I’m rather pleased that we never discovered a Slaver statue at the bottom of the ocean that turned out to be an actual Slaver preserved in a stasis field.
I don’t think talking will do you much good. RUN FROM THE GIANT EVIL BUNNIES!
I’m pleased and yet saddened that a naked space vampire has not (yet) chosen me to help her rule the world.
Oh, and we have not needed a King of the Impossible yet.
I’m glad our children are still relatively normal, not out-evolving us through a sort of telepathic transcendence.
I’m glad that me and my dog haven’t had to eat my girlfriend yet.
I’m glad there are no rectal-dwelling weasels.
Lupine, perhaps ? A reference to the vaguely wolf-headed Demons in A Plague of Demons.
Speaking of which, I’m glad my brain hasn’t been stolen, brainwashed and plugged into a giant alien tank.
Illudium phosdex resources remain abundant.
What may be your diaper, is “An Anal Bum Cover” for someone else. 
Whatever number we are on: Objects don’t do weird things. Like a a pencil that can make pennies pop out, or eyeglasses that make you invisible for 10 seconds.
((Sci Fi Channel Mini Series, from 2006, “The Lost Room” ))
I have not become addicted to sticking electronic feeds directly into my head and/or neck.
The earth’s core has not been sabotaged by alien beings. Nor the sun, moon, or oceans in general.
My cortical stack has not, as of yet, been burned.
I have not had to pay for my crimes by toiling as a mineworker on a distant and feculent planet.
And I’m glad my essence hasn’t been smoked by a tyrant.
8 Movie Futures Already Proven Wrong
Personally, I’m glad that a US super computer didn’t hook up with a Soviet super computer and decide that they were better at running things than we meat machines were.
I’m also glad that a drunken, cigar smoking, time travelling robot under the influence of a computer virus hasn’t shown up to steal our greatest art treasures.
Finally, I’m glad that no giant, radiation spawned lizards are roaming the planet. No, on second thought, I’d kind of prefer that! 
I’m glad we don’t rely on the damn Vulcan logic.
Yes, the actuality of war and starvation is infinitely preferable. 
I, for one, am pleased NOT to welcome our new ant overlords.
I’m happy we don’t have to stabilize Ringworld by killing off billions of sentient beings.
I’m relieved that I don’t have to choose between FEET or PODS for my children.
Or kick a young girl out of the airlock to complete my mission to save an ailing planet.
And I’m delighted that, so far, we’ve had no trouble with tribbles.
The Dolphins are still here.
I can still eat meat, swear, drink alcohol, and be as big an asshole as I wanna be without being fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality statute. I am INFINITELY grateful that there are more restaurants than Taco Bell.
And we can still shave!
Time has yet to break into fragments. Or different speed zones.
Stop motion photography has yet to show that a nuclear explosion is actually the Devil.
Armageddon hasn’t arrived, we haven’t defeated the invading legions of Hell with our robot armies, and we haven’t then watched Jesus and the Holy Host descend from Heaven, heal the robots and take them to Heaven in our place.
Earth hasn’t been taken over by robots programmed to make humans happy at any cost, down to performing brain surgery on you to make SURE you are happy.
Earth has yet to undergo a worldwide conversion to Islam via mind control as a prank.
So far, Twilos with eyes in the back of their head have yet to steal our thumbs.
The human species has yet to be assimilated by a single group mind calling itself “Frank”. ( Let’s Be Frank; love the title )
At least, I’m not Frank . . .
I don’t see any Sci-Fi future for us, on the contrary, I see us getting more and more conservative. Take our housing: we still build houses that are copies on AD 1600 models (complete with fireplaces)-WHY!
-our populace rejects science-and believes in ghosts, withces, evil spirits, etc. Most reject evolution
-a big chunk of the planet (islamic world) rejects rights for women, rejects freedom of thought
-we cling to obsolete notions of ogevernment (in the USA, we have these ridiculous primary elections)
WE have advanced technology-yet we refuse to free ourselves of this worship of the past!
I thought it was “Psmith”.