To thecat: Welcome! What a thoughtful post!
I regret that this post is so long. It’s easy to get carried away with a topic like this.
Susma:
I agree with you only in part. Yes, there are times when I pray in order to influence the power to react favorably (grant a request). But that is so far from the basis of my faith now.
I was born into a moderately liberal Christian family and certainly still find the influence of those early experiences in some of my beliefs. My father’s ability to live with such compassion for others has been and continues to be, a great influence.
I don’t see God or Jesus as a completely “unknown” powers. I believe that God is omni-present and knowable in that way. I know just enough to feel that the path I am taking is the right one for me. But for the most part, God (which I have come to think of as “the Great Cosmic Glue” is incomprehensible. Jesus seems more personal.
I don’t see relgion in terms of behavior. I see it in terms of beliefs which may or may have an effect on my behavior.
When you talk about “affection” are you speaking of love? For God? For our fellow human beings? For the Cosmos?
I don’t think that my actions (except the prayers that I mentioned) are based on human reward. I honestly think that I would be a Christian even if I didn’t believe in eternal life. And I think that I would feel compassion even if I didn’t believe in God at all.
My beliefs about the literal interpretation of the Bible began to change when I was 18. When I was in my thirties, I had an experience that changed my perception about “ultimate reality.” It lasted for perhaps five or ten moments – it is hard to judge time from a state of euphoria. Since then, I have believed that the great religious faiths as all leading to one God. Everything seemed to be One thing. And I could, for the first time, understand why Buddhists can desire non-existence.
I returned to that state for only a few seconds upon awakening one morning. But the memory of is very fresh.
I don’t try to figure things out so much anymore. I accept that I don’t know the answers. I feel comfortable with the “not knowing” but I remain open to the possibility of more growth. I feel comfortable in my Christian beliefs, but I am not troubled* by those who have another path – and that includes atheism.
*I continue to struggle with the words and ways of fundamentalist Christians.