Highland Park (straight)
Bailey’s and lemonade
Chas.E -You get 3 laughs for that! 
To the OP:
As far as the drinks go…Screwdrivers are good. Just make sure they are using real orange juice, and not orange flavored stuff.
But, my personal favorite is a blue motorcycle. They taste GOOD. Too good in fact. It does have gin, but you can’t taste it…And hell, after you drink half of a blue motorcycle, you won’t care what they bring you. (LOTS of alcohol in a blue motorcycle)
I have a question about the beer. I assume you do not like beer? How many times have you tried it? I used to hate the stuff until I got a good buzz going with vodka, and ran out. All I had left was beer, so I drank it. After that I never had a problem drinking it again.
Plato? Aristotle? Socrates? Morons!
~ Can you be so warm? Can you know what I feel? -Better Than Ezra
I’d personally go with the 7 & 7; it’s my favorite drink, although I don’t drink much at all. LOL I think the last time I had one was my brother’s wedding reception back in 96! You could also go with what they used to call a Highball, which is whiskey and gingerale. 
Hope this helps ya!
tarragon
Ha… You remind me of my first college girlfriend, she used to drink peppermint schnapps and Tang. No, not Tang mixed in water and used as a mixer, Tang powder mixed directly in the schnapps.
That sounds…Gross. Did you ever try any of this lethal brew?
as far as i’m concerned, you can never go wrong with a good vodka tonic.
malibu and hawaiian punch isn’t bad either
and how about a toasted almond?
First I want to smash this “Girly” myth, if a drink tastes nice, I want to drink it.
My personal favourites are
Guinness stout, Heiniken Beer, Bacardi Rum & Coke w/ ice.
For coctails I love Vodka & Tia Maria mixed with Coke and a dash of Draught Guinness…smooth and creamy…mmmhmm.
Also nice is a “Pink Fluff”. This is Peach Schnapps and Baileys(or any Irish cream, except the one with the mint in, euch!) mixed with Pineapple Juice and and some Grenadine to colour, given a good shake to get the Fluff!!
Now theres a “girly” drink, but it’s damn nice.
Guinness. That’s the answer. Just plain olde stout.
You’ll have to come over here to Ireland everytime you want a decent pint but that’s not too much to ask now is it 
Failing that I’d go with a Jameson on the rocks.
Primarily, I just wanted to focus on non-beer drinks. I’ve had my share of beer, tried Bud, Corona, Sam Adams, Heineken, Guinness and a few local varieties. I like Corona, Heineken and Guinness, but I’ve had bad experiences with Sam Adams, and I really don’t like skanky keg beer. Sometime it just depends on my mood. Though most of the time I couldn’t care less if it was Bud Light or Guinness. Ok, that’s not quite true, but the quality of beer isn’t terribly important to me. I don’t hate beer, but I don’t like it enough to consider it a great drink, just more appropriate at times.
As for gin, my worst bad experience involved mostly gin, so unless you absolutely cannot taste the gin, I probably won’t enjoy it.
Is it me, or does that just sound nasty?
I’ll raise you one. Vodka, lemon, lime and bitters. Mmmmmm.
How about a Flatliner?
1/2 a shot of tequila
some drops of tabasco
1/2 a shot of sambuca
I’m guessing that N.K. means “lemonade” in the British sense, i.e. Sprite or a similar carbonated beverage.
It still sounds kind of unpleasant to me (I don’t like sweet drinks), but at least it wouldn’t make the Bailey’s congeal. Ugh.
Alright, I had this at a wedding, and while I’m not a big drinker it’s my drink of choice, but you get some strange looks sometimes ordering it. It’s called a WHOO-WHOO
1/3rd Cranbery Juice
1/3rd Peach Schnapps
1/3rd Vodka
why what is lemonade in USA?
btw it does make it congeal. heheh!
An amaretto sour, made properly, can be an amazing drink. The same goes for a good white Russian, which is much easier for an amateur to properly mix than an amaretto sour. I know because I can make a mean Caucasian, but my amaretto sours have left much to be desired. If you want a good one, go to an extremely classy bar. The best one I ever had (and, for that matter, the best mixed drink I’ve ever had), was at the bar of an expensive restaurant in midtown Manhattan as my date and I waited to be seated.
Malibu Rum and Hawaiian Punch?!?!?! Man, throw in a splash of pineapple juice, and you have a Bluesman Low-Budget Hurricane, there! (Yummy, and gits them panties off yer date faster than scenes of Leonardo drowning heroically.)
Oh, and the manliest drink that has not been mentioned yet is the brain-cell killin’, bail-money losin’, explain to the wife through a locked front door at three in the mornin’, the one - the only - the reigning champ of lost car keys and friendships — SOJU!
Hell, the entire Korean War can be traced to Kim il Sung on a weekend bender with a combat bottle (a military term for the exact measurement of soju needed to burn a wet mule (standard size), or to give an infantry battalion (plus support elements) career problems and a three-day hangover).
On the side of each bottle, there’s a warning label that reads:
“Are you trying to prove something, man? Put the bottle down, and back slowly away. Billy, don’t be a hero.”
Unfortunately, it’s in Korean, but I’ve tried to warn you, haven’t I?
Sadly, Bluesman, I’ve soldiered soju, both green and clear, and to paraphrase Lloyd Bentson: “I knew vodka, I served in the senate with vodka. Vodka was a friend. You, soju, are no vodka.”
As for the OP; I counsel you to stock your liquor tantalus as liberally as these wealth of posts suggest ($600 should do it). If lonely, imbibe of the colorfully-hued liquors - my preference is for Pernod and tonic, a drink that serves to make this world an at least temporarily rational place. If convivial, serve your fellows and yourself with the most golden-blooded drinks: straight whiskey/whisky/rum/tequilla, always, always with a good toast (Steinbeck’s “over the river, boys” is one of my favorites). And, if hungry, by all means reach for the Guinness - it’s the beer that eats like a meal!
I had something very much like this this weekend, when my friend (who usually drinks Cosmopolitans) asked the bartender to suggest something similar, yet different. However, the bartender called this drink a “Royal Flush.” It was served on the rocks in a martini glass.
OK, time for Neurotik’s alcohol picks:
Sticking with the OP’s request for ginless and beerless (there go my usual starters) I would recommend the Glass Tower for a regular drink:
1 oz vodka
1 oz Southern Comfort
1 oz Triple Sec
1 oz dark rum
1/2 oz Sambuca
in a tall glass with ice, then fill with lemon-lime soda. Good stuff. Mess you up, too.
Now for the fun drinks:
Screaming Nazi - 3/4 shot Jaegermeister, 1/4 shot Rumpleminz 100 proof peppermint Schnapps.
You said you liked tabasco, but these might be too painful:
Prairie Fire - 4/5 shot of tequila, 1/5 shot of tabasco
Buffalo Sweat - 4/5 shot of bourbon, 1/5 shot of tabasco
And one of my favorites:
Irish Carbomb - order a half pint of Guiness and a shot of half Bailey’s and half Jameson’s separate. Take the shot and drop it into the Guiness. Proceed to chug as quickly as you can before the Bailey’s curdles. It’ll taste kinda like chocolate milk, and can also mess you up.
That reminds me of a drink introduced to me by a roommate, called a “cement mixer”:
[ol]
[li]Pour half a shot of Bailey’s into your mouth[/li][li]Pour an equal amount of lime juice into your mouth[/li][li](swish, swish, swish, swallow) – not for the faint of heart[/li][/ol]
Anyway, i’m surprised i haven’t seen Dr. Jack: Dr. Pepper and Jack Daniels