Recovering embezzled monkeys illegally gambled away

Rather than totally highjacking this GQ thread, I thought I’d start a new one here.

Thanks to Threadspotting, I did. I also persisted in reading it as “monkeys” in the OP, which brought to mind the following questions:
[ol]
[li]Why would noted animal rights activist Toby Maguire be gambling with monkeys?[/li][li]How would one gamble with monkeys?[/li][li]Why would you gamble with monkeys?[/li][li]Most importantly - how the hell would you embezzle monkeys in the first place?[/li][/ol]

If you were a zoo-keeper, entrusted by the zoo that employed you with the care of some monkeys, and you took those monkeys and sold them to a third party (e.g., a pet store), you would be embezzling monkeys.

(It’s not stealing, because you had lawful possession of those monkeys).

Embezzling animals is actually a really popular “gotcha” Bar Exam question in New York State.

Basically, you have to loan the animal to another person (they must be rightfully in possession, but not the owner), who wrongfully sells it without your permission.

So if you’re like, “hey Bob you can borrow my monkey until next week.” And then your pal sells your monkey to appear on the set of “Friends” he just embezzled your monkey.

Most monkey embezzlement involves very small sums. Chimp change essentially.

How would one gamble with monkeys?
We’ve all seen the pictures of gambling dogs. Monkeys are smarter and can play more variations, not just five card stud.

Why would you gamble with monkeys?
Why wouldn’t you? They’re not going to tell your wife how much you lost last night or let it slip that you think the new secretary is hot. If you get too drubnk and pee your pants they’ll think it’s normal. They make you laugh. Most of them don’t smoke, so few of them will keep mooching your cigars. It takes less to get them drunk so you save on booze.

Why would noted animal rights activist Toby Maguire be gambling with monkeys?
Because he can. Come on, if you were making millions for kissing beautiful women in exotic locations would you be satisfied with a normal poker game in someone’s garage? You think Michael Jackson kept Bubbles around so that he’d have a tennis partner? You should see John Travolta’s Friday night poker buddies. They’re out of this world.

Tobey, stop embezzling your monkey and get out here! Other people have to use the bathroom.

[quote=“Maus_Magill, post:1, topic:587029”]

I did. I also persisted in reading it as “monkeys” in the OP, which brought to mind the following questions:
[ol]
[li]Why would noted animal rights activist Toby Maguire be gambling with monkeys?[/ol][/li][/QUOTE]

Well, they were spider monkeys, of course.

I hate playing poker with monkeys, 'specially when they start flinging shit all over the place. I mean, come on, we’ve got munchies on the table!

Are they embezzled munchies?

In Buffy, Spike and fellow demons gamble with kittens. The “kitty” was thus quite literal. He later was threatened by a loan shark (also literal) for his debts - also to be paid in kittens. He asked for a little more time to pay, and was told that “time is what turns kittens into cats!” presumably degrading their value.

Whatever tickles your peach, man.

Marmosets are so small, you can fit several into your coat pockets.

Don’t ask me how I know, just trust me on that.

We all read it as monkeys because ‘moneys’ is properly spelled ‘monies’, right?

That’s why they make good antes.

That is my theory.

Not even close. :wink:

ETA: But I fell for the “gambling with (against) monkeys” idea because I know how stupid it is to raise raccoons as pets, as they are dogs with hands, and monkeys are smarter.

So where does the “gotcha” come in? What do people often THINK the correct answer is?

Which is why I never gamble with monkeys. I never bet against someone who may be smarter than me.

My guess is that law students might think that money is all that can be embezzled, when you can embezzle any kind of property, including munchies and monkeys. (On the other hand, you can’t embezzle monks, because they cannot be property.)

For Heaven’s sake, let’s get this thread back on track, people!

If you’ll recall, the thread topic is “Recovering embezzled monkeys illegally gambled away.” All I have to say on the subject is this:

You will NEVER recover your monkeys. All your monkeys are belong to US. You can have my monkeys when you pry them from my cold, dead fingers!

Actually the real question is can you legally gamble embezzled monkeys?

The other choices will be more common forms of property theft, and as Giles said, people will be distracted and won’t think about how you can embezzle things other than money.

The answer is actually obvious if you’re paying attention. But people will tend to second guess themselves (part of studying for the Bar is the realization that every new thing you learn is actually pushing something else out…)