a pretty hilarious statement from a guy who said this:
Are you serious? So if you are presenting information to a coworker you need to know exactly how to deliver it in a way each one will remember? Let’s see: Martha likes voicemails for things because she’s old and doesn’t like computer technology, better send her a voicemail. Bob likes a printed memo, better get one in his inbox. Jessica likes emails, Sean likes IMs, Barney wants Post It notes in the shape of dogs.
You’re an adult. You have a job. You are responsible to present a meeting. Someone gives you a piece of information for the meeting YOU are responsible for. You are really going to whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine that they didn’t give it to you in your preferred medium? That tells me that you are lacking in skills needed to do your job. You’re unable to manage information efficiently without it being given to you just exactly how your precious self needs it. Should I cut the crusts off the bread on your sandwich we have for our working lunch too?
The idea that people here are actually advocating that she leave the information out of the meeting as an “oopsie!” is bewildering. It really does make the “who is more bitchy and backstabbing at work?” thread a tougher call. If you’re someone who forgets things easily it is on YOU to figure out the best way for you to manage your shortcoming. We all have them. Establish some kind of method that works for you. Alert on your phone? Google calendar? Outlook note? Whatever. Your way of managing it shouldn’t be shooting a flare up that screams “HEY I AM INCOMPETENT AND RIGID AND NEED THINGS MY WAY!”
As someone already pointed out, the OP had no problem remembering Melanie’s information to the point that she was able to make a big “o hai this bugs me can I be unprofessional about it somehow?” thread about it. Forgetting to add it in doesn’t seem to be the problem. Wanting to bitch about it and have it sent to her EXACTLY how she wants it seems to be the problem.
Dafuq? It’s not Melanie’s job to make the agenda; it’s the OP’s. Mel gave her input, and if the OP can’t be assed to figure out some mechanism to get it in there, like **smith **said, she’s demonstrating the kind of maddeningly useless office drone approach to work that makes office life a close approximation of hell. Remind yourself somehow. You’re the boss of the agenda, so you collect input, then you put it together. Figure it out, it’s not that hard, and don’t boohoo because someone didn’t relay the info the way you like it.
Good lords.
ETA: Ninja’d. This is in response to Bosstone.
I’m picturing being the boss and ultimately having this big whinefest brought to my office.
So you’re coming to my office to tell me that Melanie sent you the information you needed for the meeting but you didn’t like that she sent in an IM and not on the day you wanted it, but a day earlier? You really feel like this is something you need me to take care of for you?
And you’re somehow mad at her because she won’t send you reminders on how to do your own assignment? Pack your shit, lady, you’re fired.
Sorry, OP, I think you’re being unreasonable; however, I wonder if that’s partly because of the nature of my job versus yours?
I manage space and I need to solicit info from loads of different people in order to do that. Honestly, if I recieved a request scrawled on the back of a dirty cocktail napkin I would take it and give it the same care and consideration as if it had been delivered on monogrammed stationary flow in by by carrier pigeon. I don’t get to dictate other people’s business processes just because they are different than mine.
However, I am in a service role. My job depends on me helping people get what they need. Perhaps if my job had a different focus I could demand things be submitted on my timetable.
Anybody want to point out what way this is not a reasonable request? Was it rude? Did it tell Melanie that her item would not be on the agenda? Was it the kind of aggressive-passive response that was receieved in return?
These people work for the same company, and are supposed to have the same goal, and put their personal interests aside in pursuit of that. I don’t see that missing from the OP’s message. It is clearly missing from Melanie’s response.
If it were me I would interpret the exact opposite of her request, put that on the agenda, and when she flips out the meeting, I’d say “oh, since you sent it over IM, I just paraphrased it as best I could remember.” Actually I would do that even if she submitted it correctly, because I hate everybody.
ZipperJJ:
Passive-aggressive shit is NOT a good thing to display in a corporate environment.
Not at all.
Yes.
Kelly’s response can be netted down to “Hey Melanie! Yeah no worries. I’m going to pretend we didn’t have this conversation. The agenda item you requested will not be added unless you reply to Monday’s email. Good Day.”
Kelly does not indicate that she is going to make the slightest effort to add the agenda item unless Melanie follows “the process”.
And, not to put too fine a point on it, Kelly is setting an agenda for a weekly meeting, she’s not inspecting a 747. Some tasks require rigid adherence to the process, some don’t.
You’re trying to add something into the mix that wasn’t there. Here is the message from the OP:
It doesn’t say anything about not putting the item on the agenda. It is a perfectly polite and reasonable request for Melanie to send a reminder. Perhaps the OP is overloaded with work. Melanie has no idea why. It says nothing about leaving the item off the agenda either. There’s nothing at all wrong with that request. Melanie could have responded in any number of ways indicating she wouldn’t be able to provide that reminder. Instead she responded this way:
It’s rude. It indicates an intent not to cooperate. It is an attempt at intimidation. If Melanie had a problem with the request from the OP, a problem I can’t fathom, she should have taken it up with her superior, not issued that crude response to a reasonable request.
No, to me it’s polite confusion. She’s jokingly pointed out that he already has the information he requires from her, and there’s no need for her to provide the information a second time. She’s trying not to provoke a fight by enquiring about his organistional skills and memory, by being nice about it, and finishing on a smiley.
She displayed the very opposite of rudeness, to me.