Reasons I'm happy SciFi hasn't become reality

Cafe Society
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Having read several threads on the board lamenting how we still don’t have jetpacks, teleportation, etc., I thought I’d start a thread about why we should be thankful that Science Fiction got the future wrong.

1.) I didn’t spend my thirtieth birthday running from a bunch of youth obsessed teenagers in bad seventies haircuts.
2.) I don’t dress in goofy jumpsuits like this guy or deal with a robot “helper” who does nothing other than waddle around saying “beedybeedybeedy”.
3.) My breakfast cereal is still people free.
4.) Although my windows based computer may be evil, it’s never tried to kill me.
5.) The zombie plague never happened.
6.) No matter how bad the Mexican food I ate for lunch gives me heartburn, I can rest easy knowing that an alien is not going to burst from my chest and kill my co-workers.
7.) And above all, I’m thankful that I don’t have to fight some dude whose wearing ass-less pants and football pads every every time I stop for gas.

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Visiting New York City or Los Angeles soon?

What?

I’m just askin’!

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  1. People are bad enough driving cars in essentially two dimensions. The prospect of people driving flying cars while yakking on the phone is frightening.
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  1. Jet packs. They can hold, what 10 minutes of fuel, and I’d bet not one of them would have a ‘check gas’ light. More things to fall out of the sky.
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10.) I can still eat steak and corned beef hash with three eggs, not a “protein pill”.

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  1. WW3 isnt history
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  1. Don’t have to work with larcenous, alcoholic robots or get my physical from a dangerously incompetent, poor, malodorous Yiddish lobster.

  2. William Shatner does not have access to any weapons more dangerous than his own singing voice.

  3. God has no need for a spaceship.

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  1. Computers haven’t taken over. Yet.
  2. “Aliens” are still human.
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17.) When I encounter a nearly nude woman I can tip her for bringing me my beer, not worry about her ripping out my heart and eating it.

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[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun]
4.) Although my windows based computer may be evil, it’s never tried to kill me./QUOTE]
Or inseminate you.

  1. People are still in charge, and the apes are still a relatively silent minority.
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Sing it brother! I came in here to say that very thing.
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Been to Detroit lately? :wink:

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Hmph, that’s why I have to do that for myself.

  1. I don’t have to pick my son, pick my daughter too, from the bottom of a long glass tube.
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  1. Disney has yet to make an animatronic Yul Brynner.
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Well I’m sure glad that Ray Bradbury’s Farenheit 451 was way off the mark. Just imagine a world in which it’s completely normal to have enormous wall-covering television sets in every room, and a population who are addicted to mindless fluff television shows, and who ignore the urgent pressing issues that exist in the real world…
Oh wait a minute… :frowning:

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  1. Big Brother isn’t watching…or IS he? :eek:

(Of course, 1984 would technically be the past. :stuck_out_tongue: )

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10 min is SciFi. With the Hydrogen peroxide/Nickel jet packs (like in the 007 movie) you get less than a minute.

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I’m not worried about my girlfriend being a replicant.
Even though I shave my head, I’m not given drugs that supress my sex drive & help me focus on my job…wait a minute, I think that part has come true for a lot of people…
I don’t live on the Exxon Valdez with Dennis Hopper as my skipper.
I probably won’t date a 25 year old Geena Davis, but I’m not going to turn into a half-fly/half-man due to a transporter accident.
I don’t have to run from DAMN DIRTY APES!

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1)There aren’t secret government projects popping out every time I turn around.

  1. Arnold Schwarzenegger will not become President .

  2. No horrible aliens will try to EX-TER-MI-NATE us.

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I am not kidnapped out of my life and forced to bear children for Ann Coulter.