Setup:
[ul]
[li]Persons B, W1 and W2 are working on a project.[/li][li]B is the boss, W1 & W2 are working under him[/li][li]The work output of both W1 and W2 are of similar quality and quantity (as evidenced by previous reviews)[/li][li]W1 has noticed that [/li][LIST]
[li]When W1 sends an email to B (with status update, question, etc) no response is given, or the response too late, e.g. many days later[/li][li]When W2 sends an email to B, a response is sent promptly[/li][li]Many times, W1 sends an email to B (including W2 in the email), no response is given from B, W2 then responds to the email from W1, and then B promptly responds to W2’s response and not to the original email from W1[/li][li]B’s emails addressed to W2 are much more friendly (including “Hi”, “Great job!”, “Cheers!”) than the emails addressed to W1 (which include no niceties and are dry statements related to the project).[/li][/ul]
[/LIST]
In general , how would you handle such a situation?
As an added fact, B & W2 are both male, while W1 is female, and she suspects that maybe her gender is playing a role in B’s behavior.
If you want to address the situation, I would suggest not projecting any of your conclusions into it. I doubt W1 is thinking about saying “and you know, I think it’s because I’m a woman”. But you know what? Just leave W2 out of it entirely. If W1 feels her e-mails aren’t being addressed adequately W1 should stick with that. I’m not a sexist and I don’t ignore my employees but I would react much better to someone saying they need faster or clearer feedback from me than if they said I responded to some other employee faster. Even if true, the later sounds whiny and I don`t like whiny employees.
There are a lot of possible reasons that B is treating communications from W1 and W2 differently, including the one that is mentioned.
One option is for W1 to always copy W2 on emails to B. That way, if no response is received, W2 can re-request a response from B.
If W1 and W2 work well together and are relatively non-competitive, another option is for all email communications with B to be sent by W2 (with cc copy to W1). Then W1 can look for other non-email opportunities to improve her working relationship with B (e.g., W1 presentation during meetings; W1 makes sure to receive credit for ideas or contributions in drafts etc).
You know, it’s entirely possible that B simply trusts one workers’ judgment, but not the other. If I distrust a worker’s judgment, I’m going to read everything immediately, and respond right away with the direction I want them to go in. If I trust them, I take everything as an “FYI” unless it explicitly states that they are waiting fro an answer from me.
And there’s another point: Are the e-mails similar in tone, and in the blatant-ness (Blatancy? better word? Be nice, I’m on post oral surgery drugs!) of the requests? A very busy person will respond right away to a short, informative e-mail which states a clear request. “Please let me know which option you prefer.” Otherwise, they get put off until later, and later, and later. . .
During our busy season, I try to put my requests in the subject line of my e-mails.
Also, if you need B’s response, make sure B is listed in the “To:” line of the e-mail. If I’m “CC’d” I assume this just an FYI.
Actually, that’s exactly what she is saying to me. She will not of course state that to anyone in her workplace, but she gets the distinct feeling that gender may be playing a role. And this is not unheard of. I got the idea for starting this thread from reading a related quote from another thread
Bully for you.
FYI, she will not go to her boss and say “why do you respond to W2’s emails faster than mine?”. I also don’t think that going to her boss and asking for faster feedback will help, as she has requested it in the past, with little to no effect.
It’s not clear what she should do. That’s why I started this thread, to get some ideas on how to deal with this.
As an example, W1 sends the following (paraphrased)
No response from B. A while later, W2 responds
Very soon after that B responds to W2’s response
It’s possible that B trusts W2 more than W1 and was waiting for W2’s opinion on the matter before agreeing with the new approach, but past review feedback has shown that W1 is strong technically and is praised by her peers, so I don’t think that is the explanation.
I agree that this is a good option in practical terms (i.e. to get the job done given the situation), but if I always had to go through a coworker to be able to get any response from my project Lead, I don’t think I’d like that at all.
Email is tricky. B may simply be prompted/reminded to reply after W2 does. But if W1 has suspicions about bias, it likely stems from more than emails. How does the Boss treat them both in person? In meetings? Does he socialize with W2?
I cant understand if you completely misunderstood my post or if you just disagree and are disregarding my points. The latter is fine by me. I realize W1 thinks it's because she's a woman. My suggestion was to address the root problem of not getting the feedback she wants and to leave out all the baggage about it not being fair that W2 gets faster feedback or that she suspects it's because she's a woman. I suggested that because I dont think it will be helpful to bring the other stuff up. I was under the impression you wanted suggestions. If you want people to wildly speculate on B’s motives based on a 3rd hand account of his behavior that’s fine too, I’ll just leave.
I don’t really care if you don`t like my ideas but at least give me credit for having understood you wanted ideas and posted mine.
I know this is just one example but I don’t see anything odd about this. First, W1 didn’t directly ask a question, she just make a suggestion. Then w2 replies, it’s brought to B’s attention a 2nd time, and the idea has more support than it did before. Yeah W2 is not the technical one but B has some assurance that someone with a brain read the whole thing over and thought about it, which still counts for something.
Is this just a problem with email or does it come up in RL conversation? it sounds like W1 is still getting good reviews.
I’m also not sure what your problem is with** Fuzzy Dunlop**'s post. You asked for opinions, you got an opinion.
I’ve done this - its how I handle one of my coworkers. I’m not sure if he is sexist or if he just doesn’t like ME, but if I need him to do something, I have someone else ask him. Me he will fight or ignore.
However, he is not my boss or my lead. He is a team member on my teams that I don’t control the composition of.
Since this is her boss, she might confront him, but I suspect that won’t turn out well, even if just done as a “I’d like quicker feedback than I’m getting” without any allegations of sexism. If she thinks he’s sexist, she probably also doesn’t think he’ll take constructive criticism from a woman well. So its best to just find some way to work around it. And start looking for a different team or a different job.
I don’t think I’d want to do this with a boss… what will be noticed is that W1 is not contributing to the project in that area, while W2 is. I don’t see how stopping work-related email communication with one’s superior is going to improve one’s relationship with them. To me, if the boss undervalues W1 already, not receiving emails from her is going to just further devalue her as an employee. I’d think better results would be had with the other suggestion of cc’ing W2 and have W2 follow up same-day in support of W1; at least then W1 is still visibly involved in the communication.
I’m interested in what happens in meetings. Does B respond to W1 there, or ignore her and respond to W2.
I don’t think it is a matter of trust. Those people a boss doesn’t trust get closer supervision. But I would be sure to make each email she sends actionable. Then it might be interesting for her to send up a follow-up email, quoting the original one, asking again for a response.