Reciting Scripture for Discount??

I was using a combination of the Yellow Pages and Google in an attempt to find a local dealer for replacement dishwasher parts (specifically, the lower rack of a GE GSD2230). One place in particular looked very promising, so I checked out their website – where I found this:

I’ve encountered my share of Bible-toting repairmen, but I’ve never been offered a discount for reciting scripture. Anyone else encountered anything like this?

(Follow-up on the dishwasher: found a slightly used rack on eBay. Mom doesn’t seem to want it in her dishwasher though.)

I’d recite a refreshing blast of blasphemy for a discount. Hell, I’d do that to pay $10 more.

But recite <i>Christian</i> scripture? I’d rather have a root canal.

Years ago, there was a gas station in Pensacola that offered a discount to “those Jesus loves”. Around the South, it is not uncommon to see restaurants offer a discount on Sundays to anyone that brings in a Church program (or whatever they call those little handout thingies at the service).

The “little handout thingies at the service” are often referred to as bulletins.

That’s the word I needed. Thanks.

Hmm…I’ve never heard of using a church bulletin to get a discount. I do remember one restaurant near where I grew up that had, hanging near the register, a Photoshopped picture featuring Jesus superimposed over an old building. I think the general effect was supposed to be “we took a picture of an old building, and look what developed!” I’m pretty sure you could get some kind of discount by making a positive comment about the picture.

“Jesus wept.”

Is that a discount for any bulletin, or just when it had their ad? I’m used to seeing bulletin ads like “10% off your dinner check at Flannigan’s”, but I’ve never heard of a general discount for church go-ers. I am also not from anywhere near the South.

I’ve seen it for any bulletin. I’ve only ever seen ads in Catholic bulletins. In nay other denomination, it would be seen as strange and inappropriate.

I’ve seen restaurants offer a discount for any bulletin. Usually local mom & pop outfits.

So you have to recite the specific piece of scripture for the discount in the OP?

I was hoping you could use any scripture…

:: a small country restaurant, early on a Sunday afternoon ::
:: an oddly-silent motorcycle pulls up outside ::
:: two dusty travelers enter ::
:: they see the sign advertising the discount and look at each other ::

“We’d like the Down Home Special Lunch, please, with the discount.”
“Of course, hon. Your scripture?”
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fh’tagn…

The next day, a report on the local news states that the police are continuing to cordon off the remains of Mom’s Country Luncheteria due to ‘inexplicable physical phenomena’. Quite a number of emergency personnel have been hospitalised, in addition to the staff and customers of the restaurant. The travelers and their motorcycle cannot be found.

It wasn’t this masterpiece, was it?

Not quite, but a very similar concept. The photo was of an old log cabin or barn in an overgrown area; a semi-transparent image of Jesus, facing the viewer with arms outstretched, was positioned over the cabin.

*Oh, oh! There goes Tokyo! Christzilla! *

Awesome.

Around here those are called “holier than thou” discounts- offered every Sunday in the Virginia/Tennesee/North Carolina triangle. Discriminates, but there are frequently enough bulletins blowing around any given parking lot on Sunday that the “holier than thou” discount becomes a “dust it off and claim it as yours” discount. (littering must not be mentioned as a no-no in that Book)

Funny is a group of stoned, patchouli drenched Goth teenagers standing in line at Waffle house clutching various filthy, road-stained, and crumpled bulletins. Funnier still is watching the look on the face of the manager or hostess while he considers whether or not to turn the obvious heathens away.

A few years ago we stood behind a group of morbid kids and waiting for the hostess manager to make a ruling on a particularly dirty bulletin, and when the manager handed the bulletin back and started his speech, the lead Robert Smith lookalike leaned in and said ominously: “fishes and loaves, man, fishes and loaves.” They were seated right away.

I once used a synagogue handout for one of those “holier than thou” discounts. The waitress’s eyes just got very wide as she punched in the discount. I honestly don’t think she quite knew what to do.

That look on her face was priceless. This was in West Texas, BTW.

Robin