Remake THE WIZARD OF OZ using contemporary FX & actors

Cafe Society
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By the usual absurd, thieving, and occasionally murderous means, I have acquired a $100,000,000 I need to launder. I’ve decided to remake the The Wizard of Oz. Being hella lazy I will be sloughing the actual work onto one of y’all. You’ll be credited as Executive Producer, as I find it needful to remain discreet as regards this project.

Here are the rules:

  1. It has to be a musical. You can use any song from either TWoO or its vastly superior but sadly underrated cousin, The Wiz. No new songs. Why? Because I said so, that’s why.
  2. You get to hire whatever living & active director, actors, and FX company you want. Except Peter Jackson, George Lucas, that girl who plays Hannah Montana, and Tom Cruise, of course. They’ve all done enough harm to the world.
  3. Though you must adhere to the same basic story and motivations, you may, if you wish, alter things so that Oz is a real place rather than Dorothy’s fever dream.
  4. I was going to add a fourth rule but I was distracted by work and forgot what it was, so screw it.

Any takers?

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Written by Charlie Kaufman, music by Jason Segel.

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You wish. This being Hollywood, the Wizard is going to wind up being played by Jim Carry and the music is going to be by Justin Beber.

4

Can we use songs from Wicked?

Cast:
Aunt Em: Judi Dench
Uncle Henry: Sam Elliott
Dorothy: Unknown chosen after a nationwide cattle-call audition
Glinda: Kristin Chenoweth
Munchkins: All played by Andy Serkis via motion-capture, multiplied and sex-shifted as necessary
The Wicked Witch: Sara Jessica Parker
The Scarecrow: Jeff Goldblum
The Tin Man: Keanu Reeves (hey, it’s a short step from wooden acting to metallic acting)
The Cowardly Lion: Me (trust me, I can carry it off.)
The Wizard of Oz: The computerized avatar of Steve Jobs

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Are we allowed to base it on the book, rather than on the 1939 movie?

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Can we use Muppets? 'Cuz if so, my work here is done.

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I was going to say no, but then I decided that I didn’t care. :wink: Especially as the notion that Oz is as real as Kansas invites it.

Really, the only non-joke rules are that it has to be a musical with songs from either or both of the two musical adaptations.

gaffa, why must you bring reality into it? Why not just play? Neither the OP nor its thread title invites you to predict what an Oz adapation would look like; it invites you to imagine what you would like to see.

Chief Troy, I’d want to keep Wicked out of it, but knock yourself out. That said, you will cease your slanders of Sarah Jessica Parker, or there will be blood. :smiley:

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Dorothy => Justin Beiber

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i kind of love this, except i think i would choose adrian brody as the scarecrow instead.

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Because I’m still bitter about the execrable Justin Beber video I was forced to sit through that was put in front of the otherwise wonderful Aurthur Christmas. And how A Series of Unfortunate Events was turned into a Jim Carey project, killing a potentially lucrative series in the very first film.

Anyone who wants to see what Oz can look like with reasonably modern movie techniques should watch the criminally underrated 1985 Return to Oz. It is so much closer in feel to the Oz books that the 1939 film, but most reviewers couldn’t get past their love of the Garland film to see it for what it was.

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All I know about Justin Bieber is how to spell his name, so I can’t really comment on it. But do you mean there was a Bieber video contained in Arthur Christmas, or was it contained in the previews?

I too like Return, and Baum’s original novels. I reconcile my love for the Garland and Ross films by considering them entirely different works that happen to have characters of the same name. (As Wicked so obviously is as well, except that I don’t love it.)

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I guess you could go the obvious route and Tim Burtonize it.

But I mainly came in to suggest making it closer to Return to OZ, which I agree is both under-rated and gave me nightmares for a month when they showed it in elementary school. So I second Gaffa’s suggestion.

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Sorry, but Adrien Brody is unable to participate due to a scheduling conflict… he’s busy playing the part of Ichabod Crane in the fantasy cast of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

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Not to mention starring in my drunk-hallucination Lifetime movie, The Ric Ocasek Story.

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It was after all the regular previews and just before the movie, like a Pixar short before a regular Pixar movie. Fortunately, it was mocked in the film itself by only two seconds of it being played on a radio in a house as Santa’s “sleigh” passed over.

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Yeah, let’s have Tim Burton “update” it by making it look all depressing and goth. Johnny Depp can ponce around as the Scarecrow.

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I have a half developed idea to have Oz meets Oz. Like I said, it’s only half formed, but there’s something there.

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That would mean Helena Bonham Carter would have to be either the good witch or the bad witch. It would be more visually interesting to have a goth good witch, so Carter would probably be Glenda.

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Glenda, the chain-smoking, skanky Good Witch. Awesome.

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First and foremost, there must be cleavage monkeys. The Tin Man was garbage but those titty apes rocked.

I am disappointed that there is not an Ease on Down The Yellow Brick Road mash-up already made.

Dorothy- Adele. Hey, if Diana Ross can play Dorothy then even Bea Author’s zombie corpse can. Plus I’d love to hear Adele sing Over The Rainbow.

Toto- Dramatic Chipmunk.

Cowardly Lion- Jocyln Wildenstein

Wicked Witch-- Damian Lewis. That thing that resides where his mouth should be is friggin scary. He’ll not need green make-up. Don’t know how he’ll handle the cleavage monkeys but, you know, CGI.

Scarecrow- Tara Reid. Because she’s made for this role, coming already pre-stupid.

Tin Man- Huge Jackman. It’s a musical and he needs to be in it somewhere.

The Wiz- Peter Dinklage. He’ll win an Oscar for his brave, yet tiny, performance