Regifting: was this incredibly rude or was it a subtle message?

One of my siblings and his wife spend every other Christmas with our parents, and the others with hers. No big deal.

Last year there were several items that each one of us got - the same items, one item/set of items for each household. I got one, each unmarried sibling got one, and married brother and his wife got one set.

This year, at least three of these items were regifted to other siblings: one to me, and one each to the other brothers. None of the rest of us are married and generally spend the holiday with the parents. This year was no exception.

I have no problem with regifting, But I thought the idea of regifting was to pass the gift on to someone who might like it better or be better able to use it, but in such a way that the original gifter is not offended. This was a little frustrating to me: it makes me wonder how many of the items I’ve given them have simply been passed along. I also wonder if they’re sending a message to us about what they think of the gifts they’ve received.

It may well be both. According to Miss Manners, regifting is fine as long as you make absolutely sure that the original giver doesn’t know that you have done it. To regift within the same circle in which the gift was given is in incredibly bad taste whether it is intentional or not.

My mother in law took regifting to a new level this Christmas. In September, for my birthday, she gave me two serving plates. One was inadvertantly left behind, and I keep forgetting to ask her for it when I see her…

Guess what I got for Christmas?

I’m voting rude/thoughtless. If you are going to throw something on the regift pile, put a note on it saying who gave it to you in the first place, then don’t regift it to them or anyone they know. Geeze!

It’s time for the family to reconsider gifting.
All should agree and stop the nonsense.


“Beware of the Cog”